Lords of the Prance

PixelFish · May 4, 2005

Cassandra Claire just mentioned the Lymond chronicles in one of her recent journal entries about literary influences, and I went to library, quite dutifully, to look 'em up, and they had ALL of them but the first. (I wasn't sure if they were the sort of books that required being read in order, but since she'd specifically mentioned something in book one, I've been waiting for that one to come in.)

DreamWeaver · May 5, 2005

James D. Macdonald said:
William Dunbar, Lament for the Makers

From www.answers.com, "Dunbar is notable for the liveliness of his verse, his virtuosity in metrical form, his variety of mood, and his caustic satire."

What's not to like? I'm going to have to check this poet out. Thanks to all who brought this up, especially HapiSofi for the original post.

Kris

Deleted member 42 · May 5, 2005

I read the Lymond Chronicles out of order, and so I know it's best not to. Especially since they can be slow starting, and the second book is generally considered the hardest to get into.

Deleted member 42 · May 5, 2005

DreamWeaver said:
From www.answers.com, "Dunbar is notable for the liveliness of his verse, his virtuosity in metrical form, his variety of mood, and his caustic satire."

What's not to like? I'm going to have to check this poet out. Thanks to all who brought this up, especially HapiSofi for the original post.

Kris

He can be hard to find; there's a chunk that outside of publication in the Bannatyne series hasn't been properly edited. Dunbar is best known as the first citation for f u c k in the OED, but I'm especially fond of his Twa merrit wimmin and the widow, and his migraine poem My heid did yake

PixelFish · May 5, 2005

Medievalist said:
He can be hard to find; there's a chunk that outside of publication in the Bannatyne series hasn't been properly edited. Dunbar is best known as the first citation for f u c k in the OED, but I'm especially fond of his Twa merrit wimmin and the widow, and his migraine poem My heid did yake

You have to respect the migraine poem. I myself have a sneeze haiku, entitled Haiku! (You have to say it like you are sneezing.)

A small wind blows south
Little green goobers flying
Get me a Kleenex!

Speaking of Haiku....

I read my contract
PA author smugly signs
A year later, cries.

Brick-and-mortar stores
I plead with the manager
Oh, please, stock my books.

Purple ponies and
Elven vampires, oh, won't you
Sip my Travis Tea.

Sher2 · May 5, 2005

PixelFish said:
Purple ponies and
Elven vampires, oh, won't you
Sip my Travis Tea.

If I had a prize to give you, I would, because that is absolutely priceless. :Clap:

DreamWeaver · May 5, 2005

PixelFish said:
Purple ponies and
Elven vampires, oh, won't you
Sip my Travis Tea.

I don't know, I may have to abdicate and give you my newly received, bright shiny Haiku Crown for that one! Excellent.

Loved the sneezy one, too.

Kris
Former holder of the Haiku Crown

CaoPaux · May 5, 2005

Mourn effort wasted
Here’s my book, on no one’s shelf
It remains unread.

DreamWeaver · May 5, 2005

CaoPaux said:
Mourn effort wasted
Here’s my book, on no one’s shelf
It remains unread.

Another good one! PA does seem to make an inspiring subject. Well, they had to be good at something.

Kris

PixelFish · May 5, 2005

DreamWeaver said:
I don't know, I may have to abdicate and give you my newly received, bright shiny Haiku Crown for that one! Excellent.

Loved the sneezy one, too.

Kris
Former holder of the Haiku Crown

Ooooo....the haiku crown....
I accept humbly with thanks
and bow my head too.

....thanks Kris, and Sher....

DreamWeaver · May 5, 2005

Medievalist said:
...and his migraine poem My heid did yake

Interesting how that comes across loud and clear with no interpretation.

Kris

Dawno · May 5, 2005

In honor of all the new members who've recently joined AW from You Know Where...

Coming to AW (loosely hummed to the tune of Neil Diamond's "Coming to America")

Why?
We've been writing but why?
We’ve got a book
But it’s not in stores

Seen
Oh, our books should be seen
On bookshelves long
We hang on to the dream

From those boards and from their blogs
They're coming to AW
Never looking back again
They're coming to AW

Brick and Mortar’s near or far
Oh, we've tried ev’ry marketing scheme
To be turned away
To be turned away

Home, to a new and friendly face
Writers helping all over the place
No letters about your tone
No letters about your tone

Everywhere around the Web
They're coming to AW
Here’s a place they’ll find respect
They're coming to AW

Seven years they have your rights
Just come to AW
Jamie Farr’s STILL “Up In Lights”
Please come to AW

They're coming to AW
They're coming to AW
They're coming to AW
They're coming to AW
Today, today, today, today, today

HapiSofi · May 6, 2005

Dunbar

PixelFish: What was that thing I wrote? As I said to my Significant Other next morning, "It's mostly an amusement for Jim Macdonald and Lisa Spangenberg." My own amusement was that right on schedule, Jim Macdonald and Lisa Spangenberg recognized it.

