Novels you claimed to have read but actually haven't

Lady Ice · Nov 3, 2009

I'm sure we're all guilty of one of the following:

- Pretended to have read a book a friend lent you so you don't hurt their feelings but really you were too busy/didn't like it.

- Counted a book amongst the classics you've read when in fact you only managed to get halfway through.

- Given opinions on books you haven't read based on the general consensus amongst your mates/the press/your elite social circle.

- Name-dropped some books in order to look intelligent

- Claimed to have read a book when you've only watched the movie.

- Counted Shakespeare plays you studied at high school as part of your 'Shakespeare reading'.

KTC · Nov 3, 2009

why would anybody do this? If I claim to read something, it's because I read it. I don't see why anybody would feel the need to lie about reading. Doesn't make sense.

AnonymousWriter · Nov 3, 2009

Like KTC, I don't understand why anyone would lie about this either. If I haven't read a book, I'll just say so. I'm supposed to pretend I've read all the classics to make me look intelligent?

By the way, if you've read Shakespeare's plays, then you've read Shakespeare. Doesn't matter when you read them. I've you've read them, then they count.

shakeysix · Nov 3, 2009

don quixote? in cervante's spanish? i have read big huge chunks of it and passed exams on it--but not the whole thing. i've always felt rotten about that fact but at this late date in my life i'd rather fess up than read the whole damned thing. ---s6 pepita jimenez and the rest of the stuff i really did read.

Cyia · Nov 3, 2009

Does subbing the short (abridged) version of Robinson Crusoe in 8th grade because it put me to sleep every 3 paragraphs count?

mscelina · Nov 3, 2009

Umm...as a woman with a nearly 8000 volume personal collection of books, I think it's safe to say that if I've read it, I still have it.

*that reminds me--I need to pack my books away in alphabetical order this time...*

Phaeal · Nov 3, 2009

None.

I do love the scene in The Fountainhead where Dominique tells Peter Keating it was nice of him to actually read a hyperpopular (but nearly unreadable) book -- most people only pretended to have read it, and the author would be pleased that there was at least one exception to the rule.

Of course she does zing him soon afterwards for quoting the reviews of the book instead of coming up with his own observations.

E. F. Benson's Lucia is another character who relies on reviews for her bookish small talk. Too funny, because too true.

Lady Ice · Nov 3, 2009

AnonymousWriter said:
Like KTC, I don't understand why anyone would lie about this either. If I haven't read a book, I'll just say so. I'm supposed to pretend I've read all the classics to make me look intelligent?

By the way, if you've read Shakespeare's plays, then you've read Shakespeare. Doesn't matter when you read them. I've you've read them, then they count.

Quite a lot of people lie without realising it- claiming to be more familiar with a book than they actually are. (Did you know, 'The Godfather' topped a poll of Films You've Claimed To Have Watched?)

And if you haven't read Shakespeare's plays off your own back then you haven't 'read' Shakespeare. You've been taught it- to an extent you've drawn your own conclusions but you still have the aid of a teacher.

scarletpeaches · Nov 3, 2009

Lady Ice said:
Quite a lot of people lie without realising it- claiming to be more familiar with a book than they actually are. (Did you know, 'The Godfather' topped a poll of Films You've Claimed To Have Watched?)

And if you haven't read Shakespeare's plays off your own back then you haven't 'read' Shakespeare. You've been taught it- to an extent you've drawn your own conclusions but you still have the aid of a teacher.

Oh, really? So because I read Macbeth at school I haven't read it properly?

Phaeal · Nov 3, 2009

I have a hard time reading books off my back -- positioning the mirror's such a pain.

I did memorize the first three acts of Hamlet. Is that intellectual enough for you?

I watched The Godfather. But just once. Read the book a couple times. All us good little Catholic schoolgirls did, until the Juicy Parts fell out from overthumbing.

Dicentra P · Nov 3, 2009

Lady Ice said:
Quite a lot of people lie without realising it- claiming to be more familiar with a book than they actually are. (Did you know, 'The Godfather' topped a poll of Films You've Claimed To Have Watched?)

And if you haven't read Shakespeare's plays off your own back then you haven't 'read' Shakespeare. You've been taught it- to an extent you've drawn your own conclusions but you still have the aid of a teacher.

So since I have a degree in Russian Literature and most or all of what I have read was covered in the course of study, then I've never read any Russian Literature?

mscelina · Nov 3, 2009

Lady Ice said:
And if you haven't read Shakespeare's plays off your own back then you haven't 'read' Shakespeare. You've been taught it- to an extent you've drawn your own conclusions but you still have the aid of a teacher.

I disagree. Shakespeare wrote plays, not novels. There are multiple interpretations to dramatic literature that you don't necessarily find in narrative literature. That's why every performance of Shakespeare is different.

Samantha's_Song · Nov 3, 2009

Alas, poor Scarlet, I knew her well... Actually, I was dreaming about you last night.

scarletpeaches said:
Oh, really? So because I read Macbeth at school I haven't read it properly?

For myself, I might have seen films and not actually read the books, but I am always honest about it. Oh, and I have actually seen The Godfather too.

Kitty Pryde · Nov 3, 2009

Lady Ice said:
And if you haven't read Shakespeare's plays off your own back then you haven't 'read' Shakespeare. You've been taught it- to an extent you've drawn your own conclusions but you still have the aid of a teacher.

