Crisis of Confidence

I find someone and hug them. Then ask them to tell me if I'm any good.

Most of the time, they say, "Uh...who are you?"

Then I remember this only works with family members...not people at the bus stop.

Ah, my, I feel a Crazy World of Arthur Brown song a-comin' on:

When you can't cling on to the past
'Cause you're not proud of anything you've done
And each moment seems like your last
Because you've lost before you've run...

His advice, however, is that 'you can lean on me, and take mah eyes to see...'

Easier said than done. But if you happen to spot Arthur Brown, you could try leaning on him.

I talk to my characters. They believe in me

I turn on some music, VERY loud and I sing to it. I work out and I get busy doing something with my hands that's productive. Something like housework or dejunking and I talk out loud to myself about what I'm going through.

I know, I'm a nutter but you knew that

I get up and walk away for a while. Do some gardening, clean the bathroom - something that's going to keep my hands busy and allow me time to think. When I start thinking like that it's time for a break. Sometimes a couple of hours is fine, sometimes it's a couple of days or longer before I go back to the story. I just need that break.

I re-read my stuff, both completed and in progress. And I remind myself that all geniuses, all successful people, everyone who did anything of import, large or small, faced far more people telling them they'd fail and were no good, etc., than had supporters cheering them on.

For me, this works every time.

Cassiopeia said:

I turn on some music, VERY loud and I sing to it. I work out and I get busy doing something with my hands that's productive. Something like housework or dejunking and I talk out loud to myself about what I'm going through.

I know, I'm a nutter but you knew that

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Seriously - all of my friends know I have two 'phases', (not 'personalities' - them, I gots t'ousands and t'ousands of! *Grin*).

When I'm writing, they know not to disturb me unless it's something quite important... on the other hand, when I'm NOT writing, I *want* to be disturbed!

Mainly, though, I cook. I'm talking full, four-to-seven-course meals, with all the trimmings. part of it is 'apology' to my friends for ignore them when I'm writing... and part of it is just because, dang it, I LIKE to cook!

This is also the time I tend to do all the stuff I've been putting off - laundry and house-cleaning above the 'just good enough' stage, for example...

I go to youtube and I look at this clip

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jHPOzQzk9Qo

And then i eat some chocolate. (that pretty much applies to any situation, good or bad.)

then i find a dog to play with.

and then i say, "right, get off your arse and stop feeling sorry for yourself" (because in times of self-doubt i manifest a british accent, in times of extreme trauma and stress it's an irish accent.)

and then i have some more chocolate. (no reason, it just makes me happy)

and then i write something. because no matter what, i cant stop that. i try, believe me, i try but it never lasts long. because it's what we were made to do. so we do it.

i play with my dogs. they think i can do anything because i am the bestower of treats, toys, and love.

Zoombie said:

Then I remember this only works with family members...not people at the bus stop.

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also, my dogs can't file a restraining order.

i avoid my family like the plague! these are the folks who can piss on my parade in the best of times. i hang out here and listen to what you guys have to say. post a few things. aw is the best therapy for now--s6

This happened to me today -- actually, it was the culmination of a whole week of feeling really down on myself and my writing. This afternoon was bad. If I'd smacked my laptop keyboard any harder, I don't think I'd be typing this right now. Word to the wise: your computer is your friend. Don't torture it.

What I did: I cleaned the house. Not just minor dusting and straightening, but hardcore scrubbing of mirrors and even the detailing on the bathroom door. I took my dog for a long walk. There was no one else around, so I talked to him a bit. Tried to work out some of my writing problems out loud. When we returned, I talked to my husband, who believes I can do no wrong, writing-wise. This is very nice sometimes, but at other times, it's a problem. I mean, he didn't read more than a few pages of my first draft, but he's convinced that it would have been publishable. Um, no. That thing wasn't just unpublishable, it was unreadable.

I thanked him for his support and went back to cleaning the house.

My family was coming over for dinner, so I had a good 3 - 4 hours that I was distracted by cooking and family rather than writing. When I returned to my computer this evening, I could look at my stuff with a fresher head. I eased myself back into it. Read some earlier drafts of my novel and then looked at my current draft. I realized how much better I've made the novel
in the last year and a half, and told myself that I could continue to make it better if only I put my hands on the keyboard and wrote something. So that's what I've been doing for the last two hours or so -- just writing with the vague goal of making the current draft better than the last draft. Which, believe me, isn't hard to do.

I'm just going to leave you with a quote from John Adams: "Let us dare to read, think, speak, and write."

Dare to write and dare to not be the greatest the first time around. Just don't give up on yourself.

I get a member of my writing group to smack me. Then I move forward.

