Sending Wrong Message?

Hedgetrimmer · Mar 1, 2008

In the chapter book I'm working on currently, my MC has to help his little sister find her favorite stuffed animal by orders of Mom. Of course Jace is reluctant to do so, preferring instead to spend his Saturday reading his new comic. But, of course, he does help her look because his mom told him to.

Now, that's how things work in the "real" world. Kids do what their parents tell them to do because they have to. But this doesn't seem like enough of a drive to sustain a fictional character. So I'm toying with the idea of his sister bribing him with her dessert to make him look harder, as she thinks he is only going through the motions because their mother is making him.

Does this send the wrong message to kids, that it's not enough to perform a task to the best of your ability simply because your parents told you to do so but that there has to be something tangible in the deal as well?

Or am I being too analytical about it all?

TnTexas · Mar 1, 2008

Personally, I think it's being a bit analytical - but then I'm not published and I'm neither an agent nor an editor so take my opinion for the penny it's worth.

Symphony · Mar 1, 2008

Ho hum, I'm thinking of reactions from my 9-year-old when told to help his 6-year-old sister to find something. Now, there are times when he'll oblige because he's in an angelic sort of a mood - but even then the two of them have probably worked out something beforehand (for example, if we find the stuffed animal then we can use him to prop up the tent pegs or whatever ... you know - that kind of thing. Maybe they're going to put it under Dad's pillow so it'll be uncomfortable or something ...) Anyway - if they do it together they've probably already got a hidden agenda.

If it's strictly under Mum's orders I predict a lot of stomping feet on the stairs and bad-tempered throwing around, etc. etc. Definitely more bribery needed here - but the little one wouldn't have a clue that older bruv has or hasn't reasons to help - she wouldn't analyse like this. The bribe would have to come from the brother "Ok, I help you find your stupid toy and you don't tell mom I broke your new pencil ..." Something like that.

Either way - I think your choices are simply a matter of 'natural' children's behaviour. I don't think you should worry about 'teaching' kids anything. Kids don't learn bad behaviour from books (read Horrid Henry ...), never have done and never will. They do, however, LOVE to read about it - the nastier and more horrible the better!!!!! That's what gets them reading and I'm guessing that this is, after all, your goal?

Good luck. Hope this helps a little?

Symphony

Hedgetrimmer · Mar 1, 2008

Yeah, you're probably both right. I don't think kids would read anything in the behavior. I suppose I'm mainly concerned with what adults might think. You know how adults are--Blah blah blah blah blah.

Seriously, though, I was thinking that some form of external motivation other than Mom's word would be needed. The book is a mystery series, and it just seems appropriate that my MC would need a very real goal to achieve in helping his sister find the toy.

Symphony -- Your examples do help.

Symphony · Mar 1, 2008

Perhaps he suddenly realises that helping to find the toy is exactly the excuse he needed to spend time alone ....... in that room? Or with his sister? Or looking out over the park? Something like that???

(dunno - just a few crazy ideas)

Hedgetrimmer · Mar 1, 2008

I've been thinking about the piece all morning, basically just listening and waiting for the story to tell me what it's trying to do. As this is a chapter book, I know I can't get into any subplots, but what I'm hearing is that Roo-Roo (that's the stuffed kangaroo) is right up under Jace's nose. When his friends drop by to drag him off to play, he has to turn them down, to which they basically blow him off and maybe even poke fun at his having to stay home and help his little sister. In the end, when he finds the toy, he comes to understand one of the clues his mother has given him (the idea that what we seek is usually closer than we realize), and that while friends certainly matter (true friends), nothing can ever take the place of family.

Now, I don't plan to spell this all out for the reader. It's simply one of driving themes that I'm working with that, hopefully, will help give shape to the overall plot.

I may post the first chapter in SYW to see if I'm even on the right track.

HeronW · Mar 1, 2008

Maybe finding the toy gives your MC a clue to something he needs or wants?

Hedgetrimmer · Mar 1, 2008

HeronW said:
Maybe finding the toy gives your MC a clue to something he needs or wants?

Hmmmmm. A clue upon a clue. Interesting.

Stijn Hommes · Mar 2, 2008

Fictional kids tend to do stuff they're not allowed to all the time. I wouldn't worry about it too much. In this case reality is more important than teaching.

Trish · Mar 2, 2008

She could threaten to "dob" on him for something naughty he's done, to get him to look for the stuffed animal.

MsJudy · Mar 2, 2008

And the trend these days is rather anti-moral-lesson, if you know what I mean. Junie B. Jones is so hilarious BECAUSE she says and does all the "wrong" things. In my opinion, worry less about sending the "wrong" message and give yourself permission to push the envelope a little farther...

Until I put a stop to it, my younger son would pay his big brother to play with him. Spent his whole allowance that way one month...

Sending Wrong Message?

Hedgetrimmer

What happened, just there?

TnTexas

Symphony

Hedgetrimmer

What happened, just there?

Symphony

Hedgetrimmer

What happened, just there?

HeronW

Down Under Fan

Hedgetrimmer

What happened, just there?

Stijn Hommes

Know what you write...

Trish

MsJudy