Novels you claimed to have read but actually haven't

writerwithQs

Forgetting book endings is my superpower
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Oct 29, 2009
Messages
321
Reaction score
53
Location
Oklahoma
Man, I'm a little dissapointed. I can't be the only person out there who pretended to finish a book that a friend made them read... "The world according to Garp," for one. My college roommate made me read it and It took me three weeks to skim enough pages that I could pretend to have read it... Of course, she didn't buy it, and I had to go back and do it again, but the point is that I tried.
 

kaitie

With great power comes
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Sep 10, 2009
Messages
11,732
Reaction score
4,650
I suppose my question would be why not just say, "I didn't really like it." Granted I'm pretty likely to actually sit through something I don't particularly like and then say that it wasn't my cup of tea after, but if you really don't enjoy it and don't want to read it, why not just say it's not your style and move on?
 

bearilou

DenturePunk writer
Kind Benefactor
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Aug 5, 2009
Messages
6,004
Reaction score
1,233
Location
yawping barbarically over the roofs of the world
why not just say it's not your style and move on?

Intellectually, I agree with you. However...

My experiences (online and in RL) have come down to an understanding that some people don't handle it well. If you say 'I read it and it just wasn't for me' somehow that translates into many minds of 'I disapprove of YOU'. I don't know how that wire gets crossed but it does and I've watched it in action (and took the lumps) many times.

Some days it's just easier to edge around the truth of it than to deal with the potential emotional fallout. :Shrug:
 

Adam

Not dead.
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Nov 24, 2008
Messages
7,640
Reaction score
2,900
I'll only tell someone I've read a book if I've read it cover to cover.

Otherwise I'll say "I haven't read it. Is it any good?" and let the person extol its virtues to me, then tell them "I'll have to keep an eye out for it." ;)
 

Dicentra P

Help!!!!
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Aug 19, 2009
Messages
334
Reaction score
60
Location
on the brink
Berilou and Joslin you need to cultivate a noncommittal "mmmmm". Of course my taciturn and curmudgeonly personality is well established so getting even that out of me is an accomplishment that pleases most of the acquaintances who would push unpleasant books. I limit actual conversations to people who are secure enough to agree to disagree.
 

bearilou

DenturePunk writer
Kind Benefactor
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Aug 5, 2009
Messages
6,004
Reaction score
1,233
Location
yawping barbarically over the roofs of the world
Berilou and Joslin you need to cultivate a noncommittal "mmmmm". Of course my taciturn and curmudgeonly personality is well established so getting even that out of me is an accomplishment that pleases most of the acquaintances who would push unpleasant books. I limit actual conversations to people who are secure enough to agree to disagree.

Heee! I used to have that one down pretty good. I should take it out and polish it up.
 

OpheliaRevived

Real Men Have Gills
Kind Benefactor
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Dec 11, 2008
Messages
995
Reaction score
92
Location
The Cold Deep
I've only read half of The Grapes of Wrath. I couldn't finish it. *hides face in shame* The worst part? I got an A on the report without resorting to Cliff Notes.
 

JuliaRene

Registered
Joined
Sep 22, 2009
Messages
37
Reaction score
4
Location
Boston, MA
Closest thing to lying about reading a book was in high school.

In my defense, I never actually said I read Jane Eyre (spelling anyone?), however it was assumed for the English test. Also in my defense, I was out sick the entire week everyone else had a copy of the book and was given the test the day after I came back. I got through a few pages at best.

I asked friends what the book was about. I'm not sure they actually read the thing with the vague answers and bad test scores all around. Maybe I'll go pick it up next time I'm at the library.

I never finished 1984. They got caught and I got bored. I skimmed over the last few pages of A Brave New World as well. Guess I'm not an intellectual. My mother will be disappointed. ;)
 

AllieKat

just a writer, unbranded
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Aug 27, 2009
Messages
499
Reaction score
60
Website
thewritinglifeforme.blogspot.com
I don't think I've ever actually lied about not reading a book, either. I just...keep quiet if I'm not totally proud of having read it. Or if it's the sort of book people will think I'm stuck up if I talk about having read it.
 

misa101

Future Mrs. Hugh Jackman
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Apr 10, 2009
Messages
79
Reaction score
12
Location
Newfoundland Canada
Website
misa101.blogspot.com
- Counted Shakespeare plays you studied at high school as part of your 'Shakespeare reading'.

reading is reading IMO. I have actually reread all Shakespeare that I read in high school so that one doesn't really apply but I still claim to have read 'Old Man and the Sea' even though I can only claim this because I was forced to read it in grade 11. Honestly I would commit suicide by papercut before I read it again once was enough.
 

