Need help finding the perfect word, please.

WriterInChains · Jan 20, 2008

I've collected a few, but none are exactly right. Here's the story:

Character #1 is taking care of Char #2, in such a way that it's obvious she has experience caring for a child; Char #2 (& The Reader) knows she has no child to care for now, & looks at her with a kind of sad understanding that there HAS TO be a word for, but I can't seem to find it.

Like I said, I've found a few (which I won't bore you-all with), but anyone with a suggestion please toss 'em out -- anything goes.

Thanks in advance!
~WiC

chevbrock · Jan 20, 2008

Is the word you're looking for empathy?

Mr Flibble · Jan 21, 2008

I can only really think of the obvious

Sympathy
Empathy
Compassion
Fellow feeling ( ok two words, sorry)
Affinity
Communion ( maybe?)
Sensibility (?)

Hmm, there must be something more!

WriterInChains · Jan 21, 2008

Thanks chevbrock & IdiotsRUs!

Keep 'em coming, please.

Angelinity · Jan 21, 2008

my thoughts are -- if you're having trouble painting this scene, move on... a word does not a novel make.

Summonere · Jan 21, 2008

I agree with Angelinity, but I also offer this: sometimes a word alone won't do. Sometimes a whole chunka text can be useful. I don't have a recently-read Harlan Ellison example handy (oh but it was excellent), so I'll make one up with the standard disclaimer. This is crap. Gosh this is crap. I do much better when I take care.* Read at your own risk.

Character #1 looked aside with a downward glance, just a small one, that contained all the world of past hurts and loss and misery and sorrow: in just that one glance, a brief limping away of blue gaze across dusty floor, there was history of a child born to proud and frightened parents, there was memory of long nights spent holding and feeding and rocking the sleeping child, there was the grace of years engaged in happy play with one for whom all the world was new and wondrous, and down there in the depths of that departing glance, way back in the corners where it was desired that none should ever look, way, way down there where the eyes failed to meet those of Character #2, in the hidden glint of trembling corners, there was tragedy, too, of great hope and innocence forever dashed. In such a moment whole empires might have died with the softest of sighs, so tragic was the sorrow. And then it was gone. Like a flash of black lightning. So quick you almost missed it. So startling you could never deny having seen it. There. Then gone. Touch of a ghost whose gentlest caress left marks in a soul.

* Lies. All lies. (Just ask my editors.) Sally forth and conquer.

WriterInChains · Jan 21, 2008

Thanks for the reality-check, Angelinity, but I'm not obsessing over this to the point of stopping. I wrote the passage in question weeks ago & have only been obsessing over it now & then when I can't write -- like now, when I'm at work.

Summonere -- Thanks! The paragraph I have is about 1/3 this size, & if I have to re-write the whole damned thing I will -- but I just know the perfect word is out there. I'll find it. Darned character has a better vocabulary than I do. :ROFL:

Angelinity · Jan 21, 2008

didn't intend to be cross, WIC... i've had that happen, we all do sometimes.

in my case, when i seem to get stuck on just the perfect word, i find that if i look at the paragraph or scene again, something's lacking in it -- maybe the scene i've built is not rich enough on its own and that's why i think i need this perfect word to complete it... then i move to one side and look at it from a different place -- a new element will reveal itself. maybe a sound, taste, smell, memory... rewriting it, it works.

if i take this stumble chasing for the perfect word as a red flag rather than an obstacle, and let the scene unfold without forcing it, it usually works itself out on its own.

DWSTXS · Jan 21, 2008

I'd call it 'parental longing'

or........if you really just want one word..........love

WriterInChains · Jan 21, 2008

Angelinity said:
didn't intend to be cross, WIC... i've had that happen, we all do sometimes.

in my case, when i seem to get stuck on just the perfect word, i find that if i look at the paragraph or scene again, something's lacking in it -- maybe the scene i've built is not rich enough on its own and that's why i think i need this perfect word to complete it... then i move to one side and look at it from a different place -- a new element will reveal itself. maybe a sound, taste, smell, memory... rewriting it, it works.

if i take this stumble chasing for the perfect word as a red flag rather than an obstacle, and let the scene unfold without forcing it, it usually works itself out on its own.

I didn't take your post as cross at all! Everyone needs a good reality check every so often! :Hug2:

Thanks for your suggestion, wonderful advice! I think I'll look at the scene from a new angle & see what happens. It's just that paragraph that I can't quite call finished, but maybe it is a symptom of something larger. This is only a first draft, but if something bugs me I'll try to fix it instead of waiting. Now I have a lot to think about!

HeronW · Jan 22, 2008

caretaker, caregiver, companion?

Make a list of 'almost' words, print it out next to the char to which they apply until the right word shows up. :}

fridayschildofwoe · Jan 23, 2008

What about "melancholy" or "wistfulness"?

fridayschildofwoe · Jan 23, 2008

Maybe "dolefully"...

WriterInChains · Jan 23, 2008

Thanks a million for your suggestions.

Anyone with an idea -- don't be shy!

Need help finding the perfect word, please.

WriterInChains

Feed my eyes

chevbrock

Mr Flibble

They've been very bad, Mr Flibble

WriterInChains

Feed my eyes

Angelinity

absent

Summonere

WriterInChains

Feed my eyes

Angelinity

absent

DWSTXS

Mr Mojo Risin...

WriterInChains

Feed my eyes

HeronW

Down Under Fan

fridayschildofwoe

fridayschildofwoe

WriterInChains

Feed my eyes