Comedy Cabaret I: Awaiting Mac's Ax
- Thread starter Soccer Mom
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Come right in, Lady Jay--here you are, on the....huh, that's funny....
***moves Jaycinth from Do Not Admit to B, then from B to A List***
***moves Jaycinth from Do Not Admit to B, then from B to A List***
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brown-noser!Meerkat!
Psstt... you weren't around at the time. You know I think you're sweet.
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Put some mustard on those words, ToT, for you are about to eat them.Morning, Cabbies!
Along with this slice of humble pie, freshly baked in the oven of shame for 17 minutes on gas mark Egg on your face.
It's afternoon.
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Yeah, well, it's morning here. It's always important to stay in your time zone.Put some mustard on those words, ToT, for you are about to eat them.
Along with this slice of humble pie, freshly baked in the oven of shame for 17 minutes on gas mark Egg on your face.
It's afternoon.
Enjoys (2) Special K waffles, organic blueberries and Activia.
- Joined
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- Joined
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Inky's Birthday Surprise
Inky decides to have a facelift for her 40th birthday.
She spends $5,000 and feels pretty good about the results. On her way home, she stops at a news stand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving she turns to the person in line behind her and says, "I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?"
"About 22," replies Meerkat. "Nope! I'm exactly 40," Inky says happily.
A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter girl the very same question. TrainOfThought replies, "I guess about 26." Inky squeals, "Nope I'm 40."
Now Inky’s feeling really good about herself. She stops in a drug store on her way down the street. She goes up to the counter to get some mints and asks the clerk this burning question.
Bmwhtly responds, "Oh, I'd say 25?" Again Inky proudly responds, "I am 40, but thank you."
While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting next to her the same question. Cray replies, "Lady, my eye sight is going. Although, when I was young, there was a sure way to tell how old a woman was.
“It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra. Then, and only then can I tell you EXACTLY how old you are."
Inky and Cray wait in silence on the empty street until curiosity gets the best of her.
She finally blurts out, "What the hell, go ahead."
Cray slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each breast; he pushes her breasts together; he rubs them against each other.
After a couple of minutes of this, Inky blurts, "Okay, okay...How old am I?"
Cray completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and with a sly smile says. "Madam, you are 40."
Stunned and amazed, Inky says, "That was incredible, how could you tell?"
Cray replies, "promise you won't get mad?"
"I promise! I won't!"
wait for it...
"I was behind you in line at McDonald's."
Inky decides to have a facelift for her 40th birthday.
She spends $5,000 and feels pretty good about the results. On her way home, she stops at a news stand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving she turns to the person in line behind her and says, "I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?"
"About 22," replies Meerkat. "Nope! I'm exactly 40," Inky says happily.
A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter girl the very same question. TrainOfThought replies, "I guess about 26." Inky squeals, "Nope I'm 40."
Now Inky’s feeling really good about herself. She stops in a drug store on her way down the street. She goes up to the counter to get some mints and asks the clerk this burning question.
Bmwhtly responds, "Oh, I'd say 25?" Again Inky proudly responds, "I am 40, but thank you."
While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting next to her the same question. Cray replies, "Lady, my eye sight is going. Although, when I was young, there was a sure way to tell how old a woman was.
“It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra. Then, and only then can I tell you EXACTLY how old you are."
Inky and Cray wait in silence on the empty street until curiosity gets the best of her.
She finally blurts out, "What the hell, go ahead."
Cray slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each breast; he pushes her breasts together; he rubs them against each other.
After a couple of minutes of this, Inky blurts, "Okay, okay...How old am I?"
Cray completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and with a sly smile says. "Madam, you are 40."
Stunned and amazed, Inky says, "That was incredible, how could you tell?"
Cray replies, "promise you won't get mad?"
"I promise! I won't!"
wait for it...
"I was behind you in line at McDonald's."
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Nor is Inky likely to need a face lift.
(that would be a CYA attempt, please let it work)
I'd like my boobs lifted to my neck so that, by the time I'm 80, they'll be right where they are now.
I've a real fear of tube-sock boobs.
Just sayin'.
As for 40...eh-eh. Come this Friday...er...don't take that outa context...I'll be 44.
So we're splurging & heading on over to the Baskin Robins where I'll buy a pint of mint & chocolate chip...they have the green kind...I HATE white mint & chip...the green makes it taste better.
Okay, so it's all in my head--that's what HE said--but it works for me--that's what SHE said.
Yes, simplistic gift, but I spent oodles for the kids, taking them to Scotland this summer, school clothes shopping in Germany, and then Christmas...ask Cray...mi' girls are a wee bit spoiled.
Anyhoo...actually making progress on WIP...but read Leuk's post...as usual, you loons make me laugh...group hug, buddies--Cray? Group hug does NOT include your twanger. Put that damnable thing away, would ye'?
Sheesh.
He's forever pulling that thing out. His pee-pee man is like a bloody jack-in-the-box!
I've a real fear of tube-sock boobs.
Just sayin'.
As for 40...eh-eh. Come this Friday...er...don't take that outa context...I'll be 44.
So we're splurging & heading on over to the Baskin Robins where I'll buy a pint of mint & chocolate chip...they have the green kind...I HATE white mint & chip...the green makes it taste better.
Okay, so it's all in my head--that's what HE said--but it works for me--that's what SHE said.
Yes, simplistic gift, but I spent oodles for the kids, taking them to Scotland this summer, school clothes shopping in Germany, and then Christmas...ask Cray...mi' girls are a wee bit spoiled.
Anyhoo...actually making progress on WIP...but read Leuk's post...as usual, you loons make me laugh...group hug, buddies--Cray? Group hug does NOT include your twanger. Put that damnable thing away, would ye'?
Sheesh.
He's forever pulling that thing out. His pee-pee man is like a bloody jack-in-the-box!
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