What do you want to do better?

KarlaErikaCal · Mar 10, 2008

I ask this question in order for us to share what our weaknesses are in writing so that others may give any tips they can offer.

I'll start it off.

No matter how hard I try, I end up telling instead of showing. Is there a way I can get around this? Any exercises I can try? Or any other tips?

I have another question I came up with based on what another person said about my writing. How do you balance the amount of dialogue and narration? I tend to have too much dialogue.

I hope that this thread can help you guys!

Shweta · Mar 10, 2008

I have a very hard time with "News you can use" -- figuring out what information a reader needs right now and what can wait.

It's generally something I can fix in post, but it's driving me up the wall right now!

KarlaErikaCal · Mar 10, 2008

Oh and one more thing, if you're answering a question or giving tips, make sure you quote them. I'm sure people knew this, but I just had to put in a reminder

DeleyanLee · Mar 10, 2008

I wish I could listen to Story better--but that just comes with practice.

KarlaErikaCal · Mar 10, 2008

Shweta said:
I have a very hard time with "News you can use" -- figuring out what information a reader needs right now and what can wait.

It's generally something I can fix in post, but it's driving me up the wall right now!

I would ask the following questions:
Should the reader know it now to understand the story better? Did I reveal too many things close together? If I save it for later, what does it do for the story?
Ask yourself those kinds of question, and it might help you to picture things better.

Shweta · Mar 10, 2008

KC36 said:
No matter how hard I try, I end up telling instead of showing. Is there a way I can get around this? Any exercises I can try? Or any other tips?

I think I do have a tip or three for this one.
When you describe a setting or situation, think: where is the light coming from?

Otherwise, more generally, focus on sensory details. What's the character seeing/hearing/tasting/touching/smelling? Often if you step into a darkish room, you're smelling it before you see it. Part of this is: where's the protagonist's weight? How hard are the surfaces they're touching?

And the third: what do the characters do as a result of their emotional states? If you say "He was angry" that's telly; if you say "He ripped the wedding photograph out of its frame and fed it to the fire" that shows us he's angry.

DeleyanLee said:
I wish I could listen to Story better--but that just comes with practice.

What do you mean by "listen to story"?
It's a lovely phrase

Do you mean have a sense of the shape of the story?

Prawn · Mar 10, 2008

What do you want to do better?

Sell books.

Serena Casey · Mar 10, 2008

I really wish I could stop relying on those somewhat unnecessary modifiers that make my writing sort of weak.

See what I mean?

Shweta · Mar 10, 2008

KC36 said:
I would ask the following questions:
Should the reader know it now to understand the story better? Did I reveal too many things close together? If I save it for later, what does it do for the story?
Ask yourself those kinds of question, and it might help you to picture things better.

Yeah, I do that

I just don't know the answers, at least on a first draft.
When I write short stories, I know what needs to come in when. The novel is too big for my brain.

Prawn said:
What do you want to do better?

Sell books.

...Work at a bookstore? Only way I could manage that so far

Linda Adams · Mar 10, 2008

What do you want to do better?

Write longer. For many years, I wrote short stories, so where other people tend to run over and have to edit, I tend to run under and have to add (in addition to editing, which cuts the word count). Believe me, it's a lot easier to cut than to go through an entire manuscript and try to figure out how to add 15K without filling!

What's helped so far: Writing in omniscient rather than third. I normally write in third as a first choice, but I did a Viewpoint Workshop. As part of the workshop, I had to rewrite the same scene over in the different viewpoints. I addressed each one as a major rewrite rather than just changing the words a little, and I found myself adding more to the story in the different viewpoints. The original piece was 500 words and turned into 1200.

How do you balance the amount of dialogue and narration? I tend to have too much dialogue.

Try writing the scenes in different viewpoints. Most of where I saw the increase was in the narrative.

KarlaErikaCal · Mar 10, 2008

Shweta said:
I think I do have a tip or three for this one.
When you describe a setting or situation, think: where is the light coming from?

Otherwise, more generally, focus on sensory details. What's the character seeing/hearing/tasting/touching/smelling? Often if you step into a darkish room, you're smelling it before you see it. Part of this is: where's the protagonist's weight? How hard are the surfaces they're touching?

And the third: what do the characters do as a result of their emotional states? If you say "He was angry" that's telly; if you say "He ripped the wedding photograph out of its frame and fed it to the fire" that shows us he's angry.

Thanks Shweta! I'll be sure to think of those questions more often. Heck, I'll write what you said in my writing journal, too.

Prawn · Mar 10, 2008

Serena Casey said:
I really wish I could stop relying on those somewhat unnecessary modifiers that make my writing sort of weak.

