Assumption is the mother of all f-ups

ToddWBush · Mar 12, 2008

Knowing that, as one horribly bad movie said, the title of this thread is true, how much should a writer assume the reader already knows? Are certain things just taken as common knowledge or should the writer never assume the reader knows something that he/she already knows?

For instance in my WIP, I have the following exchange between my two protagonists, both of whom are detectives:
“How do you want to handle this pressing matter with Mrs. Steinberg’s missing jewels?”

“Well, Pumpkin, I was hoping you’d finish up the paperwork and I’d make the call to dear old Mrs. Steinberg to inform her that neither her sister, nor her husband, are of this earth, and that no bookie in the known world would give odds on the Dolphins making the playoffs, much less the Super Bowl.” Mahady hated pet names and was a huge Dolphins fan.

“Like your precious Saints have a chance in hell either.” Ok, so she was a good cop, I’ll give her that. I was a huge New Orleans Saints fan, since my homestate Mississippi didn’t have an NFL team.

One of my critters said this about this section:
"You’re not giving him enough credibility as a South Floridian. He would have said Fin fan after 1st reference.."

My question is this: can I assume that anyone reading the book (which is in first person) would know what a "Fin fan" or a "Dol-fan" was just to give my lead character some credibility as someone who currently resides in South Florida? Or am I right to never assume the reader knows certain things?

Or does this question make absolutely no sense?

IceCreamEmpress · Mar 12, 2008

ToddWBush said:
My question is this: can I assume that anyone reading the book (which is in first person)

Wait, why would the person who wasn't a fan of the Dolphins necessarily describe someone who was as a "Fin fan"? I would think that that would be a phrase that only Dolphins fans and headline-writers used.

ToddWBush · Mar 12, 2008

I completely agree, Ice. But, after talking with this particular critter, they were adament that calling the other character a "Dol-fan" or a "Fins fan" would give my lead more credibility as someone who lives in South Florida. Because a person who resides down here in Dolphin country would say that.

But the main character is a) not originally from the area, and b) not "telling the story" to those who are just from South Florida.

Hence my question...

Honalo · Mar 12, 2008

have him use Fin-Fan or Dol-Fan when he talks - refer to Dolphins in exposition.
That's my advice.

DeleyanLee · Mar 12, 2008

After the first full reference "Dolphins fan", I could follow what a "Dol-fan" was. A "Fin-fan" would've taken more thought and might need a phrase of explanation, but wouldn't be hard to follow after that.

And, FWIW, I'm not even a sports fan.

IceCreamEmpress · Mar 12, 2008

ToddWBush said:
Because a person who resides down here in Dolphin country would say that.

But the main character is a) not originally from the area, and b) not "telling the story" to those who are just from South Florida.

If your character wouldn't say it, don't have him say it. If he's not originally from Florida, I doubt he would think of Dolphins fans as "Fins fans" no matter how popular it is.

I think your critiquer is being silly.

Sarpedon · Mar 12, 2008

Well, I've never heard the term before, but if you say 'dolphins' and 'dol-fan' in close proximity to each other, even a reader who is frequently slow on the uptake, like me, should be able to figure it out.

ToddWBush · Mar 12, 2008

IceCreamEmpress said:
If your character wouldn't say it, don't have him say it... I think your critiquer is being silly.

Ice, it's funny you say that. In another section of the same chapter (it's chapter 3 of the novel, and the introduction of my main protagonists), I have my main character describing his female partner. Of course, being a cop and a former military cop, he's a bit of a chauvinist. Oh, who am I kidding, he's a lot of a chauvinist. His description of her is in his words, just as he would say them.

My critiquer deleted the whole section, saying, "this is just juvenile... 'easy on the eyes' would work just as well and be a lot tighter."

While I do appreciate the need for tightening up my writing, I'm not going to change who my character is and what he says to meet the sensibilities of just one critiquer. My character is who is, love him or hate him. And although he's a chauvinist in his description of how his female partner looks, he is a good person underneath.

Dreamer3702 · Mar 12, 2008

Who is your critiquer?

I ask because I would cringe at the phrase "easy on the eyes." That's telling not showing and the phrase is a little cheesy.

RJK · Mar 12, 2008

My 2 cents

I've read dozens of books where the author used local slang, or, in the case of SF made up terms, that I occassionally never got, or sometimes took me a long time to figure out. It didn't kill the story.
On the other hand, if the book were filled with that kind of newspeak, I'd throw the book across the room.

JJ Cooper · Mar 12, 2008

ToddWBush said:
Ice, it's funny you say that. In another section of the same chapter (it's chapter 3 of the novel, and the introduction of my main protagonists), I have my main character describing his female partner. Of course, being a cop and a former military cop, he's a bit of a chauvinist. Oh, who am I kidding, he's a lot of a chauvinist. His description of her is in his words, just as he would say them.

My critiquer deleted the whole section, saying, "this is just juvenile... 'easy on the eyes' would work just as well and be a lot tighter."

While I do appreciate the need for tightening up my writing, I'm not going to change who my character is and what he says to meet the sensibilities of just one critiquer. My character is who is, love him or hate him. And although he's a chauvinist in his description of how his female partner looks, he is a good person underneath.

I think your original question has been addressed. I just want to point out something that stuck as soon as I read it - my bold above. Three chapters seems a long time before you introduce your MCs. I note from another thread that you are a Michael Connelly fan - I can't recall his books waiting three chapters before Detective Bosch or his other MCs are introduced. Food for thought perhaps.

JJ

Stijn Hommes · Mar 12, 2008

Make the characters talk like the would in "real life".
You can always use surrounding text and events to explain it in case the reader doesn't know. If you seed a radio show with a result of the team earlier in the book for example, your reader wouldn't bat an eye lash when you mention it later on.

Assumption is the mother of all f-ups

ToddWBush

IceCreamEmpress

Hapless Virago

ToddWBush

Honalo

DeleyanLee

Writing Anarchist

IceCreamEmpress

Hapless Virago

Sarpedon

ToddWBush

Dreamer3702

a real life cupcake

RJK

Sheriff Bullwinkle the Poet says:

JJ Cooper

.

Stijn Hommes

Know what you write...