Tact Needed...

Star · Mar 26, 2008

Greetings fellow writers,

My writing mentor offered to pass my novel to be blurbed by her friend who writes in my genre. My mentor gave me this writer's novel and said if I liked it, she'd then ask for that blurb. Well...sigh...I don't like the book. How can I tell my mentor this without being rude?

Some of you may think I always come here with elementary questions. But you don't know my history. In the past, I've been honest to a fault when pressed. Now that I'll soon be in the public eye, I have to work on myself. Too many bunions in my mouth, ya know?

stormie · Mar 26, 2008

Maybe instead of telling her you didn't like the book, say, "I found it interesting" and leave it at that. Interesting could mean a ton of things. "Interesting that the characters were bland." "Interesting that the plot--uh, there was no plot." If pressed, chose one thing that positively made it interesting, even if it's only one character's idiosyncrisies.

Toothpaste · Mar 26, 2008

How much do you need that blurb? I mean come on, a little white lie ain't going to hurt you if this blurb will really help your book. I know it sounds awful, but come on, in the grand scheme of things, whether or not you liked a book isn't that huge a deal. I've had to see plays my friends were in and desperately dredge up something good about it, because it would be so unfair to tell them the thing just sucked.

If this were a matter of life or death, if this was you testifying in front of a grand jury or something, you might have a larger moral dilemma. But this is if you liked a book or not.

Still the "interesting" thing could be your way to go.

"I found it really interesting, there were some moments I truly didn't expect." etc etc

Or you could just lie and say you liked it.

James81 · Mar 26, 2008

Don't lie.

Read the book again and find the parts you DID like about it (even in BAD writing, there are almost ALWAYS things you can find that you like if you look hard enough) and comment on those things.

Star · Mar 26, 2008

Hmm, you guys are showing me that details are the key!

Thanks for your input so far. Allow me to add...

My mentor gave me an autographed copy of the book, along with another book just to peruse. She warned me three times to be very careful with them. I've already managed to spill a bit of tea on the spine of the other book (and I wasn't even drinking it at the time!) and I want to drop these books off as soon as possible.

To be honest, the potential blurber isn't widely known, and though she's in my genre, her audience is totally different - think preppy v. urban. I've already received two blurbs from bestselling authors in my genre, so I'm not really pressed.

I like the idea of saying the book is "interesting," but my mentor tends to push people together in an effort to help further careers. She's AMAZING. However, I don't know how to deal with this same scenario when I'M the author she's asking for a blurb if I don't like the book.

czjaba · Mar 26, 2008

What does it matter if you like her book or not? She would be the one writing the blurb, right? Or is she perhaps expecting that you'll return the favor someday? If so, that would be for a different book, a different chance to hunt through the pages to find some things you like. But, yeah, I'd agree with the 'interesting' remark.

Star · Mar 26, 2008

It matters because my mentor specifically said, "If you like the book, I'll ask her to blurb you." Also, as I've mentioned, I want to get this book back to her TODAY, before I spill a whole pitcher of cherry-red juice on it! So she'll know darn well I didn't read it that fast! (She gave me the book yesterday.)

Ahh, I guess I'm worried over nothing. Then again, I'll supply you with an example of how my mentor means well, but...

A while ago she thought I'd hit it off with another writer who happened to be looking for models to sell her clothes. My mentor thought I looked model-like, so she connected me with this writer. She gushed over this writer, said she was such a sweetheart, and that we'd SURELY connect and help one another. So um, I get to the spot, and the writer gives me a strained smile, then says, "So, are you an ASPIRING writer, or have you had anything published?" She then proceeded to treat me like a worker instead of a potential peer. I didn't expect her to slap me on the back and give me a big old hearty hug, but I also didn't expect to be treated with such disdain. This writer is clearly well-off/status-conscious and I am not. But just because she's black like me, my mentor swore we'd hit it off.

The uncomfortable part is that my mentor continues to bring this writer up, asking me if we've had a chance to link up yet, and reminding me of how wonderful it is to know her. All I can do is flash a strained smile, and nod my head.

