When your mood has changed, how do you get it back?

Okay, first.
It sounds like you're going through different trauma than before.
Getting through losing a baby without losing your writing means you were then able to deal with that grief. It does not mean you will now be able to deal with the current troubles without pause in writing.

I'm guessing you need time to process. You probably need time to work on your marriage, re-assess where you are and what you want in that regard and what you want/hope for/worry about from your spouse. That's gonna take up brain time!

For context/comparison, I certainly can't write at all when I'm dealing with relationship trouble (not only marriage but also family relationships and friend relationships), but I can write through unambiguous grief and anger; in fact, writing often helps me there. I can write more easily through health problems that leave me with barely any oxygen than I can through Looming Issues. Those just take attention.

Second, it's maybe just slightly possible that you don't wanna deal with happy shiny romance stories while you're having relationship trouble At which point the mood will probably come back in time, and meanwhile why not write something else? There's no grand jury saying you have to write the romances and not the sci-fi, after all

Also. Reading is a great way to recharge batteries.

If you've only lost the mood for less than a month, while dealing with real identity-challenging stuff, I wouldn't worry. Why not give yourself a couple weeks' break and read anything you want without guilt? Then, if it's still a problem -- that is, if you can't write 'em and you really want to still -- have you tried music? I love picking appropriate music & playing it while I imagine characters or scenes, and it helps me keep my mood (and therefore my voice) consistent through a story.

I lost it for a long time, and now it seems to be back. Just maintain your hope and try to deal with the stuff in your life. Once it all normalizes, it will come back.

I've been through nothing anywhere as serious as what you've been through but I can say that at times I will lose a mood for so long that I think it'll never come back...but it usually does, even if only briefly and much much later.

Don't panic too much just yet. It could return. Even if it takes years.

First of all, I'm so sorry for all you're going through.
I've also been through some terrible times these last few years and I know my mood has changed, and my writing along with it, but I think our writing should grow and change and hopefully deepen as we go through life. At the time I wrote my novel, The Fiction Class, I was dealing with the loss of my mother and I think writing that novel helped heal me.
All of which is to say, that you may not get that exact mood back, but hopefully you'll get back something new and special. Take care.

Lovelyv01 said:

Shweta: I've written when relationships are on the downside, even when my marriage was going through things. Then again, I wasn't about to pack up and divorce either. Music has always helped, but not as of the late.
Susan Breen: Thanks so much. I'm actually enjoying writing my new YA. I guess it would fall in the Sci-Fi Romance category. Weird that I haven't counted all things romance out, just the projects I was working on at first. Hmmm...

Click to expand...

Then it might just be that you need a break from things that bring back older headspaces or memories. I'd say that being about to pack up is different from just downsides. Hang in there. I'm with Susan on the idea that whatever you do, even if it's not the exact thing you originally planned, it'll be cool

Hang in there. At least you're still writing, and I do know the horrible feeling of worrying that there just might be nothing left up there to write about.

Write whatever the hell you want to write about. That's the way to keep the creative juices flowing. Or take a reading break, or a hobby break. I get more quilts done when I'm in a "between stories" phase, that's for sure!

Good luck in all.

--Q