OK, I think I'll give some more details now. The issue I had was a disagreement with the editor on my horsey novel. There were two words (jargon) she didn't know and wanted me to explain them in the story. I was reluctant to do this, because:
a) it would have been awkward
b) knowledge of the word didn't hamper the understanding of the story IMO as well as the opinion of another reader who does not know anything about horses
c) they're easy words to look up (and very common horsey words if you read horsey books)
d) the majority of people who buy this book are likely to either know horses or read enough horsey books that they'd know the words anyway and I didn't want to bore or alienate my readers
e) there could be other words in the book the reader doesn't know, say "exclaim" or "chuckle." Surely I can't anticipate all of them and define them all. It would just get ridiculous...The Series of Unfortunate Events did that, but that was the whole premise of the books, so it worked for them
f) other books in this genre don't define every single word
g) there are scenes later in the book where it becomes clearer what these words mean. I'd be willing to bolster those to make it clearer, because I could do that without bogging down the story, but it would just be awkward where the words first appear.
Any thoughts, given this new information? I wanted to keep it as unbiased as possible for your initial reactions.