I hope this gives you somewhat of an idea of how awkward things are when you can't tell the truth. I'd never dream of saying, this sistah is a snob, please don't suggest we hang again.

Does this clear things up a bit, or have I made things even more muddled? *scratching head*

Namatu · Mar 26, 2008

Star said:
To be honest, the potential blurber isn't widely known, and though she's in my genre, her audience is totally different - think preppy v. urban. I've already received two blurbs from bestselling authors in my genre, so I'm not really pressed.

If you don't need the blurb, then don't stress. Just call the book interesting. If you need to say more, use the different audience angle to sidestep requesting the blurb.

czjaba · Mar 26, 2008

I'd say muddled. But I'd also question the mentor. If she is truly trying to help you, I think you should be honest with her. Straight up, but polite about it.

Momento Mori · Mar 26, 2008

star:
my mentor specifically said, "If you like the book, I'll ask her to blurb you.

It sounds to me that this is a little backwards. Surely it should be if your mentor's friend likes your book, then she'll write the blurb? There shouldn't be any element of "if you like her's then she'll write and say she likes yours". Although this probably marks me down as being v. naive.

MM

dirtsider · Mar 26, 2008

Is there anything you did like about it? If yes, focus on that. Was the book just not your style and that's why you didn't like it? If that's the case, then mention it to your mentor but focus on what was good about it.

My friend and I both love fantasy but have long since realized that we don't like the same type of fantasy. She prefers urban fantasy while I like medieval fantasy more. There's enough of an overlap that we can discuss books, though.

Star · Mar 26, 2008

Hm, I'm confused too!

I guess I should've asked is it rude to give back the book the next day? See, all of this ties in...I guess....aw, let me go to lunch and clear my head. I'm going to see Gene Wilder at Barnes & Noble in a few!!! I Love him. Can't believe he's writing books.

Williebee · Mar 26, 2008

Tell Gene I said Hey.

He won't know what you're talking about but he'll get that funny, blank look on his face, so we win!

Thou shalt not lie! Our world is too small and it will bite you somewhere down the road. Look at what dirtsider said, look for things you liked and didn't like. Be polite, but honest.
Not everybody "clicks", you know?

If you aren't honest about this, then your mentor may next steer you toward someone else, in the same vein, that you won't like, and we'll be right back here in a few months. Yes?

Good luck!

Twizzle · Mar 26, 2008

I'm not sure I get the problem. Telling someone you weren't interested in a book they thought you'd like isn't rude-it's your right to have opinions and not agree 100% with your mentor. Tell them politely, but honestly-it just wasn't my cup of tea and hand back the book. If you don't need the author for a blurb anyway, what's the issue? Your mentor suggested a book, you tried it, it wasn't your thing.

Sonneillon · Mar 26, 2008

It sounds to me like you're doing a lot of goose stepping to avoid offending your mentor. While I understand why this is important, I also think it's only going to get more and more difficult for you as time goes on, and you're giving her strained smiles in response to more and more inquiries. There are ways to be both gentle and honest. You don't have to say "I disliked the book". You can always say "You know, I just found it difficult to get into it, maybe because we're really not writing for the same audience. I'm sure (author) is wonderful, but perhaps there's someone else with whom I would have more in common?"

With this other lady, the previous one, you might try, "You know, we had a lovely conversation but I just don't think we're on the same page... I'm sure she's a great person to know in her field, but we just weren't able to click. No worries! I really appreciate the effort you made to hook us up, but I think we can relax on that relationship. No use forcing something that doesn't fit."

The trick is to be diplomatic and smile a LOT. Don't say anything bad about these people or cast any blame. Make it clear how grateful you are for her efforts, and change the subject to future endeavors.

Star · Mar 26, 2008

All of your replies are much appreciated, and some quite funny!
I love this line, "You know, I just found it difficult to get into it, maybe because we're really not writing for the same audience."

I purchased Gene's book & he signed it. Oh, I'm such a groupie. B&N is smart. They made you purchase the book before you went up and ogled him. One lady was too cheap to buy the book, and the guard kept having to tell her to clear the area. Yet she stayed put and craned her neck, longingly watching him. LOL

stormie · Mar 26, 2008

Lucky you, getting to say hi to Gene Wilder! That's what I like about the city, but don't get there often enough.