DWSTXS

Mr Mojo Risin...
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jan 13, 2008
Messages
2,504
Reaction score
647
Location
Carrollton, TX
Website
www.pbase.com
I don't think I've lied outright about reading/not reading anything, but I'm pretty sure that a lot of my friends/family assume that because I write, that I've read most of the classics, and I've never gone out of my way to correct them.

I will say that I have never read anything by Ayn Rand, and I never read Gone With The Wind.
 

Xelebes

Delerium ex Ennui
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Aug 8, 2009
Messages
14,205
Reaction score
884
Location
Edmonton, Canada
Intellectually, I agree with you. However...

My experiences (online and in RL) have come down to an understanding that some people don't handle it well. If you say 'I read it and it just wasn't for me' somehow that translates into many minds of 'I disapprove of YOU'. I don't know how that wire gets crossed but it does and I've watched it in action (and took the lumps) many times.

Some days it's just easier to edge around the truth of it than to deal with the potential emotional fallout. :Shrug:

I have this issue where I just bulldoze through situations like that without a care for the other person's reaction until AFTER I've said it. Works for me. I can handle the hellfire I get for it.

I only danced around the issue in school because it was for marks. And I never really did say that I read the book, I just did the tests and essay on it which is, in effect, like saying you read the darned thing.
 

kayleamay

I'm on the phone.
Kind Benefactor
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jul 29, 2009
Messages
15,143
Reaction score
4,250
Location
Vantucky, WA
I don't think I've ever lied about what I've read. I just don't see the point. I do count the Shakespeare and lit classics I read in school as "yep, read it," because well, I read them and probably paid closer attention than I do in my leisure reading because I knew I'd be tested afterward. I don't read to impress. I read for brain candy.
 

Pepper

I IS PRANCING
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Apr 28, 2009
Messages
416
Reaction score
77
Location
Australia
Website
houseofpeppers.blogspot.com
I've never lied about not reading a book, per se....

When I was young and madly sketching in an artist's draft pad, my mother bought me a book on how to draw ('manga style' I believe was the rest of the title) and it was awful. The front cover was enough to turn me off, but when I flipped to a random page, that was it for me. Book was buried in the back of my cupboard. Of course, I told my mum that I loved the book and followed all the exercises and improved my drawing ability because of it. I didn't want to hurt her feelings, especially when the book cost almost $30.

I find it interesting that a preteen just earning her (artist) chops was able to pick out all the anatomical inaccuracies of the illustrations in a published 'how to draw' book.
 

Lady Ice

Makes useful distinctions
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Sep 11, 2009
Messages
4,776
Reaction score
417
To Kill a Mockingbird. Bluffed my way through it in English class. Couldn't stand reading the first chapter, couldn't stand reading the rest of the book.

Got better in the courtroom scene...but still. I suppose if the reader was young it might be okay but still...

English Lit is very competitive at uni. My personal statement mainly mentions 20th century American books, including drama. I've mentioned Vanity Fair and Swinburne and Shakespeare but still...it looks kinda bad. There's a big temptation to exaggerate in that situation.

But the thing is, I know tragedy and American drama. I could hold my head high in a discussion about them. So why shouldn't I mention them?
 

Hillary

Neural Trailblazer
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jul 4, 2007
Messages
829
Reaction score
3,166
Location
Cape Cod
I've lied to teachers before. I wasn't about to tell them, "No, that was rubbish and I HATE a large portion of literature from fin de siècle Vienna and I refuse to finish it... Now please grade my essay."

I'm not an idiot.
 

semilargeintestine

BassGirl 5000
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jan 22, 2009
Messages
4,763
Reaction score
1,034
I'm specialising in Shakespeare in school. I find it a little offensive that because I'm doing it in an academic setting, I'm not really reading it--even though I'm reading it far more carefully than the average person just reading it for fun. That makes no sense to me.

I've never lied about reading a book or seeing a movie or anything. I really don't care if someone thinks less of me because I haven't seen The Godfather. I have absolutely no plans to ever see that film, and anyone who thinks less of me because of that is not worth my time.
 

Dicentra P

Help!!!!
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Aug 19, 2009
Messages
334
Reaction score
60
Location
on the brink
I've never lied about reading a book or seeing a movie or anything. I really don't care if someone thinks less of me because I haven't seen The Godfather. I have absolutely no plans to ever see that film, and anyone who thinks less of me because of that is not worth my time.

The thing I don't get about movies is that when I see a movie I don't care for because of another person it is because I see it WITH them. Reading a book is less communal. I saw The Godfather only because I saw it with my then boyfriend/now husband. I would not see it on my own. I see every Bond movie with him. He thinks it is for the same reason. :D Sometimes it is.
 