You mean adverbs? There's only one in there.

Cranky · Mar 10, 2008

I wish I knew how to articulate what it is that I need to be doing better. My writing is okay. It's not stellar, it's not horrible.

If I had to pick a word to describe it, I'd use "meh." Or, even better, "staid".

Maybe I should just read more? I don't know.

Cranky · Mar 10, 2008

Serena Casey said:
I really wish I could stop relying on those somewhat unnecessary modifiers that make my writing sort of weak.

See what I mean?

I'll have to post a link later (it's on my laptop), but I found a program on here that highlights "ly" words and such for you. Then, you can sort of weed through the text and toss the ones that are really unnecessary. Seeing them all highlighted like that can be a real eye opener.

I'll get back to you with the link, but if anyone here has it, that would be awesome. I found it here on AW, after all.

KarlaErikaCal · Mar 10, 2008

Serena Casey said:
I really wish I could stop relying on those somewhat unnecessary modifiers that make my writing sort of weak.

See what I mean?

Here's a few things I've learned:

If you're piling on the modifiers, try to cut it to using only one
Try to replace them with unusual ones
Use stronger nouns and verbs Ex. He breathed heavily. He gasped for breath.
Maybe try out an analogy, simile, or metaphor Ex. The man was tall, heavy, overgrown. He was built like a bear.

Try any of those out to see which ones work best with your excess modifiers.

Prawn · Mar 10, 2008

Roger J Carlson is the go to guy for this: http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=11653

Cranky · Mar 10, 2008

Prawn said:
Roger J Carlson is the go to guy for this: http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=11653

Prawn, you rock! Thanks for digging that up. I was still wading through stuff trying to find it, lol.

KarlaErikaCal · Mar 10, 2008

Linda Adams said:
Try writing the scenes in different viewpoints. Most of where I saw the increase was in the narrative.

What do you mean by writing it in different viewpoints?

Shweta · Mar 10, 2008

Cranky said:
I wish I knew how to articulate what it is that I need to be doing better. My writing is okay. It's not stellar, it's not horrible.

If I had to pick a word to describe it, I'd use "meh." Or, even better, "staid".

Maybe I should just read more? I don't know.

Maybe you should read, or try to write (at least exercises) outside your comfort zone? You sound frustrated because you're painted into a corner.

Another thing you could do is find writing exercises you can just play with, not serious writing at all. For example, one of our Clarion exercises was, one person comes up with an IF statement, another with a THEN statement (without talking to each other). You use that compound, utterly nonsensical, IF/THEN statement as a starting point and just start writing.

For example, one person in a pair in my class came up with "If frogs were purple". The other came up with "Then the mountain will explode". And they both had to just write, for five minutes, with "If frogs were purple then the mountain will explode" as their first sentence/jumping off point.

Cranky · Mar 10, 2008

Shweta said:
Maybe you should read, or try to write (at least exercises) outside your comfort zone? You sound frustrated because you're painted into a corner.

Another thing you could do is find writing exercises you can just play with, not serious writing at all. For example, one of our Clarion exercises was, one person comes up with an IF statement, another with a THEN statement (without talking to each other). You use that compound, utterly nonsensical, IF/THEN statement as a starting point and just start writing.

For example, one person in a pair in my class came up with "If frogs were purple". The other came up with "Then the mountain will explode". And they both had to just write, for five minutes, with "If frogs were purple then the mountain will explode" as their first sentence/jumping off point.

Interesting idea. Hmmm. I know there is an online plot generator thingy/prompt that might be the perfect thing for an exercise like that. Thanks, Shweta!

DeleyanLee · Mar 10, 2008

Shweta said:
What do you mean by "listen to story"?
It's a lovely phrase
Do you mean have a sense of the shape of the story?

Exactly what I said, actually--listen to Story.

When writing flows, it's because I can "hear Story singing" to me and I don't have to think, I can just write and watch everything unfold as Story is revealed to me. At the end of the scene, I go back and make sure things are grammatically understandable and sentences say what was meant, but then I just go back to listening to Story and lettting words flow.

I can do this about 40% of the time when I'm writing. I want to do it all the time.

Shweta · Mar 10, 2008

Ahh. I think I'd call that channelling

Toothpaste · Mar 10, 2008

I wish I could to BIC better. Or rather, Microsoft Word on screen. That's what I should be doing right now. Not AW.

Cranky · Mar 10, 2008

Shweta said:
Ahh. I think I'd call that channelling

Or creative sleep.

There was an interesting article in a thread about that just the other day, I think.

Shweta · Mar 10, 2008

BIC time, Toothpaste! I want the next book

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