Manuscript Title: The Scepter and the Distaff
Manuscript Genre: Historical fiction (adult)
Manuscript Word Count: 100k
Is your manuscript finished?: Y
Any trigger warnings? Some adult content (sexual + violence + the mention of sexual assault), and based on the time period, it's almost impossible to avoid religious + ethnic conflicts that would have historically been present. (I try to handle these sensitively, but again, there's no real way to completely avoid them without making things wildly anachronistic.)
Hook:
In two weeks, Princess Isabel of Castile will be wed or - if fortune favors her - dead. Fortune does favor her - her prospective groom mysteriously dies on the way to their wedding. However, the end of the engagement resumes the civil war between her two brothers. It also causes Isabel to realize that if she's to have any say in her future, or the future of her country, she will need political power.
The Scepter and the Distaff follows the life of Isabel of Castile from her aborted engagement to Pedro Giron to the birth of her first son, Juan, in 15th century Spain.
First 750 words:
In a week, Isabel would be wed or, if fortune favored her, dead. She had learned of her impending nuptials earlier in the day when her brother, the king, called her for an audience. She met him in the alcazar’s great hall. There Enrique lounged on silken pillows before the court. He was dressed in Moorish fashion, in brocade pajama pants that hung from his knobby, stick like legs. Over them he wore an enormous shirt that sagged off his narrow shoulders. His hat, with its foppish feather, hung forlornly over his flat nose. It had never healed correctly after a break.
About him the court buzzed. Servants wearing the discarded castoffs of their betters carried trays of wine. Both they and the nobles they served were a motley troop. Some dressed in Castilian style – heavy tunics and close fitting hose – while others wore the lighter silks favored by the Moors. Despite the style, none could mistake it for anything but a Christian court. Women mingled freely with men, talking and laughing with them as equals. They were not imprisoned in a gilded cell, the way they would be in a Moorish town. Isabel approved of this. Yet Isabel frowned at how the women’s necklines plunged immodestly low and the way the queen’s ladies exaggerated the sway of their hips with each toss of their bell-shaped skirts. Good Christian women should be modest; yet modesty – like most virtues – was severely lacking at the Castilian court.
Beside the king stood the only hint of sobriety, other than Isabel herself. For bending low over his arm was a dark robed figure, his black velvet coat glittering with heavy golden chains. It was Juan Pacheco, the Marquise of Villena. Isabel didn’t know what to think of him being there. Several months ago, he’d led a rebellion against the king, purportedly in support of her younger brother, Alfonso. If he truly believed in Alfonso’s cause, he ought to be guiding him, not sitting next to her older brother with their heads bowed low together as though they were dear friends. Yet he’d returned and his appearance made the hairs on the back of Isabel’s neck bristle.
King Enrique patted the cushion beside him and told Isabel to sit. Isabel tucked her skirts about her and knelt where he'd gestured, her feet pressed beneath her thighs as though she were praying. Beside her, a woman whose breasts were hanging out of her bodice giggled. “You won’t be so modest soon!”
Isabel ignored her, while Enrique waved a servant over to pour Isabel a glass of wine. She let it sit untouched while Enrique took a generous drink of his own goblet. His cheeks were flushed with drink. He leaned back in his silken cushions and said, “I have news, little sister. Wonderful news! I’ve finally arranged a marriage for you!”
Isabel’s heart tried to escape her throat. Less than a year ago, she’d met the King of Portugal and she knew the subject of her engagement had been brought up during meetings she had not been privy to. She had not much liked the king. He was three times her age and already had a grown son. But to please her brother, she had flirted with him. Should she have behaved more coolly?
“To whom?” she asked, keeping her head down so she would not easily betray her feelings when she heard the news.
“It’s a wonderful match!” Enrique said, as though she hadn’t said anything. “Oh, little sister, how many times in the past month have I asked for a way to end this civil war?”
“Many times.” Isabel heard him grumble on nearly a daily basis about Alfonso’s armies. Although considering that Alfonso was a mere boy of thirteen, everyone knew the rebellion was really led by Villena.
“Yes, many times.” Enrique stared at his glass, as though it held the answers to the mysteries of faith. “Which is why I know you’ll be grateful that I’ve found a way to end it.” He downed the rest of his wine and held out his glass for a servant to refill.
“How is that?” Isabel asked. She could see Villena out of the corner of her eye, and might have panicked, had she not known him happily wed. Unless something unfortunate had happened to his wife, she could not be given to him.
“Why, through marriage, of course. How else do women solve problems?” Enrique said. He laughed, and the court echoed him.
What do you look for in a beta?
Someone who can help me improve my work! Ideally someone who "gets" my vision for my novel and helps me find ways to improve it, from characterization issues, to continuity issues, to areas which might be confusing, to areas which drag or could use additional description/explanation. In particular with this novel, I think a sense as to where things are confusing would be very helpful (as I've spent so long researching that it's often hard for me to realize when what I'm writing wouldn't make sense to anyone else), a would notes on pacing. (What would not be helpful in this case would be a beta who wants me to make sweeping storyline changes - alas, since the major plot points all actually happened, it wouldn't make sense for me to do so. Although it is possible to omit certain events if they improve clarity.)
