Laughing. Aaargh!

kimb68 · Feb 23, 2008

I'm stuck in two modes. My characters either laugh, or they give a laugh:

1. The bartender laughed uproariously.

2. He gave a bitter laugh.

There have got to be some more ways for people to laugh. Or chuckle. Or guffaw. Or whatever. Please, throw a few more constructions my way.

IceCreamEmpress · Feb 23, 2008

I think the "laughing" verbs that don't seem odd are "laugh", "chuckle", "giggle", "snicker", and maybe "guffaw". Words like "chortle" and "titter" seem old-fashioned now.

As for composite verbs, "give a laugh" is fine once per 200 pages; more than that and it seems like a stylistic tic. You can "fight back a laugh" (or a giggle or a chuckle) or "stifle a laugh" if it's not an appropriate time; you can "snort with laughter"; your "booming laughter" can ring out, or your "suppressed giggle" be barely audible.

But really, "he laughed" is just as transparent as "he walked". If you never vary it, it might seem a tiny bit repetitive, but as the default construction, there's no reason to worry about using it in the majority of cases.

juneafternoon · Feb 23, 2008

^ Titter is popular in YA, actually. I think because YA is about being fab and dramatic, as teenagers are, and old-fashion or overhyped words are fitting.

Dunno about other genres.

Just my completely unrelated 2 cents.

Will Lavender · Feb 23, 2008

This is just me, but I don't like the word "uproariously." I put it in my WIP the other day, stared at it for ten seconds, and then deleted the hell out of it. Strange word.

As IceCreamEmpress says, I think just "laughed" works best, " as "said" works best in dialogue tags. The less the better. All you need to do there is explain the action and then get out.

Soccer Mom · Feb 23, 2008

Busted out with laughter? Burst out laughing? Roared with laughter? IDK

Be cautious with too much laughing, shrugging, sighing, head shaking, etc... It can get annoying.

Will Lavender · Feb 23, 2008

Soccer Mom said:
Be cautious with too much laughing, shrugging, sighing, head shaking, etc... It can get annoying.

Unless your novel is set in an insane asylum.

WistfulWriter7 · Feb 23, 2008

Ya, I have the same problem. I agree, be careful with the laughing. Apparently, I have a "stylistic tic" when it comes to describing the way ALL my characters laughed...ya I cut a lot of that out now =) Good luck!

Eldritch · Feb 26, 2008

Hi Kimb,

Did you try checking a thesaurus for other "laugh" words?

As for:
The bartender laughed uproariously.

Do everything in your power to get rid of those adverbs--those "ly" words. If you do, I guarantee you'll see an improvement in your writing.

TrainofThought · Feb 26, 2008

The bartender slapped the bar, flung his head back and let out a roar until tears rolled down his cheeks. :Shrug:

san_remo_ave · Feb 26, 2008

The bartender couldn't contain his amusement.

Tears rolled down his face from ill-contained mirth.

"Lord, that was the funniest thing ever. I nearly peed my pants."

sunna · Feb 26, 2008

Throw in a snort every now and then. Who doesn't love a good snort?

JoNightshade · Feb 26, 2008

Oh, snorting is definitely awesome.

Brighid · Feb 27, 2008

TrainofThought said:
The bartender slapped the bar, flung his head back and let out a roar until tears rolled down his cheeks.

sanremoave said:
The bartender couldn't contain his amusement.

Tears rolled down his face from ill-contained mirth.

"Lord, that was the funniest thing ever. I nearly peed my pants."

These two are good examples of showing the laughter instead of saying "he laughed" every third paragraph.

scribbler1382 · Feb 27, 2008

As the bartender wiped up the milk that had shot from his nose...

Mr Flibble · Feb 27, 2008

scribbler1382 said:
As the bartender wiped up the milk that had shot from his nose...

*snicker*

Or more cruelly:

The bartender screamed, tequila had burned the tender tissues on the inside of his nose when he tried to hold in the laugh.

Prawn · Feb 27, 2008

Eldritch said:
Do everything in your power to get rid of those adverbs--those "ly" words. If you do, I guarantee you'll see an improvement in your writing.

Except when you absolutely need them.

Charlie Horse · Feb 27, 2008

I'm chortling as we speak.

Prawn · Feb 27, 2008

Charlie Horse said:
I'm chortling as we speak.

"And hast thou slain the Jabberwock? Come to my arms, my beamish boy! O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!" He chortled in his joy.

kimb68 · Feb 27, 2008

Thanks for the many suggestions. Stylistics tics are me. Or at least, I'm aware of several that I'm trying to expunge. (Including using words like "expunge.") I liked the example that TrainofThought posted that describes the body language without ever mentioning laughter.

And yes, I agree that less is more. I read an Elmore Leonard novel last year and it was like a light bulb going off over my head. That guy is TERSE.

Eldritch · Feb 27, 2008

Eldritch said:
Do everything in your power to get rid of those adverbs--those "ly" words.

Prawn said:
Except when you absolutely need them.

I agree.
But then again, J.K. Rowling uses lots of adverbs, and it sure hasn't hurt her.

Charlie Horse · Feb 27, 2008

Eldritch said:
I agree.
But then again, J.K. Rowling uses lots of adverbs, and it sure hasn't hurt her.

A lot of established, very successful writers do despite the stern warnings from every book on writing ever written.

girlyswot · Feb 27, 2008

Do they actually have to laugh every time? Could they grin? Or twinkle their eyes? Or something else that indicates different levels of amusement?

She_wulf · Feb 27, 2008

Eldritch said:
I agree.
But then again, J.K. Rowling uses lots of adverbs, and it sure hasn't hurt her.

Her target audience generally embraces the use of "ly" words. So, considering the market niche, it was a forgivable offense.

There are excellent examples of how "ly" overuse degenerates your writing. Stephen King's "On Writing" pp 117-122 goes into examples and reasoning why "ly" and use of "colorful" verbs can make your writing weaker.

That isn't to say you need to write like Hemingway. I spoke to the bartender. The bartender laughed.

I really liked the way TrainofThought, sanremoave, and IdiotsRUs showed us how the bartender laughed. IMO, just saying the person laughed is an example of "showing not telling." It all depends on how you want the manuscript read. Too many of these breaks equals use of colorful verbs or purple prose misuse as well.

Amy

Laughing. Aaargh!

kimb68

IceCreamEmpress

Hapless Virago

juneafternoon

Return of the Jedi

Will Lavender

Everything is what it seems.

Soccer Mom

Crypto-fascist

Will Lavender

Everything is what it seems.

WistfulWriter7

passionate dreamer

Eldritch

TrainofThought

A flowering bud of bitchiness

san_remo_ave

Back at it

sunna

JoNightshade

has finally arrived

Brighid

scribbler1382

Write For You, Edit For The Reader

Mr Flibble

They've been very bad, Mr Flibble

Prawn

Writing is finite,revising infinite

Charlie Horse

Speaking in metaphors

Prawn

Writing is finite,revising infinite

kimb68

Eldritch

Charlie Horse

Speaking in metaphors

girlyswot

She_wulf

that's me