Internal Dialogue

escritora · Feb 25, 2008

Mija, my WIP, is written as an internal dialogue. I find that I'm using too many I's. I'm also telling rather than showing. Can anyone provide advice on how I can avoid those two issues?

Ellen Foster is the only book that comes to mind that is written as an internal dialogue. Can anyone recommend any others?

Danger Jane · Feb 25, 2008

I might be misinterpreting your definition of "internal dialogue", but I think The Waves by Virginia Woolf qualifies...the entire novel is the interior monologues of six characters. She uses a lot of vivid imagery to make their thoughts come alive, and I don't think she once uses the phrase "he thought".

escritora · Feb 25, 2008

Yes, I believe we are talking about the same thing. Thanks for the recommendation. Just the other day I mentioned that I've never read a book by Woolf. Funny how life works out. I'll definately read The Waves.

Hopcus · Feb 25, 2008

I love the internal dialogue in Missing Angel Juan by Francesca Lia Block. Her imagery is beautiful and her writing lyrical.

maestrowork · Feb 25, 2008

Internal monologue doesn't have to be all tell and no show nor a lot of "filtering" (I think, I see, etc.) Granted, if you're describing action it's difficult to not include the "I." Still, the trick is to find a way to show us the story (whether it's all external action or internal monologue) instead of telling us. Try using action, reference of external events, and the five senses.

By nature, 1st person is the closest thing to internal dialogue -- the narrator is telling a story. The difference is whether the narrator is telling "someone" a story or talking to himself. The techniques are very similar -- just the tone is slightly different. The best first person stories have a lot of externals: things that happen to the narrator, things he observes, etc. "Internal monologue" is just a literary device, not a fixed way of telling a story -- try to avoid a lot of introspection and "navel gazing."

escritora · Feb 26, 2008

Thanks, Hopcus. I'll check the book out.

Still, the trick is to find a way to show us the story (whether it's all external action or internal monologue) instead of telling us. Try using action, reference of external events, and the five senses.

Thanks, maestrowork. That makes perfect sense. I understand exactly what you mean.

Nateskate · Feb 26, 2008

maestrowork said:
Internal monologue doesn't have to be all tell and no show nor a lot of "filtering" (I think, I see, etc.) Granted, if you're describing action it's difficult to not include the "I." Still, the trick is to find a way to show us the story (whether it's all external action or internal monologue) instead of telling us. Try using action, reference of external events, and the five senses.

By nature, 1st person is the closest thing to internal dialogue -- the narrator is telling a story. The difference is whether the narrator is telling "someone" a story or talking to himself. The techniques are very similar -- just the tone is slightly different. The best first person stories have a lot of externals: things that happen to the narrator, things he observes, etc. "Internal monologue" is just a literary device, not a fixed way of telling a story -- try to avoid a lot of introspection and "navel gazing."

Hi Ray. I've finally started your book and am enjoying it. Lol- it might be awkward for you to say this, pitching your novel, but I have no problem doing so, since I think it might help this person see examples of what you're saying.

BlueLucario · Feb 26, 2008

escritora said:
Mija, my WIP, is written as an internal dialogue. I find that I'm using too many I's. I'm also telling rather than showing. Can anyone provide advice on how I can avoid those two issues?

Ellen Foster is the only book that comes to mind that is written as an internal dialogue. Can anyone recommend any others?

In terms with the I's and all. Try finding each sentence with the I's at the beginning of the sentence and rewriting it to something else.

As for showing, not telling. It's not as easy as it sounds. I don't think you should worry about that, just show what's important to the story and tell what's not. If you just do all show you're wasting pages, and make everything sound wordy.

If it's a WIP, just get everything down and worry about those when you're finished.

escritora · Feb 26, 2008

Hi Ray. I've finally started your book and am enjoying it. Lol- it might be awkward for you to say this, pitching your novel, but I have no problem doing so, since I think it might help this person see examples of what you're saying.

You holding out on me, Ray? I'll pick up your book as well.

"try to avoid a lot of introspection and "navel gazing."

When writing first person, I don't have a problem with showing, not telling. So, I was surprised that the reverese is the case with internal monologue. The above quote definately helped me see where I went wrong. I'm writing way too much introspection.

ETA: Thanks, Blue for your comments.

Internal Dialogue

escritora

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Danger Jane

escritora

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Hopcus

maestrowork

Fear the Death Ray

escritora

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Nateskate

BlueLucario

Blood Elves FTW

escritora

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