Question about WAS vs. WERE?

[Dana-Lynn]

Microsoft Word is messing with my head, so I thought I should ask you great folks on here to see if Word is correct, or if I am correct about using "was" versus "were"????

Here are the problem sentences where Word is telling me to use "were" instead of "was":

If I was already dead, he wouldn't have to kill me.

My heart ached for a second, and I felt guilty as I briefly wished that it was my dad standing there instead of my uncle.

I was polite and said hi, but my insides were squirming, and I wished like anything that I was back at home.

A part of me still wished I was back in my bedroom instead of here.

I tore the envelope open. Inside was a round trip plane ticket and a note.

PLEASE help?
:Shrug:

[Bartholomew]

Microsoft Word is messing with my head, so I thought I should ask you great folks on here to see if Word is correct, or if I am correct about using "was" versus "were"????

Here are the problem sentences where Word is telling me to use "were" instead of "was":

If I was already dead, he wouldn't have to kill me.

My heart ached for a second, and I felt guilty as I briefly wished that it was my dad standing there instead of my uncle.

I was polite and said hi, but my insides were squirming, and I wished like anything that I was back at home.

A part of me still wished I was back in my bedroom instead of here.

I tore the envelope open. Inside was a round trip plane ticket and a note.

PLEASE help?
:Shrug:

You're supposed to kick into the subjunctive mode during one of those. Others are awkwardly worded and don't let you see the problem.

If I was already dead, he wouldn't have to kill me.

Needs to be subjunctive. "If" clauses tend to trigger this.

My heart ached for a second, and I felt guilty as I briefly wished that it was my dad standing there instead of my uncle.

This is a conjugation error--it has a name, but I forget what it is. You need to use a past perfect structure to avoid it.

I WISHED {that} my dad HAD BEEN standing there instead.

I wish my dad WAS standing there instead.

WISHED + WAS doesn't work grammatically.

I was polite and said hi, but my insides were squirming, and I wished like anything that I was back at home.

See above. This sort of error isn't going to kill you, by the way. I'd worry more on whether or not you're using "To be" too often.

A part of me still wished I was back in my bedroom instead of here.

A part of me still wished to be...

I tore the envelope open. Inside was a round trip plane ticket and a note.
The "and" is screwing with the subject / verb agreement. Reword it and you'll see why.

"A round trip ticket and a note was inside."

See the problem now? If not, shorten it further, and you'll have--

"They was inside."

All are incorrect, but the extra verbiage makes the error look less apparent in your version. In any case, you need to fix this one. It's a fairly glaring problem.

[ErylRavenwell]

As Bart said, although past perfect is to be avoided mostly.

On another note, take that example:

I tore the envelope open. Inside was a round trip plane ticket and a note.

I tore the envelope open. Inside, a round trip plane ticket and a note.

Cut out the "was" that distracts. Note the above is not grammatical but still widely used.

[Bartholomew]

Cut out the "was" that distracts. Note the above is not grammatical but still widely used.

Good suggestion, but I must advise caution with it.

Cutting a necessary verb out for style is always tricky if the author doesn't have a deathgrip on his character's voice. Once or twice, a sentence fragment of this sort is OK. If I see them too close together though, I'm going to stop reading and start wondering where all the verbs went.

As Bart said, although past perfect is to be avoided mostly.


Yep. Usually, using the past perfect is a sign that you're avoiding strong, active verbs. Not always, mind, but usually. Past perfect is more likely to end up in dialog than in prose, unless you're info dumping. So if you find that you've slipped into ANY perfect tense, carefully examine the sentence. There isn't a rule saying you can't use it---but it is very easy to use it poorly. Past perfect is a fancied up version of "To be." :-)

[Dana-Lynn]

You're supposed to kick into the subjunctive mode during one of those.

Thanks so much for the help.

I guess I need to go look up the word subjunctive.
:roll:


I THINK I understand what you mean. I can see that these should be reworded.
I knew SOMETHING wasn't right. lol!

[Thump]

Mmmh! I love the subjunctive X-D It always impressed my teachers in HS when I used all my tenses right... especially in the same text.


I don't bother anymore, urgh.

