Diluting Reactions

Do you find having scenes with too many characters or the wrong mix of characters dilutes the character reactions?

I've been editing my first draft and I realized I need to get rid of one of my characters. She doesn't belong in this story because she's a calming presence, and the story doesn't need my characters to be calm. She's also stealing my MC's reactions and lines. In one scene in particular, one character said something outrageous and she reacted, but because she reacted, my MC didn't need to say anything. The scene ended up being more about her than about my MC.

orion_mk3 said:

Admittedly, I haven't read the story, but have you thought about making this secondary character the main character or spinning them off into their own story?

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Funny you should mention this. The character I'm excising from this story will show up in later stories (she's the love interest of one of my other characters), but what I realized is that she just wasn't helping this story. In a couple of scenes I had to come up with ways to get her out of the way so she wouldn't learn secrets.

My MC of this story is a character who I originally thought I didn't need because in his original incarnation he had about as much personality as a coffee table. While writing my first draft I realized this is his story. What helped was changing the focus. In my original attempts to tell this story, this character was a bystander. I changed the events to make him the center so he was forced to act and had a vested interest in what was happening. Now that he's the focus, I can't afford to have anything take away from that.

Not to mention that my draft is going to be long, so I'm looking for content I can delete which won't hurt the story.

NeuroFizz said:

If the character isn't necessary for the scenes, cut the character out. However, if you find the character irritating (for stealing lines), you could always have your main character (who, I presume, is the POV character) be equally irritated by this person for poking her nose where it doesn't belong. You could actually add to the emotion of some scenes in this way, and maybe this extra character could end up playing a larger part in the story.

Go with your gut reaction, though.

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Actually, I'm pulling this character out not because she's too irritating, but because she's too nice.

Marvin, my MC and one of my POV characters, has spent his entire life deferring to four older brothers. He has confidence issues (justifiably so), and instinctively lets others make decisions because he doesn't trust his own judgment. His story arc is to learn to stand on his own two feet. When I bring in Chantal, his older cousin, he automatically defers to her. They share the same moral standard and many of the same attitudes, so when there's a conflict she does the talking while he watches. I want Marvin to act on his own, so I need to pull out Chantal to force him into the spotlight (whether he wants it or not).