Has an agent helped you improve your query letter?

Prawn · Jan 17, 2008

How do agent rejections help you improve your query letter?

The following advice is frequently heard:

"Send out a few query letters at a time, that way if the agent gives you feed back, you can revise your query letter."

This doesn't make any sense to me. It isn't the agent's job to help you with your letter. I never got any feedback of that sort from an agent that rejected me, and if the agent accepts you, you don't need to revise the letter. I could imagine an agent saying "The market for mysteries is down right now" so instead of marketing your work as a mystery you change it to a thriller. This has not been my experience.

Has an agents feed back helped you improve your query letter?

arkady · Jan 17, 2008

I think you're misinterpreting the advice. The idea is that if you're getting nothing but form rejections and no feedback, you should try revising your query letter to improve your hit rate. I have never heard anyone claim that any agent will ever give you advice on the query.

Shadow_Ferret · Jan 17, 2008

After each rejection, I tweeked my query until I started getting responses.

Now they reject the novel itself.

So I'm tweeking that.

Prawn · Jan 17, 2008

I am misconstruing it on purpose because I think that some people may have this interpretation. So if you are getting nothing but rejections, change your letter? This seems like a shot in the dark, really. Maybe your letter is as good as it can get but your novel isn't marketable for a host of reasons.

Shadow_Ferret · Jan 17, 2008

Prawn said:
I am misconstruing it on purpose because I think that some people may have this interpretation. So if you are getting nothing but rejections, change your letter? This seems like a shot in the dark, really. Maybe your letter is as good as it can get but your novel isn't marketable for a host of reasons.

It's urban fantasy, which is all the rage these days. So if the query doesn't get them interested, then the problem is in the query.

loiterer · Jan 17, 2008

So if you are getting nothing but rejections, change your letter? This seems like a shot in the dark, really. Maybe your letter is as good as it can get but your novel isn't marketable for a host of reasons.

Maybe. But personally, I'd rather not rely on that. I'd get some people to look over my query and see if there's reasons it's not working that I, being so close to my own work, can't see. See this post in Share Your Work, for an example of someone who had immediate results with a revised query.

johnzakour · Jan 17, 2008

Prawn said:
Has an agents feed back helped you improve your query letter?

Short answer, "no".

Longer answer, "nope".

Disclaimer: I've only queried two agents ever.

allenparker · Jan 17, 2008

This may not be the same thing, but...

I recently got a rejection that stated the market was too small for the book. I had done enough research to know that the basis for his decision was incorrect. I had to revise both the query and the proposal to reflect the information I had and what how many people actually fall in that market.

This was a first-timer's mistake, but easy to make. I assumed everyone in this niche market was aware of the product and the sudden rise in popularity. I was wrong.

I was certainly glad I had only sent one query and was able to fix it before a full round of queries.

Prawn · Jan 17, 2008

Allen's is a good example of specific feedback helping him out. Yea!

However, I sent out 88 queries for my first book, and even though I got several requests for fulls, I never got any feedback that helped me, just form rejections.

Have more people had an experience like mine or an experience like Allen's?

The Grump · Jan 17, 2008

I wish.

Scrawler · Jan 17, 2008

No agent has ever given me feedback on a query. (Actually, no agent has ever given me feedback on anything--discounting form letters of course.)

I can't help but tinker with it though. What sounded perfect on Monday can be improved upon by Thursday. And again by Sunday.

I'm wondering if I should have started querying the Smaller Agents" because each time I prepare a new query, I see an easy fix. In a month, my query will be perfect, but I'll already have hit the Bigger Agents.

dawinsor · Jan 17, 2008

I've never had direct feedback on a query, only on partials (and that was enormously helpful).

stutteredtruth · Jan 17, 2008

I've sent out some 10 queries. The first replies I received were just straight form letters. I realized I wasn't saying enough about my manuscript, I edited my letter and sent out a few more. Everything I have received since then has still been a rejection, but now every letter line or two of something encouraging. All this leads me to believe my initial query letter was flawed, and now it is just a matter of selling the story. It is a complicated plot that may not have a place in the market, yet. I think Prawn is right, agents don't typically tell you what is wrong with your query letter. It is up to you to recognize the problem.