Manuscript Genre: Historical fiction (adult)
Manuscript Word Count: 100k
Is your manuscript finished?: Y
Any trigger warnings? Some adult content (sexual + violence + the mention of sexual assault), and based on the time period, it's almost impossible to avoid religious + ethnic conflicts that would have historically been present. (I try to handle these sensitively, but again, there's no real way to completely avoid them without making things wildly anachronistic.)
Hook:
In two weeks, Princess Isabel of Castile will be wed or - if fortune favors her - dead. Fortune does favor her - her prospective groom mysteriously dies on the way to their wedding. However, the end of the engagement resumes the civil war between her two brothers. It also causes Isabel to realize that if she's to have any say in her future, or the future of her country, she will need political power.
The Scepter and the Distaff follows the life of Isabel of Castile from her aborted engagement to Pedro Giron to the birth of her first son, Juan, in 15th century Spain.
First 750 words:
In a week, Isabel would be wed or, if fortune favored her, dead. She had learned of her impending nuptials earlier in the day when her brother, the king, called her for an audience. She met him in the alcazar’s great hall. There Enrique lounged on silken pillows before the court. He was dressed in Moorish fashion, in brocade pajama pants that hung from his knobby, stick like legs. Over them he wore an enormous shirt that sagged off his narrow shoulders. His hat, with its foppish feather, hung forlornly over his flat nose. It had never healed correctly after a break.
About him the court buzzed. Servants wearing the discarded castoffs of their betters carried trays of wine. Both they and the nobles they served were a motley troop. Some dressed in Castilian style – heavy tunics and close fitting hose – while others wore the lighter silks favored by the Moors. Despite the style, none could mistake it for anything but a Christian court. Women mingled freely with men, talking and laughing with them as equals. They were not imprisoned in a gilded cell, the way they would be in a Moorish town. Isabel approved of this. Yet Isabel frowned at how the women’s necklines plunged immodestly low and the way the queen’s ladies exaggerated the sway of their hips with each toss of their bell-shaped skirts. Good Christian women should be modest; yet modesty – like most virtues – was severely lacking at the Castilian court.
Beside the king stood the only hint of sobriety, other than Isabel herself. For bending low over his arm was a dark robed figure, his black velvet coat glittering with heavy golden chains. It was Juan Pacheco, the Marquise of Villena. Isabel didn’t know what to think of him being there. Several months ago, he’d led a rebellion against the king, purportedly in support of her younger brother, Alfonso. If he truly believed in Alfonso’s cause, he ought to be guiding him, not sitting next to her older brother with their heads bowed low together as though they were dear friends. Yet he’d returned and his appearance made the hairs on the back of Isabel’s neck bristle.
King Enrique patted the cushion beside him and told Isabel to sit. Isabel tucked her skirts about her and knelt where he'd gestured, her feet pressed beneath her thighs as though she were praying. Beside her, a woman whose breasts were hanging out of her bodice giggled. “You won’t be so modest soon!”
Isabel ignored her, while Enrique waved a servant over to pour Isabel a glass of wine. She let it sit untouched while Enrique took a generous drink of his own goblet. His cheeks were flushed with drink. He leaned back in his silken cushions and said, “I have news, little sister. Wonderful news! I’ve finally arranged a marriage for you!”
Isabel’s heart tried to escape her throat. Less than a year ago, she’d met the King of Portugal and she knew the subject of her engagement had been brought up during meetings she had not been privy to. She had not much liked the king. He was three times her age and already had a grown son. But to please her brother, she had flirted with him. Should she have behaved more coolly?
“To whom?” she asked, keeping her head down so she would not easily betray her feelings when she heard the news.
“It’s a wonderful match!” Enrique said, as though she hadn’t said anything. “Oh, little sister, how many times in the past month have I asked for a way to end this civil war?”
“Many times.” Isabel heard him grumble on nearly a daily basis about Alfonso’s armies. Although considering that Alfonso was a mere boy of thirteen, everyone knew the rebellion was really led by Villena.
“Yes, many times.” Enrique stared at his glass, as though it held the answers to the mysteries of faith. “Which is why I know you’ll be grateful that I’ve found a way to end it.” He downed the rest of his wine and held out his glass for a servant to refill.
“How is that?” Isabel asked. She could see Villena out of the corner of her eye, and might have panicked, had she not known him happily wed. Unless something unfortunate had happened to his wife, she could not be given to him.
“Why, through marriage, of course. How else do women solve problems?” Enrique said. He laughed, and the court echoed him.
What do you look for in a beta?
Someone who can help me improve my work! Ideally someone who "gets" my vision for my novel and helps me find ways to improve it, from characterization issues, to continuity issues, to areas which might be confusing, to areas which drag or could use additional description/explanation. In particular with this novel, I think a sense as to where things are confusing would be very helpful (as I've spent so long researching that it's often hard for me to realize when what I'm writing wouldn't make sense to anyone else), a would notes on pacing. (What would not be helpful in this case would be a beta who wants me to make sweeping storyline changes - alas, since the major plot points all actually happened, it wouldn't make sense for me to do so. Although it is possible to omit certain events if they improve clarity.)
