Need a little help with characterisation

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TomoeMichieru

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Right....I'm writing a death scene.

The WIP is late 13th century Japan, and the character about to die is a woman who's to be married the next day to my samurai MC. She's samurai by birth, but was raised as a peasant, and was only exposed to samurai culture at the age of fourteen or so.

Anyway, my MC was fighting in the Battle of Kouan (the Mongol invasions) and he came back and told his betrothed how strong they were, especially their leader. She's very afraid of the Mongol leader (fictional insert, not any actual person) coming back to seek revenge on my MC (Michieru) for cutting off his arm.

Michieru's in Yedo attending to a few last-minute matters for the next day's ceremony, and he and Yaori (the woman) are living in a Shinto shrine as its caretakers. Whilst Michieru's gone, the Mongol leader shows up, demanding to know where Michieru is.

Here's the tricky part: How realistic would Yaori's offer to sleep with the Mongol leader in exchange for leaving them in peace be, given cultural factors of the time? I know such a thing is highly dishonourable to a samurai, but Yaori's not actually samurai and hasn't been trained in their ways.
 

Doogs

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I can't speak to the cultural aspects of 13th century Japan (cool period, BTW!), however...

The human instinct of self-preservation is a strong one, so it is plausible. I think it depends, you know, how much Yaori has to lose (well, beyond her life, which she obviously does). How much would she be willing to give to preserve not only her life but her life as she knows it?
 

wee

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Most women in very desperate situations understand that they possess a type of currency.

I think it is plausible, but I'm wondering how she could be certain he wouldn't use her & then do what he wanted anyway? Why would she trust him? Or worse, what if he then used what she had done to further punish the male MC, mentally torture him, take honor from him before he killed him? I guess that would be another subplot...
 

TomoeMichieru

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That is something - I've already got something written up with that. Michi never finds out until a looooong time later, in the order of eight centuries. He's killed and ends up going to Hell, where he hears from Charon about what Yaori did (she's sentenced to the Second Circle of Hell) and Michieru's brought back to life, whereupon he has a new desire for vengeance.
 

TomoeMichieru

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I should perhaps mention that Michi and the Mongol leader are ageless, the latter actually being a demon posing as a human.
 

wee

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Would that make him more sympathetic to the failings of a mere mortal woman?
 

TomoeMichieru

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At the time of Yaori's death, Michi doesn't know about his agelessness, but I haven't really put thought into that aspect of it...or do you mean about the demon bit? I don't think so, as neither of them at the time knew.
 
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lkp

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Have you read any medieval Japanese fiction? I think there is a quite a bit that has been translated. That would give you an idea at least of what kinds of cultural morays they could imagine transgressing then.

I feel like there is a definite answer to this question. I don't know what it is, but I think more research would turn it up.
 

job

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Y'know ... there's lots of side thoughts on this.

One thought --

The little scrap of membrane ... a sweaty body looking like any other sweaty body ...
peasant cultures tend to grittily realistic about sex. Yaori is not going to overestimate her value in this respect.

Yaori has to see herself as offering a body that is in some way unique. She's not just the two-thousandth scrap of membrane and ten -thousandth sweaty body for the Mongol leader. Yaori wouldn't expect just one more body to buy anything.

Her unique quality -- that she is intimately part of Michi's honor -- is paradoxically what she sacrifices to save Michi.

Once she has been used by the Mongol, Yaori can no longer have Michi. His honor would not allow him to accept "used goods" and her honor would not allow her to offer it.

So she is not just giving her body to the Mongol, she is giving up the possiblity of a relationship with Michi.

Just a thought, anyhow.
 

c.e.lawson

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I think it's interesting that she's sentenced to the second circle of Hell, when all she did was try to save her husband from this evil guy. Or is there something else you're not telling us?

Sounds like an interesting story.

I'm doing a little research for a short story set in Medieval Japan (I haven't chosen the exact year, though.) My situation's the opposite - a Samurai who kills his adulteress wife. If I find anything of possible use to you, I'll let you know.
 

TomoeMichieru

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Y'know ... there's lots of side thoughts on this.

One thought --

The little scrap of membrane ... a sweaty body looking like any other sweaty body ...
peasant cultures tend to grittily realistic about sex. Yaori is not going to overestimate her value in this respect.

Yaori has to see herself as offering a body that is in some way unique. She's not just the two-thousandth scrap of membrane and ten -thousandth sweaty body for the Mongol leader. Yaori wouldn't expect just one more body to buy anything.

Her unique quality -- that she is intimately part of Michi's honor -- is paradoxically what she sacrifices to save Michi.

Once she has been used by the Mongol, Yaori can no longer have Michi. His honor would not allow him to accept "used goods" and her honor would not allow her to offer it.

So she is not just giving her body to the Mongol, she is giving up the possiblity of a relationship with Michi.

Just a thought, anyhow.

...

*jaw drops*

Best. Idea. Evar.
 

wee

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That is a such a great idea... that by saving Michi, she sacrifices her own happiness.

Why does she get condemned to hell???

This is not even remotely 'my kind' of book that I would typically pick up, but the story is sounding more intriguing all the time.



wee
 

TomoeMichieru

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The reason she gets condemned to Hell is that 1) she was technically committing adultery and 2) there was a bit of desire on her end. She and Michi had never done anything sexual, y'know, due to him being away fighting all the time. Also, she wanted children (but that's an entirely different story - rather gruesome one right after this) She was thinking about that at the time the MG showed up, and he does look quite similar to Michi, so...