RLB · Jan 17, 2008

Prawn said:
The following advice is frequently heard:

"Send out a few query letters at a time, that way if the agent gives you feed back, you can revise your query letter."

I've also never heard of feedback on a query letter. I think I'd restate this advice to read

1) "Send out a few query letters at a time, that way if the agent requests a full/partial and gives you feedback, you can revise your full/partial."

or

2) "Send out a few query letters at a time, that way if you only get form rejections at the query letter stage, you can revise your query letter."

Certainly #2 has helped me out. I've revised my query letter to the point where it occasionally garners partial requests. Now I'm just waiting for #1 to happen!

Prawn · Jan 18, 2008

RLB, I hope it happens, but let me tell you that it may not be that different at the partial/full stage. I had several people read my full, and got no feedback from them either.

Little Red Barn · Jan 18, 2008

Morning Prawn,
I have received feedback in the past regarding my query many times, but not about writing the query, per say. Amazingly, my agent said my query was one of the strongest, they'd ever received, would use it as part of the sub to pub process. A huge compliment as I broke every rule writing it. E.g, when others (writers) advised shortening, I lengthened. yada yada, blah, blah

Red-Green · Jan 18, 2008

I know it's not really what you mean, but Nathan Bransford helped me a ton on my query letter, but then he helps everybody. If you haven't checked his blog, you should. He has excellent query letter advice and often dissects query letters he receives.

Scrawler · Jan 18, 2008

Redzilla said:
I know it's not really what you mean, but Nathan Bransford helped me a ton on my query letter, but then he helps everybody. If you haven't checked his blog, you should. He has excellent query letter advice and often dissects query letters he receives.

Good suggestion. His Anatomy of a Good Query is interesting.

donut · Jan 18, 2008

So if you are getting nothing but rejections, change your letter? This seems like a shot in the dark, really. Maybe your letter is as good as it can get but your novel isn't marketable for a host of reasons.

When I sent out my first query, I got nothing but forms -- seriously, out of 20 queries, I got only one request. I took that as a sign, and decided to rework my query. When I started submitting again, I immediately got 6 requests out of 7 queries. Obviously, sometimes it's the query that's the problem.

FennelGiraffe · Jan 19, 2008

Prawn said:
So if you are getting nothing but rejections, change your letter? This seems like a shot in the dark, really. Maybe your letter is as good as it can get but your novel isn't marketable for a host of reasons.

That's a possibility, sure, but what if it is just the query letter that sucks? Isn't your novel worth the effort to try a different version?

Chumplet · Jan 19, 2008

When I first sent out query letters, I used Nicholas Sparks' query as a template. Bad idea. It certainly didn't work for me. The fact that I mentioned my dad liked the book was also a bad idea. Lots of form rejections.

Later, I consulted Evil Editor. When my letter appeared on his blog, I nearly peed my pants laughing at his comments, but he really had good advice. He offered a rewritten version and I used it for further queries. Eventually I put the book away and started a second, but then pulled the query out and tried with small publishers. It worked.

With my second novel, the same pattern emerged. When the query was reworked, I received a few requests for partials. The premise didn't win with American agents, so I went with a Canadian publisher since the book had a hockey romance theme. Again, it worked.

I'll go the same route with my third or fourth novels, running the queries through forums such as this one, and visiting agent blogs that offer direct input. Agents and editors are really helpful.

Prawn · Jan 20, 2008

EDIT: I tried to put lines breaks in the letter twice to no avail. Damn.[

quote=prawn]Maybe your letter is as good as it can get but your novel isn't marketable for a host of reasons. [/quote]

FennelGiraffe said:
That's a possibility, sure, but what if it is just the query letter that sucks? Isn't your novel worth the effort to try a different version?