(My other amusement was noticing that right after reading it, Jim misspelled folks, a word I've never seen him fluff before, as folkes.)

If we ever meet in person and I'm not sober, I'll demonstrate that "Lament for the Makers" can be sung as a calypso.

HapiSofi · May 6, 2005

Medievalist said:
William Dunbar's Lament for the Makars; Dunbar was one of the sixteenth century Scottish poets, who followed Chaucer in general style, but wrote in Middle Scots. ...

Now, if I were really good -- that is, if I were Virge, or Jim, or Mike Ford, or otherwise in that league -- I could have adapted the verses mourning specific poets into references to real PA authors and titles.

mdmkay · May 6, 2005

I'm truely hoping that our efforts here at AW will put PA completely out of business. I'm so mad at those people I could spit fire. I've done everything I can think of to try and get my contracts terminated so I guess the next step is filing complaints with Atty Gen's of Maryland and Nebraska, BBB, and finding a lawyer that will take a pro bono case to try and get something done. They have had ALOT of complaints at the Atty Gen at Maryland. So I guess we just keep pounding at them until they cry quits. I couldn't believe the absolutly shoddy work they did on my second book. I almost cried.

Dawno · May 6, 2005

mdmkay said:
I'm truely hoping that our efforts here at AW will put PA completely out of business. I'm so mad at those people I could spit fire. I've done everything I can think of to try and get my contracts terminated so I guess the next step is filing complaints with Atty Gen's of Maryland and Nebraska, BBB, and finding a lawyer that will take a pro bono case to try and get something done. They have had ALOT of complaints at the Atty Gen at Maryland. So I guess we just keep pounding at them until they cry quits. I couldn't believe the absolutly shoddy work they did on my second book. I almost cried.

I believe your efforts will eventually pay off. Please accept a virtual hug and know we're behind you 100% I'm going to try and write every day in my blog and say something about PA in each post until they fold their tents. You and your struggle deserve it and so much more!

PixelFish · May 6, 2005

HapiSofi said:
PixelFish: What was that thing I wrote? As I said to my Significant Other next morning, "It's mostly an amusement for Jim Macdonald and Lisa Spangenberg." My own amusement was that right on schedule, Jim Macdonald and Lisa Spangenberg recognized it.

(My other amusement was noticing that right after reading it, Jim misspelled folks, a word I've never seen him fluff before, as folkes.)

If we ever meet in person and I'm not sober, I'll demonstrate that "Lament for the Makers" can be sung as a calypso.

If we ever meet in person, I promise to get you nice and not-sober, just so I can see "Lament for the Makers" as a calypso. (Maybe your SO can provide percussion or backup.)

James D. Macdonald · May 6, 2005

HapiSofi said:
(My other amusement was noticing that right after reading it, Jim misspelled folks, a word I've never seen him fluff before, as folkes.)

Quite right. Should have spelt it fulkis.

(You have no idea how close I came to rendering my Merry Play of Last Weekend's Flamewar (in the Dead Man Posting thread) in rhymed iambic pentameter.)

PixelFish · May 6, 2005

James D. Macdonald said:
Quite right. Should have spelt it fulkis.

(You have no idea how close I came to rendering my Merry Play of Last Weekend's Flamewar (in the Dead Man Posting thread) in rhymed iambic pentameter.)

Actually, you could leave it as is, and interject the admonitions of the AW crew in rhymed iambic pentameter. Then you'd have the prose-versus-rhymed meter structure going on, just like Willie S. Beatrice and Benedict bantering in metered speech, while Dogberry goes on in prose.

Deleted member 42 · May 6, 2005

HapiSofi said:
PixelFish: What was that thing I wrote? As I said to my Significant Other next morning, "It's mostly an amusement for Jim Macdonald and Lisa Spangenberg." My own amusement was that right on schedule, Jim Macdonald and Lisa Spangenberg recognized it.

I think we were probably posting at the same time; I posted the text, then noticed that was missing a line and had to go find it.

(My other amusement was noticing that right after reading it, Jim misspelled folks, a word I've never seen him fluff before, as folkes.)

See, that's what happens when you read a lot of Middle English/Scots; it destroys your ability to spell. Or that's my current excuse . . .

If we ever meet in person and I'm not sober, I'll demonstrate that "Lament for the Makers" can be sung as a calypso.

Ha! I shall take you up on that.

M. Story · May 10, 2005

Checks for Our Authors

CHECKS FOR OUR AUTHORS
(Sung to Beer for my Horses - Toby Keith)
Well, a man come on the six o'clock news,
Said author's have been robbed,
authors have been abused.
A publisher screwed up a writer's dreams,
And left him a scar,
Somebody thought they'd get away,
But they didn't get too far, yeah,
They didn't get too far.