About the child thing, seeing as MG is actually a demon, he implanted his seed within Yaori. It grew inside her corpse, and....yeah. This child and Michi fight eventually, and is when Michi dies of blood loss to a slashed arm.
 

c.e.lawson

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Thanks for clarifying the hell thing. I had asked about that yesterday. I KNEW there was something you weren't telling us! :D Sounds like some good drama. (I have a weakness for that sort of drama, LOL.)

Good luck with your story.
 

TomoeMichieru

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Right: I've started the death scene. Yaori's about to attack the Mongol leader...

~
The summer night was full of song as crickets chirped in the trees outside Hitoma Shrine. Uketai Yaori, soon to be Tomoe Yaori no Michieru, sighed contentedly as the warm air flowed through the open paper shoji screens that covered the doors and windows, carrying with it the scent of the outer garden’s crysantheums.

It wasn’t only the tranquil mountain night that eased her nerves – it was the peace which had finally come after seven years of warfare. During these times, the hordes from the western mainland had dared to desecrate the Land of the Rising Sun. Michieru had travelled to the westernmost island and fought several battles against them.
He had barely escaped with his life, he had said, having fought their leader to a standstill and cutting off his arm. Yaori closed her eyes in nostalgia.

Oh, Michi… she thought, using her affectionate nickname for him. Please return soon… He had gone into Yedo earlier in the day to see that the last-minute preparations of their wedding were in place.

She stood, looking herself over in the mirror demurely – the blue kimono she wore clung to her hips, which had, due to getting proper nourishment, developed a little more in the summer since Michi had been away. He would likely approve. The two of them had not yet pillowed, having not had time, but Yaori was feeling the beginnings of womanly instincts within her. She rubbed a hand on her stomach and smiled longingly, as if there were a child already there.

The adjacent screen slid open, and Mariko, who was one of the shrinemaidens and Yaori’s closest friend, stepped through.

“Yaori? Is everything all right? Is there anything I can do for you to ease your worries?” she asked, leaning forward in concern.
Abruptly Yaori burst into tears, falling forward onto her knees and burying her head in her hands. The stoicism she felt she had been expected to hold suddenly had dissolved…

“I don’t know, I don’t know!” she wailed as she shook with suppressed sobs. “Every night…I worry whether Michi will come back whenever he goes out, whether or not he’ll encounter some challenger and be caught off his guard!” She stopped short, severely damning herself for allowing her emotions to show this clearly.

Mariko rushed over to Yaori, wrapping her arms about the other woman’s shoulders. “Come now Yaori – we both know Michi’s the strongest warrior in all the world, no one could defeat him so easily. He’ll be safe, just have patience. Here, I’ll bring you some tea.” She hugged Yaori more tightly for a moment, then released her and withdrew into the kitchen.

Several minutes later, as Yaori sat trying to dispel the mental images of Michi’s body lying amidst of a pool of blood, Mariko returned with a black laquered tray laden with two teacups and a pitcher of green tea. She poured the two of them cupfuls and they sat drinking in relative silence, but Yaori couldn’t stop rocking nervously to and fro. Mariko apparently sensed this.
“Do you want me to go out and look for him?” she asked quietly. “If it would ease your mind, I’ll take one of the monks and go searching.”

“Yes, thank you so much…” said Yaori, sipping her tea slowly. Her heart swelled in gratitude for Mariko – she knew the girl normally was very reclusive and didn’t like to venture out of the shrine’s walls, but that she would do so for her sake…

Mariko smiled faintly, releasing Yaori. “We’ll be back as soon as we find him,” she patted the elder woman’s shoulder and withdrew from the room. The door softly closed behind her. Yaori took several deep breaths to steady herself – a technique Michi had taught her in her early training those seven years ago…

“Now, Yaori,” the boy said, “the first thing to learn in kenjutsu is that you have to keep a firm balance on the ground.” Michi placed his hands on her hips and pressed down to cause her to sink slightly. She complied, but wobbled on her feet. The polished wood floor of the dojo creaked softly as she shifted her weight trying to stay upright – the stance Michi had had her take wasn’t one she was used to.
“Close your eyes and breathe – imagine two tendrils of chi extending down through your legs and rooting you to the Earth.”
After doing this, she felt her balance steady and her weight was focused lower than it had been. She also felt more at ease.


From behind her, the frame of the door splintered harshly with the snapping of wood and ripping of the oiled paper. Immediately she dashed to the far wall and retrieved one of the shrine’s sacred swords. She was out of practice, but it was certainly better to have it than nothing.
Unsure of what she expected to see, she turned slowly, unsheathing the sword and pointing it directly forward at arm’s length.

In the shattered remnants of the door loomed a tall silhouette – a man, obviously, but it certainly wasn’t Michi. Something about the shape of the right arm seemed a little out of place…
The figure casually broke off a section of the wall, stepping into the room. The dark fabric vest and pants he wore glinted a dull red, almost as if there were a hint of blood. What caused the woman’s resolve to nearly break wasn’t the eyes, though she did cringe a little at them – rather, it was the ‘arm’ that hung eerily from his right shoulder. It wasn’t even an arm, but an arm-like device made of metal, only with wicked claws and a chain at the end of it.
Yaori’s breath caught in her throat as she nearly dropped the sword in shock and grief – she knew exactly what had happened, drawing from what Michi had told her.
The gorge in her stomach fought to come up, and would have were it not for the hot lump of pain in her throat and chest. With a final gasp and tightening of her muscles, she found herself lunging at the intruder with a shrill scream, sword raised high. Her love…
 
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eodmatt

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Wow. I am unqualified by any means to answer the original question. But reading the passage above, I was right there in the room.
 
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