Stupid things non-writers say

shaldna said:

I actually, for the first time ever, had someone ask me if they could tell me their life story and I could write it for them, and then, get this, they would give me a couple of hundred quid for it.

This was in a room full of people.

There are only so many ways you can say 'i don't think that's a good idea' without sounding like a tool

Click to expand...

Potential responses:

• Thank you for the opportunity. Why don't we talk about it later? (At which point, if later ever happens (it often doesn't), you politely and privately explain reality.)
• I can get paid that for a magazine article/short story.
• Thank you, but my writing schedule/calendar is currently full.
• No.

I LOVE HoMoNoNo

Tell him there's no real market for memoirs. Really.

I think we all know how scarletpeaches would respond to that one.

I get the feeling whenever anyone asks me about writing that they think it's super easy to get published.
When I start explaining things in detail, this total look of 'huh?' washes over them. They then change the conversation.

brainstorm77 said:

I get the feeling whenever anyone asks me about writing that they think it's super easy to get published.
When I start explaining things in detail, this total look of 'huh?' washes over them. They then change the conversation.

Click to expand...

Oh god, I know that feeling.

This topic still impresses me. I applaud HoMoNoNo.

Bartholomew said:

"It's about a scientist trying to stop her magical nuke from ripping open a gateway into hell."

Click to expand...

I'm saying this the next time someone asks me what my book is about.

...actually...I think that'd make a fabulous book.

I know this has already been said before but I hate this:
"What do you write?"
"Paranormal Romance"
"What's that?"
"Y'know, vampires and-"
"Oh, like Twilight?"
"NO!!!!!"

I miss the good old days: "Oh, like Anne Rice?"
"I wish."

brainstorm77 said:

I get the feeling whenever anyone asks me about writing that they think it's super easy to get published.
When I start explaining things in detail, this total look of 'huh?' washes over them. They then change the conversation.

Click to expand...

Not only that, but a lot of non-writers -- the ones I've met anyway -- tell writers to just self-publish or they're going to spend a lot of money getting published by a top publishing house.

Annarkie said:

I know this has already been said before but I hate this:
"What do you write?"
"Paranormal Romance"
"What's that?"
"Y'know, vampires and-"
"Oh, like Twilight?"
"NO!!!!!"

I miss the good old days: "Oh, like Anne Rice?"
"I wish."

Click to expand...

I know the feeling!

You know what's great about this thread? It's so long you can actually follow the careers of some of the people in it. It's inspiring to see the published novels of people who were once being told they'd never be published.

I can't think of anything stupid anyone's said to me that hasn't already been mentioned. Although, for a while my father was absolutely convinced I should ghost write memoirs, something I had no interest in.

But I'm so very very lucky with the support my parents have both given me over the years.
Dad used to brag about my being a writer, even when I was still at high school. I can remember him saying to one of his friends something along the lines of
"Yep she writes stories. I know, can you imagine, me, producing a fiction writer?? ...Although I did used to read a lot of comic books."

Dad didn't read a lot of fiction, but he loved non-fiction and was one of the smartest men I've ever known. When I finished my first novel (a rather torrid - and terrible - romance) he was very keen to read it. I didn't let him, because it really was awful, but I wish he had lived long enough to read some of the stuff I'm doing now.

And mum, well, she recently offered to supplement my rent so I could get a studio flat rather than group share while I study for my masters in creative writing (I didn't accept, group share is more than ok).
She couldn't be more proud that I got into this program and will sit and listen patiently whenever I explain what's currently going on in a story... even though it's not always her cup of tea genre wise. And she reads it all. She's too nice about the writing though!
I love my parents.
You guys can borrow... if you promise to return them

lastlittlebird said:

I love my parents.
You guys can borrow... if you promise to return them

Click to expand...

This is the sweetest thing I have read in a long time. I miss mine even though they have been gone for many years. Your parents are as lucky as you are.



..

Kate Thornton said:

This is the sweetest thing I have read in a long time. I miss mine even though they have been gone for many years. Your parents are as lucky as you are.

..

Click to expand...