Grandpappy told my Pappy,
"Back in my day, son
PA'd have to answer
for the wicked that he done,
"Take all the rope in Texas,
Find a tall oak tree, round up all of them bad boys
Hang them high in this tree,
For all the people to see.

[chorus]
Justice is the one thing you should always find,
You got to gather all your authors,
You got to draw a hard line,
When the gun smoke settles,
we'll sing a victory tune.
We'll all meet back at the A.W. saloon.
We'll raise up our glasses against evil forces
Singing, "Bookstores for our books, and checks for our authors."

We've got too many publishers doing dirty deeds,
Too much corruption and crime in the streets.
It's time the long arm of the law took a few more to the pound,
Send 'em all to the pokey where they settle 'em down.
You can bet they'll settle 'em down, cause...

Justice is the one thing you should always find,
You got to gather all your authors,
You got to draw a hard line,
When the gun smoke settles,
we'll sing a victory tune.
We'll all meet back at the A.W. saloon.
We'll raise up our glasses against evil forces
Singing, "Bookstores for our books, and checks for our authors."
[repeat chorus]

Marlene

<Singin'

I shoulda been a cowgirl...>

Jeff · May 10, 2005

Marlene, I am no where near as good as you with this kind of thing, but you inspired me! Here goes...

(sung to the tune of Dead or Alive by Bon Jovi)

It's all the same, only the nicks have changed.
Every day, we see authors wasting away...
Another post, oh Infocenter that's so cold!
I'd drive all night, Just to smack them in the nose.

I'm an author, and PA scammed from me my rights
For the next seven years, all I can do is fight
I'm an author, a real book is what I wrote
but the joy of that is gone, 'cause PA has me by the throat.

Sometimes I write, sometimes its not for days.
I've got to schlep my butt, doing the job that is PAs.
Sometimes you tell the day by the bookstores that say no.
Then return to the PA boards and it's time to eat some crow.

I'm an author, and PA scammed from me my rights
For the next seven years, all I can do is fight
I'm an author, a real book is what I wrote
but the joy of that is gone, 'cause PA has me by the throat.

I've put up web sites, trying hard to sell my book
I beg and plead, but no one wants to look
I've been everywhere, being a pest if I must
But it's my publisher that no one wants to trust.

I'm an author, and PA scammed from me my rights
For the next seven years, all I can do is fight
I'm an author, a real book is what I wrote
but the joy of that is gone, 'cause PA has me by the throat.

DreamWeaver · May 10, 2005

Jeff said:
I'm an author, and PA scammed from me my rights
For the next seven years, all I can do is fight
I'm an author, a real book is what I wrote
but the joy of that is gone, 'cause PA has me by the throat.

You're giving PA a bad name. Good job!

Kris

Sher2 · May 11, 2005

(Bill Deal & The Rhondels - "I've Been Hurt")

I'VE BEEN PLUBLISHED

I've been plublished, plublished, plublished,
Yes, I've been plublished,
I've been plublished like I've never been plublished before,
Cause you lied, you lied to me,
Release me and leave me alone,
Cause I've been plublished,
PA, you lied,
PA, what happened, what happened,
What happened, what happened to the bookstore orders?
The edit? The price?
I got run out of Borders!
I've been plublished,
PA, you cheated, mistreated,
You cheated, cheated on me,
And you told me, you told me,
You told a whole lot of lies,
PA, what happened, what happened,
What happened, what happened ain't right,
Well, I saw my name on the spline,
And it wasn't bound real tight,
Pages curled up, cover faded,
Good God Almighty, you have to ask
Why I'm jaded?

M. Story · May 11, 2005

Jeff and Sherry, I enjoyed both of your songs!!! I'm still smiling. Here's a trophy for each of you--you are worthy!!!

There's not enough room to present trophies to the rest of the writers here, so I'm going to lock them in my own trophy case and say they're mine, MINE, mine!!! Who will know they aren't?

Marlene

workin' on another PA slamsong...as sung by Willie M****rs
"...for all the authors I've screwed before...that traveled in and out my door...I'm glad they came along, I dedicate this song, to all the authors I've screwed beforrrreee,

Lords of the Prance

Shakespearean Fool

Deleted member 42

Deleted member 42

Auroraless ExPAtriate

Shakespearean Fool

Mostly Harmless

Shakespearean Fool

Shakespearean Fool

Shiny!

Hagiographically Advantaged

Hagiographically Advantaged

Shiny!

Your Genial Uncle

Deleted member 42

Pollyanna with n attitude

Quixote without a cause

Shakespearean Fool

Auroraless ExPAtriate

Pollyanna with n attitude