I don't really agree. What if you read it and then you talked to someone knowledgeable about it? What if you read the Folger edition that explains some of the words and what the characters are talking about? What if you had to read it in school but then when the teacher discussed it you read x-men comics under your desk? Where do you draw the line about not having really read it?

That said--I read the first three pages of Teh Novel About Teh Sparkly Vampires That Shall Not Be Named, plus a synopsis of the series, and decided I had enough information to tell people that it was awful. And I felt no remorse. Ditto the first three pages of Angels and Demons.

Samantha's_Song · Nov 3, 2009

Do talking books have the same claim as written ones? It's someone reading to you instead of you having to bother to read it, that's the only way I got through, TDVC. But at least I know enough about it to be able to slag it off good and proper.

mscelina · Nov 3, 2009

Though I am not naturally honest, I am so sometimes by chance.
--William Shakespeare

.

Lady Ice · Nov 3, 2009

I don't claim to have read books I've never read- you can bet on it that someone actually has read it. And I'm pretty honest about what I haven't managed to finish- Moby Dick, for example.

University level study is fine- that's a proper in-depth study. But high-school level study of Shakespeare is only surface. People claiming to have 'read' Shakespeare bug me because it's normally in a bid to sound intellectual ('read' in brackets means 'read, understood, and have my own ideas on it'). If you've done it at school, say that

Memorising the first three acts of Hamlet? Wow. I can remember the odd line or sometimes speech

As for Shakespeare writing plays, of course dramatic literature is open to interpretation. That's why you should initially read it with no teacher and a vocab list if you need it to form your own opinions, to decide you don't find it interesting or to make it your own. Naturally you discuss it with other people afterwards to find their opinions- we all have our writing/reading preferences and views; they differ and it's that difference that makes studying books really interesting.

eyeblink · Nov 3, 2009

None. If I'd read something (even if I don't remember much of it, I will almost always remember I've read it at least) I'll say so, if not I won't.

Oh and I've seen The Godfather several times. And The Godfather Part II. And Part III, though only once in that case. Not read the novel though.

mscelina · Nov 3, 2009

Tossing out "shoulds" is subjective. I specialized in Shakespearean drama as a professional actress. I firmly believe that students should be introduced gradually and carefully to Shakespeare so they don't run off and get the Cliff Notes or watch a bad movie version of the plays.

And if you read the plays for class, you study the plays, discuss motivations and meter-then you are reading Shakespeare. No one should condescend an academic or educational pursuit and dismiss it out of hand. No one could possibly have the real life experience to do such a thing.

I was introduced to Shakespeare through teachers and turned it into a profitable theatrical career after I graduated from college. Believe me--any exposure to classical literature whether its voluntary or academically mandated is still a valid example of reading said literature. Your personal prerequisites don't exist outside of your intimate circle and shouldn't be applied to the rest of the world at large.

DeleyanLee · Nov 3, 2009

I haven't as of yet, but I am tempted to do so with the book I'm reading now. Everyone at work is all a-ga-ga over it and I'm 200 pages in, the plot is finally beginning to pick up, the characters doing interesting things, and I'm BORED. I can see the technique the author is using and it's just not interesting.

But they all gobbled it up fast and I know when I return the borrowed copy, I'm going to get quizzed on what I thought. Admitting that I couldn't wade through yet another book they adore is getting to be emotionally trying.

I'm considering the lie because I don't need more stress at work. At the moment, the personal relationships is about the only thing keeping me from walking off the job any given day.

AnonymousWriter · Nov 3, 2009

Lady Ice said:
University level study is fine- that's a proper in-depth study. But high-school level study of Shakespeare is only surface. People claiming to have 'read' Shakespeare bug me because it's normally in a bid to sound intellectual ('read' in brackets means 'read, understood, and have my own ideas on it'). If you've done it at school, say that

For high school exams, we have to know R+J in-depth. We need to know what happens in every scene, each character's motivations, conflicts, tone, theme, mood and write a critical analyis essay on it. We have no notes, no book etc. We need to back it up with evidence (lots of quotes learned by heart).

I'd say we study it in enough depth to say that we've read it.

LuckyH · Nov 3, 2009

I don’t think I’ve bragged about having read a book when I hadn’t, but there are occasions when I didn’t read all of it. I can’t think of an immediate example, but I will speed read at times and even skip the odd page if I get bored.

If I see a page, or even more, containing just one paragraph, I’ll turn them and I don’t care who the author is.

Cyia · Nov 3, 2009

If you've opened the book and scanned the words with your eyes, you've read it. Period.

Dicentra P · Nov 3, 2009

AnonymousWriter said:
For high school exams, we have to know R+J in-depth. We need to know what happens in every scene, each character's motivations, conflicts, tone, theme, mood and write a critical analyis essay on it. We have no notes, no book etc. We need to back it up with evidence (lots of quotes learned by heart).

I'd say we study it in enough depth to say that we've read it.

I think LadyIce has a different experience of high school English than you or I had.

timewaster · Nov 3, 2009

Lady Ice said:
I'm sure we're all guilty of one of the following:

- Pretended to have read a book a friend lent you so you don't hurt their feelings but really you were too busy/didn't like it.

- Counted a book amongst the classics you've read when in fact you only managed to get halfway through.

- Given opinions on books you haven't read based on the general consensus amongst your mates/the press/your elite social circle.

- Name-dropped some books in order to look intelligent

- Claimed to have read a book when you've only watched the movie.

- Counted Shakespeare plays you studied at high school as part of your 'Shakespeare reading'.

er..no.

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