Comedy Cabaret I: Awaiting Mac's Ax

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Rolling Thunder

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Yep. A personal insurance claim consultant hired to protect your rights is the only way to go. I had one and it pissed off my insurance company, too. My insurance agent couldn't "talk" to me directly because I was now considered an antagonist by the company.

Took'em for every penny I could and never shed a tear about it.
 
Jaycinth

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Rolling Thunder said:
Yep. A personal insurance claim consultant hired to protect your rights is the only way to go. I had one and it pissed off my insurance company, too. My insurance agent couldn't "talk" to me directly because I was now considered an antagonist by the company.

Took'em for every penny I could and never shed a tear about it.
Click to expand...

YAP!!!!

That's exactly what Brenda called them. Well she's the property expert so she'll guide the unfortunate member of my reality based group through the process, I hope.


EGAD RT, did we just combine to dispense useful advice in a non-conforming context?



...where mah likker at?
 
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Jaycinth

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Rolling Thunder said:
Um...when do you plan to be... off line, Jay?
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Well, it is now 8:33 soon to be 8:34.

I have an appointment with Roland at 9. I need to finish what I started, you see.

That should put me in the mood to 'cuddle' my Haggie woogums.

But, alas, I DID promise my friend I'd show her how to sign up for AW, so I'll be over at her office. (Ok, so she works from home, that doesn't preclude having an office. It just means she can have Mr. Daniels and Mr. Beam in attendence 24/7/365.)

So, in answer,

I expect to be back around three, Mr. T.


.....try to keep a lid on it.
 
cray

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mac walked into the mod room and looked over at rt and said, "i'm not supposed to let super-mod anymore since you failed math, but we need you in there.”

”rt, what i have to do is ask you a math question, and if you get it right, you can mod again.”

mac , "okay, now concentrate hard and tell me the answer to this. what is two plus two?"

rt thought for a moment and then he answered, "4?"

"did you say 4?" mac exclaimed, excited that he got it right.


at that, all the other mods began screaming, "come on mac, give him another chance!"
 
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cray

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*walks up on stage. chugs beer. grabs mic*

*cough*

ahem. you know there is group of people are traveling cross-aw on a bus, eh? rt, the driver, had just turned onto the interforum highway when a soccer mom came up to him and said, "please stop the bus, there's a man back there who's bothering me."

the driver said he will stop at the very next exit but before he got there, another woman came up and made the same complaint. when rt was finally able to stop, he walked to the rear of the bus and saw a little old baldheaded man down on his hands and knees looking under the seats. rt said, "haggis, what seems to be the problem?"

"i lost my toupee and i'm looking for it. i thought i'd found it several times but mine parts on the side."
 
WerenCole

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What are the two sexiest animals on the farm?


Answer: Brown chicken, brown cow.


Why? Say them together real fast like: brown chicken brown cow brown chicken brown cow. . . .


Sounds like the music to bad porn, yes?
 
cray

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*takes weren's drink away from him and gives it to ben*
 
WerenCole

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Ahhh. . . . what'd you do that for. . . you tasty cray fish like thing you. . . I will eat you with cajun seasoning and butter, damnit.
 
Haggis

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cray said:
*walks up on stage. chugs beer. grabs mic*

*cough*

ahem. you know there is group of people are traveling cross-aw on a bus, eh? rt, the driver, had just turned onto the interforum highway when a soccer mom came up to him and said, "please stop the bus, there's a man back there who's bothering me."

the driver said he will stop at the very next exit but before he got there, another woman came up and made the same complaint. when rt was finally able to stop, he walked to the rear of the bus and saw a little old baldheaded man down on his hands and knees looking under the seats. rt said, "haggis, what seems to be the problem?"

"i lost my toupee and i'm looking for it. i thought i'd found it several times but mine parts on the side."
Click to expand...

You'r'e pushing it, battery.
 
cray

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Haggis said:
You'r'e pushing it, battery.
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i had a linguistics professor who said that it's man's ability to use language that makes him the dominant species on the planet.
true true.

but i think there's one other thing that separates us from animals. we aren't afraid of vaccuum cleaners.







*walks off stage singing,.....
brown chicken brown cow brown chicken brown cow. . . .*
 
Haggis

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119197856_fbc73ae2c7.jpg
 
cray

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*stumbles back on stage. turns on mic*




haggis and rt both applied for job of super-mod, yanno.

mac said, "boys, you need to take a test before you can get this job."

so they took the test and the next day they came back to see who mac chose to be super-mod. "well," she said, "both of you got the same score except i'm going to choose rt."

haggis complained, "don't you think that's prejudice or something?"

"well," mac said, "let me tell you what happened. both of your papers were right all the way through until the last question came up, and rt answered 'i don't know,' and then when i looked at your paper, haggis, you answered, 'me either'.





*runs down the ramp and out into the alley*
*hops on segway and speeds off*
 
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Inky

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Bmwhtly said:
How can you tell if it's time to wash the dishes, do the laundry and clean your house?

Look in your undercrackers. If there's a penis there, it's not time.
Click to expand...
How can you tell if it's time to take out the trash, check the car fluids, or give your spouse a piece of ass?
Check your undercrackers. If there's a vagina, it's not time.


check mate
 
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