Yep, the sweetest thing, took away the words I was going to type

shaldna said:

I actually, for the first time ever, had someone ask me if they could tell me their life story and I could write it for them, and then, get this, they would give me a couple of hundred quid for it.

Click to expand...

Practice, because you may have to say it again.

"That comes to about 25P an hour. How about a couple of hundred thousand? It's a deal."

Callista Melaney said:

Most annoying for me is from people who say they are writers but aren't. Has anybody encountered a person who decides to write a book on a whim, and after two pages into the MS is talking about publishing, making money, movies, etc? UGH

Click to expand...

Hey, now. I'm two pages into my high fantasy octadekology, and that's plenty soon enough to think about a movie deal. There's so much work, and it's better if I start now, yaknow?

I have actually been asked 'when's the movie coming out'

"Hey, smcc360, you like those Jack Reacher books that Lee Child writes, and they sell pretty well. Why don't you just write a Jack Reacher book?"

"I can't. That would be copyright infringement."

"So split the profits with them, seventy-thirty. You'll still be making out."

smcc360 said:

"Hey, smcc360, you like those Jack Reacher books that Lee Child writes, and they sell pretty well. Why don't you just write a Jack Reacher book?"

"I can't. That would be copyright infringement."

"So split the profits with them, seventy-thirty. You'll still be making out."

Click to expand...

OMG that's too funny! I met Lee Child last year at Left Coast Crime and you couldn't ask for a more charming guy. But I'm sure he'd not be interested. Seventy-thirty!!!!! LOL!!!


..

Annarkie said:

I know this has already been said before but I hate this:
"What do you write?"
"Paranormal Romance"
"What's that?"
"Y'know, vampires and-"
"Oh, like Twilight?"
"NO!!!!!"

I miss the good old days: "Oh, like Anne Rice?"
"I wish."

Click to expand...

Hell, I've talked to people who don't even wait for a genre before they come up with:

"Oh, you write books? Like Stephenie Meyer?"

or

"Oh, you write books? Like J. K. Rowling?"

or

"Oh, you write books? Like Dan Brown?"

One smiles and says yes, because they do write books, after all. Very successful books. Perhaps repetition will make the simile come true.

It doesn't bug me so much when they say dumb things as long as they're not being intentionally nasty.

i always have a chuckle when someone else calls themselves a writer and i imagin 'someone like me' and get the total opposit;

'so what's your day job' i ask.

'i'm a writer by preference' my mind does backflips - really!

'sounds great, what are you working on, if you don't mind me asking?' i want to yell 'me too!' but i play it cool.

'Oh i'm not, i only really write when the local paper asks me to. i'm not into fiction or resurch or freelance crap.'

and my bubble has burst.

And i must have a lisp or something because usually when i say i'm a writer the reaction i get is 'a rider?'

TrainofThought said:

I try to stay away from writing topics, but a month ago my aunt asked the title of my book. I told her the title with others sitting around and she said, along with another, “What? I don’t know that word. I don’t like the title, so you need to change it.” Being the smart a$$ I am I responded, “I don’t care whether you like it or not. If you don’t know the word, you definitely aren’t part of my target audience.” She shut up, we moved onto another topic and I doubt we will be discussing my book again.

Click to expand...

Lol. Spot-on!

This one is not so much what people have said about me being a writer, rather what they think of me after reading my adventure/fantasy. “I loved your manuscript Francis, I just could not put it down.” And then later; Francis, you know, you kind of scare me now, the way your wrote about all that killing and torture. In no time at all half the staff at my work place thought I was suddenly capable such, just because it was in my book; which was about an evil sorceress and two wars! They were a bunch of dumb asses, for sure. Some day I’ll have to go back and take them all out.

Conversation with a friend in the middle of my history class.

friend: "I'm trying to help [friend] get published. Do you know anything about publishing?"
me: *explains limited knowledge of publishing industry, starting with query letters and agents*
friend: "... Can YOU be my agent?"
me: *headdesk*

I'm a sophomore in high school. I don't think anyone in publishing would take me seriously acting as an agent...

~Amber~

Get them to send you a query and then reply with a form rejection.