Target Audience shift

Hulaz · Feb 26, 2008

[FONT=&quot]Hello board!
Since being swept up in the excitement of writing my own little novel i've made it to the 1st re-write and noticed a problem.

About half way through the story, it curves (albeit slowly) into rather extreme darkness. What i mean is, i started writing this book with a clear plot outline and it seemed to flow nicely, but when it's came to writing it, the dialogue and situations have turned out much darker than expected, mostly this is towards the end, but it's obvious early in the middle section.

My worry is that i started writing a story which would have been at least accessible to younger audiences (in particular young teenagers), but by the end certain events, which just have to occur and are IMO the best parts of the book, completely negate all that came before.

There's no real swearing, nothing that would make your gran blush, but there's some pretty violent scenes in it. And even if i lose some of the descriptive language i use, the scenes themselves, involving the death of men, women, children and their pets, are still pretty nasty.

So my question is whether i should bowdlerise the end of my story, censor it in the hopes of maybes, one day, getting it published and sacrifice some core character and plot developments, radically changing the outset of the book and essentially watering it down.
Or should i try and rewrite scenes in the beginning to make it feel like a more grown up story (whatever that is), or leave it and hope there's some market for it.

Thanks in advance for any advice!
Chris[/FONT]

Will Lavender · Feb 26, 2008

More than the "audience shift," I would worry about the general shift in tone.

If the tone shifts in a way that isn't seamless, the reader can be left feeling manipulated. Or, worse, the book can have the overall feel of sloppiness -- as if you didn't really intend for the shift to happen, it just showed up unannounced.

(Having said that, there are some novels where the shift in tone is completely intended and works beautifully. I'm thinking here of novels where the POV turns, or where the plot veers off into another direction that changes the tone and tenor of the voice itself.)

However, the big issue here is this: Is the "darkness" necessary? If it is, then leave it in. Good writing will sell, even if it's dark and nasty. If it isn't necessary to the narrative, then cut it out.

Shweta · Feb 26, 2008

I'd like to echo Will. Seems to me like, unless the tone-shift serves the story, you'll want to change it one way or the other.

It also seems to me that you're looking at your options as either "rewriting" the beginning or "censoring/watering down" the end -- which makes it quite clear which one you should do. You've pretty much said it yourself right there.

I do want to ask -- are you familiar with current YA books? There is a lot of gritty darkness in a lot of them. I suspect that in some ways older-YA fiction is (overall) edgier than adult fiction.

ETA: And there are some excellent threads on this over in "Writing for Young Adults." Do take a peek at Shady's Edgy YA thread and the list of good & edgy YA thread.

Death Wizard · Feb 26, 2008

Depending on how well you handle it, this kind of swerve can be unnervingly effective. The movie From Dusk Till Dawn comes to mind.

It will, however, cost you young readers.

But you're talking two different issues.

Sage · Feb 26, 2008

Come hang out in the YA subforum. We'll convince you that dark is not a problem for YA

I agree with the above advice about being more worried about the shift in tone in the book itself, not a shift in audience. I'd add hints of the coming darkness (if you don't completely darken the beginning) and send it to betas when you're done without asking them to watch out for it and see if it's a problem.

Shweta · Feb 26, 2008

Also --

to the boards!

veinglory · Feb 26, 2008

How long were you working on the book for? I think if intent, tone and even skill level shift strongly during a book it can be a problem. If the first half is also somewhat weaker you might want to prune some of it off and concentrate what the book actually became rather than what it was originally intended to be? Just my 2c.

Shady Lane · Feb 26, 2008

Shweta said:
I'd like to echo Will. Seems to me like, unless the tone-shift serves the story, you'll want to change it one way or the other.

It also seems to me that you're looking at your options as either "rewriting" the beginning or "censoring/watering down" the end -- which makes it quite clear which one you should do. You've pretty much said it yourself right there.

I do want to ask -- are you familiar with current YA books? There is a lot of gritty darkness in a lot of them. I suspect that in some ways older-YA fiction is (overall) edgier than adult fiction.

ETA: And there are some excellent threads on this over in "Writing for Young Adults." Do take a peek at Shady's Edgy YA thread and the list of good & edgy YA thread.

Whoa, beat me to it!

