And then

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Patrick L

Patrick L

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Thoughts on and then? As I have been going over my manuscript, I did an edit search and found a few of these beauties hanging around, even though I've tried to avoid them. In all my rewrites and edits, I guess I missed them.

Do you guys think this is one way to repair them? Here's an example:

Michael tossed his cigarette in the lake and then walked to the back of the truck.

fix:

Michael tossed his cigarette in the lake, before walking to the back of the truck.

Is this correct? Comma needed? I don't think and works if there is a distance to cover for Michael. My brain is MUSH!
 
Bufty

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Omit the 'and' in 'and then'. 'Then' on its own normally works fine.

I don't think the comma is essential in your revised attempt.

Beer is Yummy said:
Thoughts on and then? As I have been going over my manuscript, I did an edit search and found a few of these beauties hanging around, even though I've tried to avoid them. In all my rewrites and edits, I guess I missed them.

Do you guys think this is one way to repair them? Here's an example:

Michael tossed his cigarette in the lake and then walked to the back of the truck.

fix:

Michael tossed his cigarette in the lake, before walking to the back of the truck.

Is this correct? Comma needed? I don't think and works if there is a distance to cover for Michael. My brain is MUSH!
Click to expand...
 
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HeronW

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Using 'And then' in the beginning of a sentence really puts my knickers in a twist. You can usually leave it all off (And then, not me knickers :}) since one sentence follows another so does the action/dialogue, etc.
 
Bufty

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Agreed. That bad habit stands out like a sore thumb when it's used.

HeronW said:
Using 'And then' in the beginning of a sentence really puts my knickers in a twist. You can usually leave it all off (And then, not me knickers :}) since one sentence follows another so does the action/dialogue, etc.
Click to expand...
 
Julie Worth

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Beer is Yummy said:
Michael tossed his cigarette in the lake and then walked to the back of the truck.

fix:

Michael tossed his cigarette in the lake, before walking to the back of the truck.
Click to expand...

Better: Michael tossed his cigarette in the lake, then walked to the back of the truck.

Sometimes I drop both words:
Michael tapped a cigarette out and then lit it.
Michael tapped a cigarette out, lit it.
 
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Appalachian Writer

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Sentence 1: Absolutely correct without comma. What you have is a compound predicate or verb: tossed and walked. The "then" serves only as an adverb.

Sentence 2: No comma preceding "before." Before begins a prepositional phrase which serves as an adverbial.

Trust me.
 
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