[maestrowork]

Microsoft Word is messing with my head, so I thought I should ask you great folks on here to see if Word is correct, or if I am correct about using "was" versus "were"????

Here are the problem sentences where Word is telling me to use "were" instead of "was":

If I was already dead, he wouldn't have to kill me.

My heart ached for a second, and I felt guilty as I briefly wished that it was my dad standing there instead of my uncle.

I was polite and said hi, but my insides were squirming, and I wished like anything that I was back at home.

A part of me still wished I was back in my bedroom instead of here.


These are called subjunctive mood. "Wish" or "if" or "as if" etc. -- something that is not true or can't be true. "Were" is the right choice.


I tore the envelope open. Inside was a round trip plane ticket and a note.


There are two things: round-trip ticket and a note. "Were" is the right choice.

[Dana-Lynn]

Thanks, Maestro. That makes sense.

:D


Okay. PLEASE tell me if these are better, or should I totally reword them (if so, any suggestions? I'm too close to it. lol!)?


If I were already dead, he wouldn’t have to kill me.

My heart ached for a second, and I felt guilty as I briefly wished my dad had been standing there instead of my uncle.

I was polite and said hi, but my insides were squirming, and I wanted like anything to be back at home.

A part of me still wanted to be back in my bedroom instead of here.

I tore the envelope open. I pulled out a round trip plane ticket and a note.

[maestrowork]

Grammatically they're all fine, I believe.


My heart ached for a second, and I felt guilty as I briefly wished my dad had been standing there instead of my uncle.


"Had been" is fine but you can also use "were" in the current time frame:

"I wished my dad were standing there instead of my uncle."

"Had been" tells us that the uncle is no longer standing there.



I tore the envelope open. I pulled out a round trip plane ticket and a note.

I tore the envelope open, pulled out a roundtrip plane ticket and a note.

[kullervo]

Ah, the subjunctive tense. Can't get enough of it.

[Dana-Lynn]

THANK YOU, Maestro!!!!

:Hail:



:e2flowers

[Barber]

LOL, I like your questions because they force me to think (and face the things I THINK I know but don't)


I was polite and said hi, but my insides were squirming, and I wanted like anything to be back at home.



For this sentence, I would write the following:

I politely said hi, but my insides squirmed, and I wanted like anything to be back at home.

Well, I don't really know what the 'like anything' part means (more than anything?), but I didn't want to take it out since it's your sentence.

A good rule of thumb with the 'be' verbs is to use them as little as possible (is, am, were, was, to be, been, are). You know those writing experts who write books on prose and stuff? They insist using the 'be' verbs is sort of a lazy way to say what you mean to, and even though sometimes it's absolutely necessary, there are times you can say the same sentence in a more eloquent way. Also, these verbs tend to become repetetive, which seems true.

[Dana-Lynn]

That's some great advice! Thanks, Barber! I appreciate your help. I'll hafta go back over my MS with that in mind.

I probably do use the "be" verbs too much, mostly because I didn't know not to yet. . . . This is only my first novel, so I'm learning as I go (even though I've been writing since I was 12, & I'm 36 now, I took the last 10 yrs. or so off from writing when my kids were little. Now that I'm getting back in to it, I've learned soooooooooo much more in the past eight months than I ever knew when I was younger! LOL!)

For example, 10 yrs. or more ago, it was OKAY to use as many adjectives and adverbs as you could think of, and finding new and different ways to say "said" was the way to go.
:roll:
I don't think there was ever any such thing as "said bookisms" back 12 yrs. ago! LOL!

And like the words subjunctive mood, conjugation error, or predicate nominative, etc., I didn't know there WAS such a thing until these posts! LOL!

I have been learning something new about the whole writing process EVERY day for the past eight months that I didn't know before!
:D
And my (now) completed first draft of my MS is sooooooo much better every day because of it! lol


:snoopy:
Thanks again for the help! I really appreciate everyone's input!!!!

[Dawnstorm]

For this sentence, I would write the following:

I politely said hi, but my insides squirmed, and I wanted like anything to be back at home.

Well, I don't really know what the 'like anything' part means (more than anything?), but I didn't want to take it out since it's your sentence.

