maybe a silly question - use of "suddenly"

avid-dreamer · Mar 31, 2008

Ok. I think I will top myself with this one. Uh, would you guys ever use words like suddenly in your screenplays to describe how something took place?
I am tempted to use it to initiate an action that surprises my main guy, but I don't know if that sort of thing should be reserved for novel writing. I also don't recall reading action like that in any of the screenplays I looked at.
Thanks for the help.

odocoileus · Mar 31, 2008

I also don't recall reading action like that in any of the screenplays I looked at.

There's your answer.

That being said, do what feels right to you.

There are some who would advise against this kind of usage of "suddenly" even in prose fiction. "Suddenly" here functions as a kind of commentary on the action as opposed to a description of the action. How did it happen?
Suddenly.

You don't need to use "suddenly". You can just describe the action. If the action in question is a big surprise or a huge shock, you can underline it for emphasis. That way it feels sudden as you read it.

DeaconBlu · Mar 31, 2008

This conjures up all manner of slow agonizing death. That's the way my college prof put it. Adverbs suck 90% of the power out of your nouns, use them sparingly (and yes I do see paradox).

Plot Device · Mar 31, 2008

I found the word repeatedly in the LotR scripts.

Anyway, I have used it sparingly. My preference is when the scene has had a slow pace and I want to emphasize a surprising event which causes a sudden (oops! I used it again) upsurge in tempo.

avid-dreamer · Mar 31, 2008

Hmmm, points taken. Well, what do u guys think about using the word then?
Example:

Bob pulls the lever.

Then out of the hole pops a ...whatever.

leim · Mar 31, 2008

I would agree with using it sparingly, but if you feel you need it use it. Spec scripts should almost read like a novel to keep the reader moving along and not like a boring shooting script.

odocoileus · Mar 31, 2008

Using "then"?

My general opinion is that it's not needed. You're writing in present tense, using short, simple sentences, for the most part.

Again, feel free to use it if you have good reason.

Keep in mind you can space out the progression of the action using mini slugs and such. The reader's going to assume the events in line two happen immediately after the events in line one, unless you explicitly state otherwise.

small axe · Mar 31, 2008

"Suddenly" works -- as PD said, when it is indeed expressing/describing surprise or surprises a character.

"Then" is worthy to separate within a sequence of events (This happens, that happens, then this; not this and that)

But only use them when they actually EMPHASIZE somethng that needed to stand out.

Plot Device · Apr 1, 2008

I have used "then" in the following way:

She creeps into the house through the door, leaving it open behind her. But then --

MICHAEL (O.C.)
What are you doing here???

She whips her head around back toward the

FRONT DOOR

where Michael now stands, blocking her exit.

Again, it adds emphasis. Sort of a "bump-bump-BAAAHHHHH!" touch of melodrama. Keeps the pace. Sets the tone. And no one misses what you're doing --they "get it."

Daydreamer · Apr 1, 2008

Does it really matter?
Just write it so the reader will understand. I don't think anyone will hang you if you use 'suddenly' or 'then'. Just keep the story flowing.

My advice.

or as Derek may put it:
I'm not a professional screenwriter, this is just my humble opinion. Use whatever comments and suggestions you happen to find useful, if any, ignore the rest without a second thought.
As always I'm just offering my opinion, I'm not claiming I'm right. Hope it helps in some way, good luck with it.

icerose · Apr 1, 2008

I used to be terrible with "Suddenly" in my novels. I had them anytime something "Suddenly" happened. And with it being suspensful writing, 'suddenly' was happening a lot.

I found that it was in fact weakening the writing and ended up taking most if not all of them out. I'm a much better writer for it. Thus I have never used it in a script as I found I don't need it.

NikeeGoddess · Apr 1, 2008

there was an old katherine hepburn/liz taylor movie that i've seen a few times called Suddenly, Last Summer and i don't know why but the moviefreak in me knows that the words, "suddenly, last summer" were spoken 9 times in that flick.

imo "then" is equal in value to use of "cut to" - both are redundant and you don't really need them.

preyer · Apr 1, 2008

a lot of the same guidelines you'd use in prose seem to apply to this screenwriting thing. that said, both of these are things you'd try to avoid. and as soon as you do you'll find ten examples to the contrary.

my advice is play around with the alternatives. 'without warning' sounds just as good, no?

bluejester12 · Apr 1, 2008

"Then" is fine in cases like:

John goes over to Renee then starts dressing her wound.

It depends on the rythym. I may also write:

John goes over to Renee. He starts dressing her wound.

Use "suddenly" sparingly. My action script has it maybe once or twice.

Drake starts to walk away.

BOB
Hey! where are you going?

Drake is suddenly in Bob's face, nose to nose.

DRAKE
None of your damn business.

NikeeGoddess · Apr 1, 2008

sorry, but last example is not so good.

John goes over to Renee then starts dressing her wound.
John goes over to Renee. He starts dressing her wound.

no one should ever "start" doing anything. it's not active.
just eliminate the word start and fix the verb.

John dresses her wound.

i implies that the action is continuous.

seunosewa · Apr 2, 2008

How about: "villain does yyy. Hero, surprised, does yyy"?

icerose · Apr 2, 2008

seunosewa said:
How about: "villain does yyy. Hero, surprised, does yyy"?

Just because you're taking out ly's and thens doesn't mean you need flat prose. You want spicey kicking prose. It's both easier and harder to do it without those extra. Harder because you have to be more creative, easier because you don't have those words bogging it down. It also forces you to mix up your sentences more to make them more interesting.

bluejester12 · Apr 2, 2008

NikeeGoddess said:
sorry, but last example is not so good.

no one should ever "start" doing anything. it's not active.
just eliminate the word start and fix the verb.
i implies that the action is continuous.

That's what happens in the script I pulled the example from. They continue to talk as the wound is being dressed.

maybe a silly question - use of "suddenly"

avid-dreamer

AW Addict

odocoileus

DeaconBlu

Plot Device

A woman said to write like a man.

avid-dreamer

AW Addict

leim

odocoileus

small axe

memento mori

Plot Device

A woman said to write like a man.

Daydreamer

icerose

Lost in School Work

NikeeGoddess

preyer

excessively spartan

bluejester12

I write and I wrong