Perils of Showing First Draft to Family

popmuze · Feb 25, 2008

My daughter is a big reader. She hasn't lived at home for a long time. And she's been begging me to show her the first draft of my WIP. So I took the bait.

It seems like it might be a mistake. But not for the usual reasons.

From our few conversations on the subject so far, I get the impression she thinks the main character is me, and therefore, she finds if psychologically impossible to find the fatal flaws I'm looking to discover in the main character.

I tried to explain to her that reading and critiquing a first draft is a lot different from reading (and critiquing) a published novel. I told her to be brutally honest, etc. And she said she was up to the task.

But this was a curve ball I wasn't expecting.

Alexandra Little · Feb 25, 2008

Never rely on family. I wrote a story where the MC had a fight with her mother, called her horrible names, and ran away. Guess what my mother thought about that?

Hillary · Feb 25, 2008

I'd never let my father or brother read anything I wrote and hope for a helpful response.

However, I listen, enraptured, whenever my mother says anything about writing. I have nothing to do but learn from her.

TheIT · Feb 25, 2008

Is the story in first person POV? Sometimes it's hard to convince people that "I" in the story doesn't mean "I, the author".

donroc · Feb 25, 2008

I NEVER show a first draft to anyone. After a second draft, I then ask my beta aka wife and muse to read.

Ervin · Feb 25, 2008

I have a whole list of people in my head who i would never bother to show a draft to, simply because I know they will praise my work no matter how horrible it is. It will give me a false sense of security. I will probably let my mom read a draft, she's good at being honest yet unhurtful, too bad she would never have the time.

Will Lavender · Feb 25, 2008

Along these lines, I got this question last night at my book signing from an aunt:

"So did you borrow any stories from your CRAZY FAMILY [cue anxious, bitten-down laughter] to use in the book?"

I answered, simply, "No."

You could feel the air go out of the room.

In a lot of ways you can see where these folks are coming from. I would be nervous if one of my relatives were a, say, filmmaker. I think it's only natural to feel like others around us are doing things that involve us; it's that whole me-centric thing we never really get past from childhood, I guess.

It's a tough thing for a writer or an artist of any kind. I just usually put everybody's minds at ease and say, "This stuff was dredged completely out of my whacky and disjointed subconscious. Enjoy."

Mumut · Feb 25, 2008

I was told never to let the family read the WIP because they would say nice things to please me, but I've found I'm really lucky. My wife has never had a problem with critising me. All we needed to do was defind 'constructive criticism' and we were fine.

My daughters are also good critics. I chose a female MC because the action is set in England in the Middle Ages and MC has to fight her way out of trouble. This is what the girls want to see. Both of them experianced sex discrimination at school, by the education system mainly, and I've enjoyed writing the story in a way that they, represented by the MC, get their own back.

Chasing the Horizon · Feb 25, 2008

I use my parents as beta readers. My Mom is an avid reader and my Dad had a couple of his poems and short stories published way back when, so I figure they're better than most of my brain-dead friends

. I would never show a book to anyone until I finished editing it, though. Why make them slog through all my typos?

I trust my parents to be fairly objective (as objective as anyone, at least). When I was first starting out, my Mom told me the chapters I showed her 'needed work. A lot of work'. I know this is her way of saying 'you suck', lol. I figure if my own mother thinks it sucks, it must be true. Just the other day she came to me and said 'did you forget to edit this scene? It's really hard to read.'

The idea of my family thinking I was writing about them or about myself actually never occurred to me. One of my characters had a horribly abusive mother, and another had an alcoholic father, but my parents never thought those characters had anything to do with them. Maybe it's because I write fairly distant third limited, and have very little in common with my characters. Or maybe it's because I write fantasy. My characters do a lot of things I would never do, and I strongly disagree with them sometimes. If anyone said they thought one of my MCs was a novel version of me, I would probably laugh out loud and thank them for the compliment. I wish I was that fun, talented, smart, and interesting, lol.

kzmiller · Feb 25, 2008

I think most family, unless they're writers or some other sort of professional accustomed to getting critiques, will have a tough time giving an unbiased opinion. Spouses seem to have less issue because the power dynamic is more equal--that may be true for sibs though I haven't tested that theory personally. Parents and kids--that's tougher.

lucky8 · Feb 25, 2008

My sister is pretty good at crit-ing but I'd still never show her, or anyone else, a first draft. I learned early on not to show my parents anything and expect constructive help, same goes for my friends although for different reasons.

Horsetales · Feb 26, 2008

My wife edits my WIP as I go along. She has a degree in English and is very critical. After a conversation with her this morning two of my major characters are going to be axed and about 20,000 words totally re written. I had been hanging on to these characters more out of sentimentality than benefit to the plot, she cut straight to the point and told me to be brutal.

Always useful when you are sleeping with your editor!

Marian Perera · Feb 26, 2008

I once asked my mother if she wanted to read my work, and she said she would read whatever I'd written after it was published and in a bookstore. She was never into fiction, though. She preferred biographies of the rich and famous, like Elvis Presley and Aristotle Onassis, so she probably wouldn't have enjoyed my fantasy novel whether it was published or not. And she's dead now, so it's moot.

I don't think anyone else in my family is even aware that I write. Asian families would be very proud of doctors and engineers, but unpublished writers are more of an embarassment.

