Referring to nameless characters

thethinker42 · Apr 12, 2008

I have some lengthy scenes in my WIP that involve my characters interacting with characters that are not named. An old woman, a barmaid, etc. In one scene, my MC is escaping from a village, aided by an unnamed old woman. Naturally, I have to refer to both from time to time, identify who is speaking, say who is doing what, etc. So basically, it feels like I'm writing "the old woman" over and over and over, or at least more times in one paragraph than I would like. Since both characters are the same gender, I can't use pronouns too much.

How do you handle this? If a person's "name" is their description, should I use it with the same frequency I might refer to a person's name, or does it become repetitive? I'm torn between whether it truly sounds repetitive, or whether it just becomes invisible like the word "said".

Clear as mud, probably. Thoughts?

raegan_1 · Apr 12, 2008

You may consider having your MC give these side characters nicknames. Perhaps the old woman reminds your MC of a grandmother or an aunt, so then "the old woman" becomes "Granny".

Same with the barmaid. Perhaps the bar maid is very similar to a girl the MC grew up with, and so that comparison would go in early, along with perhaps a mental mentioning

D) that this is now "Carla". Or perhaps with the case of the barmaid, she has her own local "nickname". Do the regular patrons perhaps call her something? Your MC may pick up on that as well.

IceCreamEmpress · Apr 12, 2008

I wouldn't overthink it. If you can come up with a couple of synonyms for the unnamed character ("the crone," "the old peasant,") and some dialogue tags that convey old age ("Her aged voice quavered") then just use the name of your named character a bit more frequently than you might.

Anastasia grew impatient. "Tell me when you saw them last!"
"It were a week ago last Sunday, " said the old woman. "No, I don't remember rightly; it were the Sunday afore."
"Please, good woman! I'm in a hurry!"
"Our William had just come back from the market down Salisbury way." The aged voice quavered. "Yes. It were the Sunday afore last. I'm sure of it."

and so forth.

scribbler1382 · Apr 12, 2008

I agree with Rae. Not only will the nickname give you a handle for the unnamed characters, but the type of nickname your character gives them can reveal character of the giver. If an old woman is nicknamed "granny" as opposed to "hag" or "ye olde stinking bi-atch", the reader's impression will change accordingly.

DWSTXS · Apr 12, 2008

In a 'side story' of my WIP, I have several scenes in which an unnamed character commits several rapes, and I never refer to him by name. I am leaving it to the reader to try and figure out which character it is.
I never name him outright, and leave only the barest clues as to which of 3 characters it could be. Near the end of the story I leave one small clue that will allow the reader to figure it out. I never name him outright.

thethinker42 · Apr 12, 2008

DWSTXS said:
In a 'side story' of my WIP, I have several scenes in which an unnamed character commits several rapes, and I never refer to him by name. I am leaving it to the reader to try and figure out which character it is.
I never name him outright, and leave only the barest clues as to which of 3 characters it could be. Near the end of the story I leave one small clue that will allow the reader to figure it out. I never name him outright.

My biggest concern in mine is just letting the reader know which of two characters (the unnamed character and the MC) is talking, performing an action, etc., without getting too repetitive with "the old woman", etc. I'm not trying to hide her identity...she just isn't named.

Siddow · Apr 12, 2008

The last two books I read had unnamed characters. One used generic markers (the man, the boy), the other used nicknames (Chief, Gramps), both very effective and fitting to the narrative.

I'd judge by your narrator. Who is telling the story, and if you sat down next to them, how would they identify the person you're having trouble with?

Jackfishwoman · Apr 12, 2008

"The Old Woman" as a name has a nice, comfortable sound to it. And using it repetitively seems to make it feel loaded - in a good, rich way.

Plus it's an easy identifier - you don't have to explicate with that.

On the other-hand, it's like type-casting. I guess it depends on what you are trying to do with the story. Interesting dilemma though...

DWSTXS · Apr 12, 2008

why not give her some sort of mannerism that she does, always tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear, chewing her fingernails etc etc to identify her?

Zoombie · Apr 12, 2008

I ran into this problem with my story "The Nameless Mage."

Mostly cause...the titular character was...nameless and I don't feel like re-writing it in first person.

David I · Apr 13, 2008

DWSTXS said:
why not give her some sort of mannerism that she does, always tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear, chewing her fingernails etc etc to identify her?