A good rule of thumb with the 'be' verbs is to use them as little as possible (is, am, were, was, to be, been, are). You know those writing experts who write books on prose and stuff? They insist using the 'be' verbs is sort of a lazy way to say what you mean to, and even though sometimes it's absolutely necessary, there are times you can say the same sentence in a more eloquent way. Also, these verbs tend to become repetetive, which seems true.

I disagree. "were squirming" is much better than "squirmed" in that context, as it indicates a process rather than a dry bit of information. Take the English language to task, if you will, but things that go on take the continuous aspect (be + -ing). If two things happen at the same time but one interrupts you get the longer in "be + ing" and the shorter in the simple tense. That's just the way it is.

Your edit isn't necessarily wrong, but in narration it's awkward. Do this too much (changing continuous aspect to simple aspect) and you won't use the full range the language has to offer. I don't think that's the path to good writing.

***

As to was/were; the traditionalists say that "were" is correct, and "was" isn't, but out there, in the real world, away from the experts, the distinction is beginning to disappear. Note that "be" is the only verb left that has a different form for the subjunctive than for the past tense. All other verbs already have the same form. (If I were...; but: If I lived... If I ate... etc.)

So you already get "If I was..." rather than "If I were...", or "I wish I was..." rather than "I wish I were...". This does not work with subject-verb inversion. It's always: "Were I a better writer..." and never "Was I a better writer..."

So, to play it safe use "were"; nobody should object to that, while there are still people who object to "was".

[girlyswot]

Ah, the subjunctive tense. Can't get enough of it.

Subjunctive mood. ;)

Sorry. Once a grammar teacher, it seems, always a grammar teacher.

[Bartholomew]

Subjunctive mood. ;)

Sorry. Once a grammar teacher, it seems, always a grammar teacher.

Mood or Mode? Because I've heard both.

[Dawnstorm]

Mood or Mode? Because I've heard both.

Mode is to mood as time is to tense.

So, for example, you can express the "imperative mode" through the "imperative mood" (Do this! Let's do this!) or through using the modal auxiliary "must" (You must do this!) or through explicity stating that you're giving an order (I order you to do this!) or...

[girlyswot]

Mood or Mode? Because I've heard both.

When parsing a verb you need: mood (subjunctive, imperative, indicative etc.); voice (passive or active); tense (past, present, future etc.); number (singular or plural); person (1st, 2nd, 3rd).

Mode is to mood as time is to tense.

So, for example, you can express the "imperative mode" through the "imperative mood" (Do this! Let's do this!) or through using the modal auxiliary "must" (You must do this!) or through explicity stating that you're giving an order (I order you to do this!) or...


Exactly.

[Sharon Mock]

Not to further complicate matters and (sort of) disagree with everybody above, but...

Yes, grammatically everything but the last example is subjunctive mood, and should be were instead of was.

However, as Dawnstorm points out, in the real world, very few of us use were in normal speech. You're writing in first person. Don't let grammatical accuracy interfere with your character's voice.

[Dana-Lynn]

However, as Dawnstorm points out, in the real world, very few of us use were in normal speech. You're writing in first person. Don't let grammatical accuracy interfere with your character's voice.

I hadn't thought about it that way. Thank you for pointing that out!

[blacbird]

As Bart said, although past perfect is to be avoided mostly.

On another note, take that example:

I tore the envelope open. Inside was a round trip plane ticket and a note.

I tore the envelope open. Inside, a round trip plane ticket and a note.

Cut out the "was" that distracts. Note the above is not grammatical but still widely used.

Just for grins, if you're really into the tight editing mode, you can say it all with:

The envelope contained a round trip plane ticket and a note.

A reader will assume you tore the envelope open. That bit of action is pretty much fluffy stage direction. I have often found, in editing, when I've stumbled across some awkwardness in grammar, that it stems from just plain trying to describe too much. Simplification tends to cure the problem.

caw

[ErylRavenwell]

Just for grins, if you're really into the tight editing mode, you can say it all with:

The envelope contained a round trip plane ticket and a note.

A reader will assume you tore the envelope open. That bit of action is pretty much fluffy stage direction. I have often found, in editing, when I've stumbled across some awkwardness in grammar, that it stems from just plain trying to describe too much. Simplification tends to cure the problem.

caw

Exactly. Trivial information. Adds nothing to the storyline.