I ask my husband if he thinks I'm wasting my time. Lucky for me, he is very patient and tells me yet again that he thinks I'm going to get published and make gobs of money to support us both. (though even in my most self confident periods, I don't believe this )

Besides that, I usually just take a step back and ask myself why I'm writing. When it comes down to it, I write for enjoyment. I love the worlds I dive into and the characters, etc, etc. Of course I want to get published, but if I never get published? Well, I'll still have the enjoyment of the time spent writing.

I really struggled with getting to the place where I can feel that way though. Before I found this new outlook, I had a period where I wondered if I should just give it up because I didn't think I was any good. So I really had to take a step back and look at why I was doing it and what I was getting out of it, right now. And that's when I realized all that I was gaining from spending so much time writing and editing, etc.

On a completely off-topic note, I see you're from Long Island. Most of my mom's side of the family lives there. I love Long Island. Kinda wish I'd grown up there instead of here

I spend time with my horses. I can trust them not to be dishonest with their love and affection, and a trip to the stable always heals my heart when I'm feeling down.

Except for the mare.... she just causes me pain... lol

I come in here and move threads around
Seriously though, this seems relevant outside Novels too, so I'm moving to the Roundtable.

Also I whine to my writer's group, and Zak will inevitably laugh at me & call me "Seller of Stories", which makes me feel better.

Now bear in mind with my advice than I'm not published (as an author of fiction). With that, I proudly offer my advice for beating the blues.

I find that any sort of seeking of harmony only slows me down. If I get slow, I get lazy and thus produce very little. What gets me back on track is caffeine, for one. Loud, angry music that trumpets a message I can atleast empathize with if not outright believe in (ie, metal, gangsta rap, etc)...

Playing with my dogs helps because they are big, fast, strong and aggressive.. just like I want my writing to be!

And if all else fails... focus on some sort of "reason" you're fighting the war with words...

I don't expect this to sound terribly sane to anyone who's not got the sort of personality I do... the rest of you seem to enjoy being calmed.. I enjoy getting stoked

Both ways work, I just wanted to offer an alternative

Right now I'm resisting the urge to just sleep through it. Finding a way through those times I am not inspired is proving quite difficult.

I guess we'll have to see which impulse is ultimately stronger.

I angst with great and shameless melodrama, driving everyone within hearing distance far, far away.


Ok, not really. Or not that often.


It sounds like you need a break. I hit a low point in my opinion of my writing skills every few months, more often if I'm deep in editing. It can be healthy to a degree, but when everything looks awful and it starts to actually get in the way of writing, I give myself a few days off, spend some time outside, or with friends & family, so I'm nowhere near the computer. Physical activity and fresh air especially seem to snap me out of it.

I recently hit one of those. It helped to remember why I was writing in the first place. Once I did, I had the strength and courage to continue. I realized I was in love with the written language and that sharing my stories with the world was important to me. I might have quit anyway, however, without some support from AbsoluteWrite.

(You guys are awesome.)

Andrhia said:

What do you do to get through those times of self-doubt?

I think most everyone has them. The times when uncertainty fills your lungs and you can't see value in the work you've done, and when no amount of validation or admiration seems to matter.

Surely there are coping mechanisms out there. So tell me, please, what do you do to beat the blues?

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Uncertainty is the mud in your lungs. Your ability and your desire are the water. What you do is you flush out the mud.

When I have the blues I lie down in the grass and imagine myself an ant. I feel the sun on my face and I blink and I blink. I pluck a blade of grass...try to get it out in one pristine piece, and I chew on it. I look closely at it and wonder at this thing called grass. I remember that there are so many things in the universe and I am just one such thing. I compare myself to the grass. I can sit up and feel the sun on my face. The grass can stretch to the sun and explode its chlorophyll into pretty. I, on the other hand, can only smile and burn. Grass is so much cooler than me. BUT... I can walk away. The grass has to stay where it is. That must be a drag. I mean, really. How do I beat the blues? I experience the world around me and then, because I can, I write about it... in little chunks. Maybe a sentence, maybe a word. Maybe a poem. I just write on through until the words match the wonder I feel. And then I know I can make it out to the other side. Grass can't ponder, either. We are blessed to be able to ponder... especially to be able to ponder through words dropped onto a page one at a time in an order that might be random and might be fixed. Just realize what you are capable of, that you and you alone... humans, that is... are given the gift of self-reflection and the wonder of writing. It's a gift. A gift is something that is already good just in being. Don't worry about the mud. The prettiest flower in all the world grows out from the mud. And so do the words you write when you are too busy thinking you have to somehow quantify and qualify them. Just write.

ETA: Oh...and I find my dog and play with her too. (-;