That's usually referred to as a "character tag." It's a useful device, but it gets old really quickly.

So do "nicknames" the POV character invents. (In fact, John Gardner identifies these nickname-y tags as a sign you''re dealing with inferior writing: "So, Gray-suit says to Sharkskin...")

"The old woman" or "the boy" also get old quickly unless pulled off as a specific literary device--and one better suited to short stories.

What's my point? My point is, yes, you have an important problem and you are right to worry about it. If I have to carry this sort of thing on for very long, I make sure Character B says Character A's name so I can snap it up.

I have a scene written a month ago where the POV character has a pillowcase over his head and only knows the name of one of the seven people in the room. As Bill Clinton used to say, I feel your pain. It sucks.

IceCreamEmpress · Apr 13, 2008

Bill Pronzini's written an entire series with a nameless detective protagonist. This is just one of the things about him that is amazing.

maestrowork · Apr 13, 2008

Whose POV is it? Have the character give them nicknames (internally), then use those nicknames. It has to be something the POV character would refer them as, though, not the narrator. "Old bag" or "Sexy" or "Dwarf #2," etc.

Phaeal · Apr 13, 2008

If the old woman was around for more than a couple pages, I'd give her a name or at least have the POV character mentally christen her with a tag name, as suggested above. Just two or three pages of "old woman" wouldn't bother me.

thethinker42 · Apr 13, 2008

Cool, thanks for all the pointers everyone.

I think I've got it worked out, at least enough that I can finish the scene and move on with the story. I'll worry about it more during the editing process, but I think I've got it for now.

Thanks again!

~grace~ · Apr 13, 2008

raegan_1 said:
You may consider having your MC give these side characters nicknames.

That's what I do, but I'm using close 3rd-person POV so it's very clearly what my MC thinks of them. I usually incorporate what she thinks of them into the tag. Slimy, for instance.

My favorite is Weaselface. At some point she actually learns the character's name, but she can never remember it.

David I said:
So do "nicknames" the POV character invents. (In fact, John Gardner identifies these nickname-y tags as a sign you''re dealing with inferior writing: "So, Gray-suit says to Sharkskin...")

Well oops.

Everything is inferior if done incorrectly.

icerose · Apr 13, 2008

I have this problem too. In my current WIP then the main bad guy's four generals were stripped of their names hundreds of years earlier and are referred to only by the magic which they yeild. Example: Fire Fury General. When they later break free they regain their identities and take back their names as an act of defiance and freedom.

Andre_Laurent · Apr 14, 2008

David I said:
That's usually referred to as a "character tag." It's a useful device, but it gets old really quickly.

So do "nicknames" the POV character invents. (In fact, John Gardner identifies these nickname-y tags as a sign you''re dealing with inferior writing: "So, Gray-suit says to Sharkskin...")

"The old woman" or "the boy" also get old quickly unless pulled off as a specific literary device--and one better suited to short sotries.

What's my point? My point is, yes, you have an important problem and you are right to worry about it. If I have to carry this sort of thing on for very long, I make sure Character B says Character A's name so I can snap it up.

I have a scene written a month ago where the POV character has a pliiowcase over his head and only knows the name of one of the seven people in the room. As Bill Clinton used to say, I feel your pain. It sucks.

Oh balls. I knew my mc shouldn't have referred to that redhead as Red.

cethklein · Apr 14, 2008

A good exampel of how to handle this situation is the story, John Updike's "A&P" (like the gorcery store.) I'm sure you've read it at some point. The author would give little nicknames to people coming into the store. A little campy but it did the job.

Referring to nameless characters

thethinker42

Abnormal Romance Author

raegan_1

Funny, motivated, eccentric.

IceCreamEmpress

Hapless Virago

scribbler1382

Write For You, Edit For The Reader

DWSTXS

Mr Mojo Risin...

thethinker42

Abnormal Romance Author

Siddow

I'm super! Thanks for asking

Jackfishwoman

DWSTXS

Mr Mojo Risin...

Zoombie

Dragon of the Multiverse

David I

IceCreamEmpress

Hapless Virago

maestrowork

Fear the Death Ray

Phaeal

Whatever I did, I didn't do it.

thethinker42

Abnormal Romance Author

~grace~

the good old days

icerose

Lost in School Work

Andre_Laurent

cethklein