Yep. I'm Shady. Check out my Edgy YA thread. It's sick.

bethany · Feb 26, 2008

And look at what YA's are reading in school. The classics that we choose for them are usualy the darkest and most violent things we can find in the cannon of great literature. I'm reading Night with my 10th graders right now. It's stark and it's real.(too real sometimes, I'm reading it three times a day) Darkness is appealing to the YA audience.

Hulaz · Feb 26, 2008

Thanks for the quick replies, i'll take a look at that thread on edgy YA fiction, seems like that's the sort of thing i was looking for. :hooray:

Sorry i'm still finding my way around here, walking with the map upside down

I'll get lurking around the YA forums, thanks Sage.

It also seems to me that you're looking at your options as either "rewriting" the beginning or "censoring/watering down" the end -- which makes it quite clear which one you should do. You've pretty much said it yourself right there.

Yeah i guess i was mostly looking for affirmation, i like the idea of planting ideas throughout, maybes substituting some of the 'nicer' scenes in the beginning for slightly darker stuff.

I do want to ask -- are you familiar with current YA books? There is a lot of gritty darkness in a lot of them. I suspect that in some ways older-YA fiction is (overall) edgier than adult fiction.

I was'nt planning on writing it for a particular age group as naive as that may be, i was writing it just as i would want to read it really. Started it at 18 after reading David Eddings, Pratchett, Gaimen, Garth Nix et al. and i'm now 20 and reading a lot of Stephen King.

If the tone shifts in a way that isn't seamless, the reader can be left feeling manipulated. Or, worse, the book can have the overall feel of sloppiness -- as if you didn't really intend for the shift to happen, it just showed up unannounced.

Problem is the first sections of the book are set in this world ,with only vague refrences to the 'Dark Earth' around, the MC's are'nt aware of much (until the catastophe which propells them into the main plot), although the tasks they're doing before the tone shift are integral later on, eg. A chance encounter with a stranger or one character's pliable sense of reality. Most of the darkness in the beginning is only hinted at, it's only until the middle of the book when events culminate in the decent into darkness. (The book is supposedly a fantasy set in this world, no magic powers per say, at least none for the MC's, i know it sounds confusing but it's getting there). I understand your point though, so i think i'll go ahead and plant some more, less subtle darkness in the opening sections.

Thanks for all the advice, it's really helpful to talk about writing with actual humans (i'm assuming) :tongue

.
Merci.

Shweta · Feb 26, 2008

Hulaz said:
I was'nt planning on writing it for a particular age group as naive as that may be, i was writing it just as i would want to read it really. Started it at 18 after reading David Eddings, Pratchett, Gaimen, Garth Nix et al. and i'm now 20 and reading a lot of Stephen King.

Which might have something to do with your change of tone

Though Gaiman and Nix both get pretty dark.

Thanks for all the advice, it's really helpful to talk about writing with actual humans (i'm assuming) .

Humans? They let humans in here? :scared:

Hulaz · Feb 26, 2008

I lied to get membership here, i'm as close to human as i'd like to admit to.

Though Gaiman and Nix both get pretty dark.

Gaimen and Nix do get dark, i agree, though Nix is still a guilty pleasure, i'm so in love with the Keys to the Kingdom series, at 20?!

Shweta · Feb 26, 2008

Hulaz said:
Gaimen and Nix do get dark, i agree, though Nix is still a guilty pleasure, i'm so in love with the Keys to the Kingdom series, at 20?!

Bah, so am I, at 30.
And so I will be, at 50. I read more kids/YA stuff now than I did as a kid. It's good!

Ervin · Feb 26, 2008

I have the same problem, except for mine it's natural. My story follows the MC around starting from age 13 to the late 20s or even 30s. Basically it goes from the regular kid life, to sex and genocide. Well I haven't gotten to the bad parts yet, but almost. In the end it ends up naturally covering a wide audience, older people might not like the first part, and younger people might find the later parts too dark.

I can't really think of anything to do about it.

Target Audience shift

Hulaz

Will Lavender

Everything is what it seems.

Shweta

gone

Death Wizard

Tumhe na koci puujetha

Sage

Our Lady of Parentheticals

Shweta

gone

veinglory

volitare nequeo

Shady Lane

my name is hannah

bethany

:)

Hulaz

Shweta

gone

Hulaz

Shweta

gone

Ervin