Stijn Hommes · Feb 26, 2008

For some reason my mother was in my room yesterday and she found the first draft of a short story I was working on. She asked one question about something that wasn't clear to her (which I already planned on changing), but overall she was as encouraging about my writing as she has been since I told her I did it. I don't see any perils in showing writing/first drafts to family, but I don't think it has any advantages either.

Prawn · Feb 27, 2008

I always use my family as beta readers, but I give it to another group of people who won't spare my feelings. The family is more of a cheering section.

Stew21 · Feb 27, 2008

My family has asked. I have avoided sending a copy of it to each of them all they way up until my mom came for a visit and asked for the 5th time (she's the only one that continued to pester me about it). I put her off for so long, and she just kept asking so I emailed it to her.
She emailed not long ago and said she was reading my book and enjoying it. She hasn't said another word about it since.

If all I end up with is "that's nice dear." I'll be ok with that. I wasn't expecting her to be my best beta, but part of me wishes she wasn't reading it. Some of the pieces in it, I have to wonder how she will react. Mostly though, if she did react she would keep it primarily to herself. She won't want to discourage me. *sigh* - she doesn't understand that I can take constructive criticism quite well and never take it out on the criticizer.
So I'll get a pat on the head and a "good job' and it'll be done.

johnzakour · Feb 27, 2008

I have a policy I never show any or my drafts to anybody who can't buy the manuscript or edit it.

Storm Dream · Feb 27, 2008

My mother's been pretty good with my short stories; she's very helpful as a line editor and catches little grammar bugs that I miss. And every now and then she has some good character observations.

With that said, I don't know if I'd entrust one of the novels to her. Most of my stuff is space opera or fantasy or weird supernatural, and she's just not into that kind of stuff, doesn't seem to understand it.

(I also remember from experience that she has no problem shredding my stuff when she feels necessary. Granted, this was back in middle school, but I don't want her shredding it. Let the hurt feelings come from non family members.

)

DeleyanLee · Feb 27, 2008

I guess it depends on the family involved.

Personally, I don't bother sending anything unpublished of mine to my parents or siblings since they have never read anything I've handed them before.

OTOH, I used my MIPs as bedtime stories for my children when they were young and would occasionally discuss them the next day. Now that they are college-age, they enjoy seeing what I'm doing and my daughter is a top-notch line editor (takes after her father there) and continuity checker.

Personally, I like having cheerleaders read as I'm writing. It keeps my spirits high and gives me someone to babble at when I need to brainstorm without "ruining" the story for my crit buds--but I know the difference between the two.

donroc · Feb 27, 2008

Early in our marriage, my wife showed without my approval a first draft of mine to her uncle who had connections in Hollywood. In front of everyone, he handed it to me and loudly said, THIS IS A PIECE OF SHIT. My reaction need not be printed here. Later he asked me to write PR for his company for more money than I was earning at the time as if his comment never happened. I was delighted to reject the offer.

The novel was good enough to get me an agent but ultimately became dated.

jenstrikesagain · Feb 27, 2008

I am so so so jealous of y'all who have family members who are even passingly interested in anything you've written. Hell, I'm jealous that your family members are interested in you, period. I have one uncle (one! out of my crop of six! To say nothing of my gaggle of aunts and cousins!) who has ever even mentioned writing without adding, "That's something you do when you're unemployed, right?" or something equally cutting. The only thing that ever got even a raised eyebrow was when "Time" magazine published one of my letters. My mother doesn't even look at my rather innocuous blog. So, for those of you who do have interested family members, give them a big hug for me. And show them what you wrote--when you're good and ready.

I'm not bitter. Honest.

DeleyanLee · Feb 27, 2008

Don't worry, Jen. For every member of my family interested in my writing, I've got someone who gives me great quotes like "Real people don't get published. Give it up."

I'm looking forward to being able to inscribe a copy of my book (some day) "From your unreal daughter" just to see if they get it or if I get total denial once they've been proven wrong.

heh.

donroc · Feb 27, 2008

At my age the only downside of at last being published is that those of my parents' and grandparents' generations -- and some from mine--who wished me well, are not here to share my delight. And, of course, I cannot give the old flipproo to those negativos whom I have outlived.

Mythica · Feb 27, 2008

My mother has read my book and loved it, but it's my friends that usually harass me for more. I've been really lucky to avoid anyone saying something cruel to me like I've read here. That would seriously just suck. It's bad enough getting rejected by an agent you've never met, but to be put down by family? Yikes. That's not okay.

Now that I think of it! I did have an economics teacher back in high school ask me what I wanted to do after college and when I said writer, he says to me, "What? Wow! You are going to be poor!" All I kept thinking was, 'well at least I won't be obnoxious and miserable like you...' Sheesh, what a jerk.

Alexandra Little · Feb 27, 2008

I am actually looking forward to giving my mss to my friend and her younger sisters (they're 13 or 14, I forget which). They are all avid readers, and one of the sisters enjoys writing, so I trust their abilities to tell me what they didn't enjoy and what needs to be fixed.

My mom doesn't read fiction except once in a blue moon (DaVinci Code when the movie came out, for instance, and a Pride and Prejudice sequel even though she's never read the original, because she likes the movies). My dad, however, reads fantasy and sci-fi (Tolkien, Herbert, LeGuin) but very casually. He may be more open. However, neither of them are good with English (nurse and engineer, respectively), so I don't expect them to critique (and, in my mom's case, she'll make too much out of the MC's motive and think the character is me).

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