I took to heart the many comments which reminded me that women (and men) are a various lot, and so it isn't useful to look for a general answer to the question of what makes a man sexy to women.
So I asked three women I knew would tell me what made a man sexy to them. They are of varied ages and socioeconomic status but white (if Jewish is accounted white). Each I've known for years, even decades. None are shy about saying what they think, even their most unpopular and personal thoughts (at least with me). Here are some of their comments paraphrased which I will use as the basis of my character's opinions.
The first thing I notice is if he finds me attractive. He looks at my boobs and butt but not so obviously as to be creepy. I like if he comments on my hair and outfit.
Then I notice if he listens. If I tell him something he remembers what I said. He engages with my ideas, agreeing with some and disagreeing with others. I like self-confidence but not arrogance. A sense of humor is a big positive. He may not be able to tell a joke but he does finds amusing a lot of the ironies of everyday life.
Physically I prefer taller men with some muscles but I hate superfit guys with bulging muscles. I want men who obsess about my body not theirs. A nice voice, a regular masculine face are nice but are sort of necessities, not something that makes me want to have sex. What gets me going are his hands. Strong, big, well-cared for. Deft is key. If he plays the piano I get all wet. I imagine those fingers working on me. Last, not too much facial hair. I want those lips free to work on me, not gotten lost in fur.
For long term relationships I want the ability to love and practical qualities like a steady job. But for a man to turn me on these are the qualities they must have.
