cornell
04-01-2005, 07:15 AM
this should probably be on the fantasy sci-fi thread but ill get more respnse here. anyway, this is just something i whipped up of the top of my head....a possible story may follow. i'm just starting out so all criticism will be helpful. what do you think?
"The young Blood Soldier stood under the shadow of the Emperors’ finest. Virgin eyes peered out boldly under the peak of his polished, unscathed battlehelm.
The Royal bodyguard towered over him an arms length vigilalantly, protective and true to his oath. The taller man, 20 years the Blood’s senior, had pledged to trade his life so that the new soldier could see as many battles as himself. The boy had spent years with the bodyguard, in the training grounds preparing for a day like this, shoulder to shoulder with hundreds other bloods, now scattered among a mass of 10,000 warriors and mages, each with their own personal mentor and protector. Volanis’ own protector had become like a father to him in the last couple of years, preparing him for combat and guiding him on his path toward the emperors’ elite. Dandrack knew the boy help promise from the first day he picked up a sword. ‘The grip of a true warrior’ he had told the boy, laughing as the Lionblade dwarfed the young Otharian. But as time passed the boy proved more than an eager student and a growing fondness for his apprentice grew. Dandrack had proven himself loyal to the Emperor of Otharia in the Great War on the battlefields of Mok and Lunarstil. He had himself began his voyage as a Blood, paving his way into the Royal Courtyard of the Elite, eventually taking an oath to further serve by pledging to give his life once again protecting those who would walk in his footsteps.
That day had come, and in the valley of Grot, he and the boy would ride out together into battle to face the Black Legions of Mok."
thank you
"The young Blood Soldier stood under the shadow of the Emperors’ finest. Virgin eyes peered out boldly under the peak of his polished, unscathed battlehelm.
The Royal bodyguard towered over him an arms length vigilalantly, protective and true to his oath. The taller man, 20 years the Blood’s senior, had pledged to trade his life so that the new soldier could see as many battles as himself. The boy had spent years with the bodyguard, in the training grounds preparing for a day like this, shoulder to shoulder with hundreds other bloods, now scattered among a mass of 10,000 warriors and mages, each with their own personal mentor and protector. Volanis’ own protector had become like a father to him in the last couple of years, preparing him for combat and guiding him on his path toward the emperors’ elite. Dandrack knew the boy help promise from the first day he picked up a sword. ‘The grip of a true warrior’ he had told the boy, laughing as the Lionblade dwarfed the young Otharian. But as time passed the boy proved more than an eager student and a growing fondness for his apprentice grew. Dandrack had proven himself loyal to the Emperor of Otharia in the Great War on the battlefields of Mok and Lunarstil. He had himself began his voyage as a Blood, paving his way into the Royal Courtyard of the Elite, eventually taking an oath to further serve by pledging to give his life once again protecting those who would walk in his footsteps.
That day had come, and in the valley of Grot, he and the boy would ride out together into battle to face the Black Legions of Mok."
thank you