Last edited:

semilargeintestine

BassGirl 5000
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jan 22, 2009
Messages
4,763
Reaction score
1,034
My girlfriend is seeing 2012 with me because my best friend and his boyfriend roped me into going with them, and my girlfriend is the best person in the world, so she agreed. :D It will definitely be an experience, and I'm only seeing it because of the people going.
 

ad_lucem

Peligro:Herbicidal Poriomaniac
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Mar 24, 2009
Messages
1,835
Reaction score
314
I'm sure we're all guilty of one of the following:

- Pretended to have read a book a friend lent you so you don't hurt their feelings but really you were too busy/didn't like it.

- Counted a book amongst the classics you've read when in fact you only managed to get halfway through.

- Given opinions on books you haven't read based on the general consensus amongst your mates/the press/your elite social circle.

- Name-dropped some books in order to look intelligent

- Claimed to have read a book when you've only watched the movie.

- Counted Shakespeare plays you studied at high school as part of your 'Shakespeare reading'.

In college? You bet. There are plenty of "academic" and/or high-brow books I've skimmed, but not read. I think I got the gist that way, so I don't think not "reading" them in a committed way is only a small sin. Case in point: I hate Hemingway, the Bronte Sisters, and Philip Roth. Skimmed, not read for this reason. (Sorry to those I might have offended--each to their own taste!)

Developmental psych prof. actually had me read that gawdawful crap-pile The Five People You Meet in Heaven. Despite the very short length of the book, I watched the movie to finish the assignment. As far as I was concerned that was painful enough!

Given opinions on books I haven't read? Only if penned by Paul Ehrlich, because he's a jackass. One needn't read him to know what he's about. (Same goes for John Gray--the academic or the self-help guru...either way.)

Name-dropped? No, the circles I tend to run in as a student/sahm parent don't tend to be the most literary-minded groups. It would be more socially appropriate to name-drop TV shows I watch or bands I listen to in those circles.

I felt guilty about THE SECRET. A friend gifted me their FAVORITE book saying it would help me SO MUCH. I ended up accepting it. Next time I saw her, she asked, "Well, well, what did you think? Pretty profound stuff, huh?"

I didn't answer truthfully, because I didn't want to hurt her feelings. I tried to return the book. She wouldn't let me. She insisted I keep it for inspiration. *sigh* I didn't even make it all the way through the book before my BS-o-Meter blew a fuse in protest.
 

DWSTXS

Mr Mojo Risin...
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jan 13, 2008
Messages
2,504
Reaction score
647
Location
Carrollton, TX
Website
www.pbase.com
In college? You bet. There are plenty of "academic" and/or high-brow books I've skimmed, but not read. I think I got the gist that way, so I don't think not "reading" them in a committed way is only a small sin. Case in point: I hate Hemingway, the Bronte Sisters, and Philip Roth. Skimmed, not read for this reason. (Sorry to those I might have offended--each to their own taste!)

Developmental psych prof. actually had me read that gawdawful crap-pile The Five People You Meet in Heaven. Despite the very short length of the book, I watched the movie to finish the assignment. As far as I was concerned that was painful enough!

Given opinions on books I haven't read? Only if penned by Paul Ehrlich, because he's a jackass. One needn't read him to know what he's about. (Same goes for John Gray--the academic or the self-help guru...either way.)

Name-dropped? No, the circles I tend to run in as a student/sahm parent don't tend to be the most literary-minded groups. It would be more socially appropriate to name-drop TV shows I watch or bands I listen to in those circles.

I felt guilty about THE SECRET. A friend gifted me their FAVORITE book saying it would help me SO MUCH. I ended up accepting it. Next time I saw her, she asked, "Well, well, what did you think? Pretty profound stuff, huh?"

I didn't answer truthfully, because I didn't want to hurt her feelings. I tried to return the book. She wouldn't let me. She insisted I keep it for inspiration. *sigh* I didn't even make it all the way through the book before my BS-o-Meter blew a fuse in protest.

My brother just sent me the DVD of The Secret. Before I watched it, I made a guess that it would be a re-telling of a book from the 60's or 70's called the Power of Attraction.
Sure enough. There's absolutely nothing new in The Secret, it's almost the exact same thing as a book that was published 30-40 years ago.
 

ad_lucem

Peligro:Herbicidal Poriomaniac
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Mar 24, 2009
Messages
1,835
Reaction score
314
My brother just sent me the DVD of The Secret. Before I watched it, I made a guess that it would be a re-telling of a book from the 60's or 70's called the Power of Attraction.
Sure enough. There's absolutely nothing new in The Secret, it's almost the exact same thing as a book that was published 30-40 years ago.

Yep. Same horse-hockey, different day. I have to admit, part of my guilt after the fact was related to my worry over my friend's mental health. I felt, as someone who values rational thought, I should say something about the importance of weeding out BS from good info. I didn't, though. Couldn't bring myself to say anything other than "thanks".

Guilt for not reading it all, guilt for not being able to return the book, and guilt for not saying what I *really* thought. Oh well. It's still sitting on my shelf. LOL