Back cover paragraph

question

What is the purpose of the paragraph? Where will you use it?

First of all, I had an absolutely impossible time writing my back cover paragraph, so this may be worth nothing. But I think it would help to establish who Kate is. Kate is a X old woman who .... When her mother is dying, she realizes that... Then she sets off to ... Hope that helps.

Hi Lisa. So far it sounds like you're describing the premise, but there's no real conflict to draw the reader in yet. Does meeting her father provide conflict? Who is her best friend and why is it unusual that she might fall in love with him? So I'd suggest adding some conflict to the summary. As far as the existing summary, how about something like this:

Kate Danforth had always known she was raised on lies. Stories of her mother’s past and her relationship with Kate’s real father were constantly shifting shadows. But as Kate’s mother approaches death her true history emerges in her stories, prompting Kate to begin a quest to find her father.

As Kate begins to forge a relationship with her father, she is forced to confront her feelings about another man – the one constant friend in her life. Could <man’s name> turn out to be more than a best friend?

What's the genre? Women's fiction or romance or something else?

BTW, I'm assuming you're doing this for your own use, to keep you focused on the story. At least among major publishers, the back cover blurbs are written by employees of the publisher, people who specialize in this type of writing, which is very different from writing the fiction itself.

JD

Hi, Lisa.

I think this is a little vague. It's a great exercise to write it out, though, and will help a lot when it comes to query time. III had some good suggestions in his re-write...the goal is to be more specific so that you show how this story is different from all the other Fatherless Daughter stories out there. And be careful with pronouns, make sure that it's clear who they are referring to. The 'she' in the second sentence could refer to Kate or the mother.

And there are a few women's fiction/romance agents who abhor the name Kate for a protagonist. You might want to consider a name change. Something I like to do when looking for a name for a character who either doesn't have one or has a bad one is to look on http://www.ssa.gov/OACT/babynames/, go down to 'Popular Names by Birth Year', input the year your person was born, and choose a name near the bottom of the list. I use the 500 name list.

Lisa F said:

And there are a few women's fiction/romance agents who abhor the name Kate for a protagonist.

Really? I'm curious as to why?

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Because it is one of the most common names for women in women's fiction and romance.
It is so overused it is nearly cliche'.


Trish, who has a Kate - mother of the MC - in her own work and should consider changing it as well.

Siddow said:

Hi, Lisa.

And there are a few women's fiction/romance agents who abhor the name Kate for a protagonist. You might want to consider a name change. Something I like to do when looking for a name for a character who either doesn't have one or has a bad one is to look on http://www.ssa.gov/OACT/babynames/, go down to 'Popular Names by Birth Year', input the year your person was born, and choose a name near the bottom of the list. I use the 500 name list.

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Cool idea. I tried putting in my MC's birth year (2259) but it didn't work.

I have a bad tendency to name my characters with A names. Maybe that's just as far as I get in the alphabet.

Nicole

Lisa F said:

Here is my paragraph? What do you think so far?

Kate Danforth knew her mother weaved a lifetime of lies about her past and Kate's true father. During her mother's last days she leaves the present and begins storytelling about her past. Kate begins to piece together the truth which leads her on a quest to find her father.

As she begins to forge a relationship with her father, Kate is forced to examine her feelings about the one constant man in her life -her best friend who could possibly her own true love.

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Call me a rotten little nitpicker but I have a thing about repetition. You've used the word, begins, three times. Once you flesh out your paragraph you might want to replace a couple of them. If this is going on the back cover of your book you'll want a bit of a hook. That Kate's mother weaves a lifetime of lies is too vague. What lies? Give us one or two that impact the rest of the story. Also, make a bridge between forging a relationship with her father leading her to examine her feelings for the other man in her life. How is one connected to the other? Hope that helps.
Linnea

Women's fiction isn't something I read, but generally you can't go wrong with the basic structure of Protagonist wants ___, because ___, but ___ is preventing her from attaining her goal, so she does ____.

Those are the key elements you need: protagonist, goal, antagonist and action.

As it stands, the blurb is fairly passive. The first paragraph is all set-up/backstory, and I'm not seeing any struggle in the quest for her father; as soon as I know there's a quest, she's already found him and is forging a relationship. She's getting everything she wants -- first, to find him, and then to have a relationship. No conflict.

Focus on the real struggle in the story. Is it the struggle to find her father, the struggle to have a relationship with him (and what's stopping her from having it, now that she knows about him)? Be specific: She wants to get to know him, but he's in a coma. She wants to get to know him, but he doesn't admit he's her father. She wants to get to know him, but ..... And then how does she make her goal come true (or fail if there's an unhappy ending)?

Focus on the primary struggle and, if possible, how the external actions affect or parallel the internal conflicts. If you know what the protagonist wants and who's preventing her from getting what she wants, and you can reduce that to one sentence, that may be enough to keep you on track.

JD

ishtar'sgate said:

Call me a rotten little nitpicker but I have a thing about repetition.

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Okay: you're a rotten little nitpicker.

I happen to agree with you, though...

I keep a journal of story ideas, and, for whatever reason, I've been writing the ideas down in marketing language since I was a kid. "Jason trusted that no one knew his horrible secret, but the threats that came through the mail slot once a week said otherwise..." I almost always chose what books to read based on what the back cover said.

But when it came time for me to ACTUALLY write a back cover blurb (one of my publishers actually wanted three...yech) I found it nearly impossible. Writing fake ones before the book was written was fun, but writing real ones afterwards...

I wound up reading a lot of jacket flaps to familiar stories, to see how the flap highighted the contents. I'm still not completely satisfied with what's written on the back of my book, but I learned a lot from watching other people do it.

Ben_G

Ben_G said:

I
But when it came time for me to ACTUALLY write a back cover blurb (one of my publishers actually wanted three...yech) I found it nearly impossible. Writing fake ones before the book was written was fun, but writing real ones afterwards...
Ben_G

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I think the difficulty with this lies in the fact that once we've written the novel we know the WHOLE story with all its subplots and side issues and have trouble locating the one through plot line to follow for the back cover blurb. For that reason I've written a rough blurb for my current WIP while the main plot is fresh in my mind and I'm not sidetracked by subplots. I'm hoping it will keep me grounded to the through line. Time will tell if my plan works.
Linnea

FYI: In traditional mainstream publishing, the author does not write her own back cover copy.

And now, nitpicking the nitpicks...

Any time I catch myself writing starts to, begins to, or similar phrases, I stop. About 90% of the time the phrase is unnecessary, a sort of hesitation before the real verb. Although some of the rewrites people have done eliminate the begins to, here's the original:

...she leaves the present and begins storytelling about her past. Kate begins to piece together the truth which leads her on a quest to find her father.

As she begins to forge a relationship ...

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And here it is without the hesitation words:

...she leaves the present, storytelling about her past. Kate pieces together the truth which leads her on a quest to find her father.

As she forges a relationship...

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No real loss, is there?

Maryn, okay with picky details, lousy on Big Picture

Joe Unidos said:

FYI: In traditional mainstream publishing, the author does not write her own back cover copy.

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True, but my publisher wanted my version and then played with it to suit their taste.
Linnea

Stew21 said:

Because it is one of the most common names for women in women's fiction and romance.
It is so overused it is nearly cliche'.


Trish, who has a Kate - mother of the MC - in her own work and should consider changing it as well.

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Its overused in my family for real - my sister is Katherine (Kate), my mother is Kathy, her mother is Katherine... and it goes back several more generations if you can believe it.