Anyhoo, this bothers me:

star said:
But just because she's black like me, my mentor swore we'd hit it off.

Huh? What does that have to do with hitting it off? And from what else you've said about your mentor, it sounds like maybe she's manipulative or overbearing. Do you need her? Or am I missing something.

Just say, "What I read of the book (since it's obvious you only had time to scan it), it's interesting. (Pick a character) seemed like another (pick a character from a well-known book)."

DWSTXS · Mar 26, 2008

I would give the blurb, but I would say it as: If you liked (name of best-seller in that genre) then you'll love (the name of this writer's book)

You would be telling the truth, in that, someone who liked a best-seller in that genre would like the book...

stormie · Mar 26, 2008

Oh, good answer, DWS! I like that one.

Star · Mar 26, 2008

Yeah, I love that answer DSW! Thanks

Stormie, well...sigh...I'm so paranoid about revealing too much information here because ya never know who lurks. But I do see where you're coming from.

p.s. Stormie, speaking of black. I must admit Gene slightly raised his eyebrows when he saw me - I think, in a good way - like WOW, my work has even reached the young AA generation (though I'm not that young)! I told Gene that Young Frankenstein is my favorite. He nodded and said his favorite too. One last insignificant note. It was so weird to see Gene without his full curly head of hair. I know, I know, we age. But old pictures have a way of freezing icons in time. He still has the same smile though.

deepprincealain · Mar 26, 2008

Based on what you said Star, I read her as overbearing or overwhelming in the amount of help she was trying to give. Perhaps she just wants to make certain she has pointed you in a good direction and as a result is pointing you in a lot of directions she sees as good.

Sounds like an excellent type of person to have around, but it might be a good idea to find a tactful way of telling the truth, and I don't see this type of person getting offended at what Sonneillon suggested. If you say nothing bad about the other writer and just point out some differences which you find troubling, maybe it'll help guide her into being more helpful for you? :Shrug:

If nothing is said, I think these types of interactions in which you have to fake an uncomfortable smile may become more and more commonplace. At least, that has been my experience.

chartreuse · Mar 26, 2008

All I can say is that when I pick up a book and read the blurbs on the cover, I've never wonder if the author of the book I've picked up is a fan of the people blurbing it.

I guess I just never thought about it, but I don't see that it matters. Unless you're overflowing with blurbs, I'd simply lie.

And if they expect you to return the favor one day? Just write such an incoherent blurb that they'll choose not to use it.

Star · Mar 27, 2008

HTML:

Just write such an incoherent blurb that they'll choose not to use it.

This is hilarious!

p.s. Funny, my mentor actually gave herself the title. LOL
Don't get me wrong, I love her. It's just that this relationship is new. Again, can't go into details, but trust that I appreciate all of your input.

Lub you all at AWWC! :Sun:

stormie · Mar 27, 2008

Star said:
p.s. Stormie, speaking of black. I must admit Gene slightly raised his eyebrows when he saw me - I think, in a good way - like WOW, my work has even reached the young AA generation (though I'm not that young)!

His work spans the generations. Timeless!

I told Gene that Young Frankenstein is my favorite. He nodded and said his favorite too. One last insignificant note. It was so weird to see Gene without his full curly head of hair. I know, I know, we age. But old pictures have a way of freezing icons in time. He still has the same smile though.

Oh, no! No curly hair? I probably wouldn't recognize him on the street. Except for, as you said, his smile. Love that smile! And his eyes.... From what I understand they all had such a great time making Young Frankenstein. What a cast--Cloris Leatchman(sp?), Madeline Kahn....

Star · Mar 27, 2008

Yep, sad to say, there are a few waves left, but not the full curly head. HOWEVER, I'm glad he hasn't opted for the rug. By the way, you should check out his book - though priced at twenty whooping dollars! I gripe because it's a small novel. But I love Gene, so I had to plunk down the cash!

http://www.amazon.com/dp/0312375786/?tag=absolutewritedm-20

Hmm, Amazon has it discounted already. How does this work? *puzzled*

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