Okay, I'll bite. I think my query letter was pretty good and it was the subject matter of my novel that cut down one the requests for partials. I know this isn't share your work, but here's my query. You be the judge if you think it was the letter holding me back. Dear FG, What happens when a man opposed to violence comes face to face with his daughter’s killer? Israeli police officer AKIVA finds the body of a teen-aged girl washed up on a Tel Aviv beach. She reminds him of his own daughter, murdered three years before. When Akiva’s investigation reveals that the drowned girl was Palestinian, suddenly the Israeli media loses interest, and Akiva is reassigned to another case. Determined to continue the investigation on his own, he must travel across the Green Line into Gaza to meet with the Palestinian police. What he discovers there brings him face to face with his own daughter’s killer, and the most difficult decision of his life. Dealing with themes of revenge and redemption, the mystery ACROSS THE GREEN LINE is complete at 92K words. Set in the tense climate of today’s Middle East, the action is reminiscent of Jon Land’s Walls of Jericho and Daniel Silva’s The Kill Artist, but deals with the realities of life in the region in a more intimate way than either. ACROSS THE GREEN LINE is my first novel, but I am no stranger to the setting and politics of the Middle East. I have a Ph.D. in Arabic and Hebrew linguistics, and I did research for the novel during two trips to the Middle East. The book has been proofed by both Israeli and Palestinian readers. While the novel is stand-alone, a sequel involving the same main character is nearing completion at 95K words. I hope you will be interested in ACROSS THE GREEN LINE. I have included the first chapter, and a one-page synopsis. I'd be happy to send you sample chapters or the complete manuscript for your review. Thank you for your time, and I look forward to hearing from you. Sincerely Yours, Prawn

Prawn · Jan 20, 2008

prawn said:
Maybe your letter is as good as it can get but your novel isn't marketable for a host of reasons.

FennelGiraffe said:
That's a possibility, sure, but what if it is just the query letter that sucks? Isn't your novel worth the effort to try a different version?

Okay, I'll bite. I think my query letter was pretty good and it was the subject matter of my novel that cut down one the requests for partials. I know this isn't share your work, but here's my query. You be the judge if you think it was the letter holding me back. Dear FG, What happens when a man opposed to violence comes face to face with his daughter’s killer? Israeli police officer AKIVA finds the body of a teen-aged girl washed up on a Tel Aviv beach. She reminds him of his own daughter, murdered three years before. When Akiva’s investigation reveals that the drowned girl was Palestinian, suddenly the Israeli media loses interest, and Akiva is reassigned to another case. Determined to continue the investigation on his own, he must travel across the Green Line into Gaza to meet with the Palestinian police. What he discovers there brings him face to face with his own daughter’s killer, and the most difficult decision of his life. Dealing with themes of revenge and redemption, the mystery ACROSS THE GREEN LINE is complete at 92K words. Set in the tense climate of today’s Middle East, the action is reminiscent of Jon Land’s Walls of Jericho and Daniel Silva’s The Kill Artist, but deals with the realities of life in the region in a more intimate way than either. ACROSS THE GREEN LINE is my first novel, but I am no stranger to the setting and politics of the Middle East. I have a Ph.D. in Arabic and Hebrew linguistics, and I did research for the novel during two trips to the Middle East. The book has been proofed by both Israeli and Palestinian readers. While the novel is stand-alone, a sequel involving the same main character is nearing completion at 95K words. I hope you will be interested in ACROSS THE GREEN LINE. I have included the first chapter, and a one-page synopsis. I'd be happy to send you sample chapters or the complete manuscript for your review. Thank you for your time, and I look forward to hearing from you. Sincerely Yours, Prawn

ErylRavenwell · Jan 20, 2008

Prawn said:
I am misconstruing it on purpose because I think that some people may have this interpretation. So if you are getting nothing but rejections, change your letter? This seems like a shot in the dark, really. Maybe your letter is as good as it can get but your novel isn't marketable for a host of reasons.

There's more to a rejection letter than meets the eye. You just have to start reading between the lines.

Anyway good post, Prawn; I'm always learning something from your experience.

JoNightshade · Jan 20, 2008

I sent out 105 queries in total, and I had 3 different queries. I sent out like 35 with the first, got a bunch of rejections, reworked it, sent out another 35, etc.

In the end, I got about the same stats (in terms of requests for more material) with each of the 3 letters. One of them didn't work better than the others. I think I got one request for a partial with each, and then from that one agent requested a full and signed me.

So anyway, I think for me the issue was not with my query, regardless of how it was worded or pitched. The issue was the novel itself. (Not that it has serious problems - it's just not an easy sell.)

Has an agent helped you improve your query letter?

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