WHAT HE SEES???

Hmmmm... that souds like a backward, underhanded way of avoiding using either the word "we" or a straight up camera direction.

I confess I've never seen it used before. And I have no idea how "welcome" it is (or isn't).

I defer to those more experienced than I.

I would go with "He sees..." in the description block instead. It implies his POV.

I've been meditating on this and I keep thinking there were two things that prompted the writer to go that route:

1) He was trying to mimic a comic book style to the intended imagery. In comics, the script writer can control which page that the images fall upon (or, he can control the hypothetical "camera" of the entire comic). And one very old and still effective trick is to save a REALLY juicy image for THE NEXT PAGE. You turn a page and WHAM! --a REALLY scary/tension-filled image hits you! So I feel like the scriptwriter here was trying to capture that same sort of drama that a comic book page-turn would have afforded him. Had this script been done as a comic book, I imagine the bottom of Page 7 (and Page 7 will be a right-hand page for the purpose of this example) where the second-to-the-last panel on that page shows us a close-up side-shot of Indie on the ground, panting after having escaped the temple and the rolling boulder. But then in the FINAL panel o the botto of Page 7 he pauses, and slowly looks up. So then we turn the page. Page 8 is a full-page image where we see the back-side of Indie in just the lower one-fourth of the page as he lies upon the ground, looking up at the towering, dark, and menacing figure of Borroq and all those armed and war-painted tribesmen standing over him. The tribesmen and Borroq take up most of the page. Indie (his back to us) is dwarfed on the ground as he kneels before them. We see little "distress lines" radiating out of Indie's fedora.

2) Neither Borroq nor the tribesmen had been introduced before. So he could NOT have the slug line read: BORROQ AND THE TRIBESMEN. So he had to do an intro--and I think it was a very effective way to do this intro. It had all the startling impact of that hypothetical page-turn from Page 7 to Page 8.

It's not a convention that I would use. I'd probably put it into the descriptive block as well. It is kind of sidling up to the dreaded "We see..." and not quite as intrusive as the slug INDY'S POV - For my own choice, I prefer to suggest what he sees with a paragraph break.

Indy lies on the ground gasping for air. A shadow falls
across him and he looks up.

Three menacing figures block the sun.

Two are HOVITOS WARRIORS....


But that's just my approach. These conventions do come and go, despite the more or less rigid overall format rules. The Indy script is what, 27 years old by now? And Lucas and Kaufman didn't have to get their own script approved by a second level reader before it got to them - so reading a self written/directed script should be taken with a grain of salt.

Really, the thing to constantly ask yourself, does the description EVOKE the image you want in the reader's mind, or does it jolt them out of the story flow. That's why I like to hand a script to somebody who DOESN'T know script conventions to read. The highest compliment is for them to say "It was just like I could see it in my head!" And most recently on my newest script, I got some really high praise from someone "Not only could I see it just like a movie, I could HEAR it too!"

Bottom line - put it on the page and keep writing. Don't obsess over these little details. "Don't get it right, get it written." You're going to go back over it a dozen times anyway, then you can try a few changes if it seems awkward.

Keep pounding away at the keys.

This is how I would write it and this is acceptable:

Indy lies on the ground gasping for air. A shadow falls across him. He looks up. HE SEES--

THREE MEN: TWO HOVITOS WARRIORS in full battle paint and loin cloths. They carry long blow guns. In the center is EMILE BELLOQ, a tall... etc., etc., etc.

I've seen it used a fair few times, most notably in TV scripts like 24 and Lost. I'm sure cogent arguments can be made pro/con for its use but I think it would be safer to leave it out if the work is a spec by an unknown writer.

does it really matter?

Yes.

If you look at the "does it really matter?" question from a philosophical "we are but grains of sand on an infinite beach hurtling through a void with no beginning or end, does anything we say or do matter?" perspective, I think you'll come up with a different answer.

Are you back, or just passing through?

-Derek

Well, I was going to shunt Nikee's question to the Religious and Spiritual Writing board because I think it has existential value but then I remembered a scientific theory proposing that all matter exists in all places at all times and realised that Nikee's question is already present there in an alternate reality, on a dark matter-shrouded parallel universe writing forum anyway, so what would be the point?

(That's the same alternate universe where I'm still on holiday, btw. )

i've been banned from the spiritual and religious writing board and i know nothing about science. but i do have some theories.

i may be wrong, but i'm never in doubt.