Should I use the slang for characters' speech or not?

underthecity · Jan 5, 2008

In my novel, some of the present-day characters get possessed by ghosts of people who lived in 1924.

One 1924 character is a flapper. The other is a "businessman" bootlegger. The flapper has definite "unrefined" language, and they both speak using 1920s slang.

As a result of their possessions, and unbenknownst to them, the present-day characters start exhibiting traits used by the 1924 characters. Greg starts chain smoking. Denise becomes . . . promiscuous.

NOW, here's the problem that's been on my mind for about 330 pages now. At first I had the present-day characters start using some of the slang used by the 1924 characters. But after a couple of instances, I couldn't decide exactly when they would use the slang: all the time, periodically, or just when agitated. Also, I wondered if the reader would "pick up" on the slang usage, or just assume the present-day characters were using some odd terms of expression.

My cousin, a writing instructor and novelist, suggested I definitely have the present-day characters use the slang. It shows the weird connection they share with the 1924 characters.

The other choice is to forget the present-day use of the 1924 slang altogether and delete all instances of it. It would certainly be easier for me, the author, but the slang adds an undefinable something to the characters.

What do you think:

Keep the slang for the present-day characters' usage, or dump it?

If you vote that they keep it, how often should it be used? I mean, there's a lot of dialogue. How do I know when to sprinkle it in? How do I know if the reader will "get it?"

allen

slcboston · Jan 5, 2008

I think how often they use it might depend on how much they are possessed. For example, perhaps in the beginning it's only occurring infrequently, when your characters are stressed or caught off-guard. Then, as their possession deepens, so too could the slang.

The only thing I'd caution against is over-using it. It's one thing to use it to give the feel for the time, it's another entirely to bury your dialogue in it.

The other item that bears mentioning is your own ear for dialects. Some writers are really good at this, and it sounds sincere when they do it (Robert Parker's been noted for this, for example). Others - like me - have a really hard time getting characters to sound appropriate to period or other factors. So, if it were mine, I'd be using it more sparingly because it's not one of my strengths. But if it is for you, I'd say write what feels natural to your ears and go from there.

underthecity · Jan 5, 2008

Thanks, slcboston. I should have been more clear regarding the possessions: they only occur sporadically. It's not a constant thing, like the ghost is in there all the time. The possession happens, then the ghost exits the body to make another appearance later in the book.

I worry that I'm overdoing it when the 1924 characters take possession and talk like they're still in 1924. I'm thinking about posting some of it in SYW for illustration.

allen

johnzakour · Jan 5, 2008

I vote to keep the slang. Perhaps not for every word that could be "slanged" but just for a certain word or two. Believe me, readers will notice.

HeronW · Jan 5, 2008

Sporatic possession works with sporatic slang: 23 skidoo, you're the cats pajamas, um, I tink that's local for the 20ies. Making it authentic to the situation is crucial.

Also, very few people speak slang all the time so one utterance out of 50/75 is balanced.

Slang changes too, so humor can come from one char. today, possessed saying, 'You packin'?' meaning a gun to another who is a crossdresser, nodding and having latex substitutes for his/her portrayal of the opposite sex.

JoNightshade · Jan 5, 2008

If you're concerned about cluing the reader in (although I think they should get it), just have another reader comment on it. Example, if your possessed character is speaking to an old guy, maybe the old guy could say "[Slang word]? I haven't heard that expression since I was a kid! Is that coming back into style?"

underthecity · Jan 5, 2008

JoNightshade, I did exactly that in one passage. Greg said something was "the cat's meow," and the old guy laughs and says he hasn't heard that expression in ages.

allen

DeadlyAccurate · Jan 5, 2008

I vote keep it in. It would really help set the mood and the personalities of the ghosts. It would also make it easier to know when the ghosts are possessing the bodies, if that's not always obvious to the reader.

A very good mystery I read recently was The War Against Miss Winter that takes place in NYC during WW2. The author (she's an AW member, but I can't remember who at the moment) really knows how to use the slang of the era to set the tone. I felt like I was there.

Oberon · Jan 5, 2008

If the present-day characters are absorbing 1920's traits unconsciously, wouldn't they be surprised by some of the things they say ("where the hell did that come from?") I don't know where you want to go with the story, but you could use that mystification to add a little more tension, in the characters themselves.

Just a thought. Otherwise, use the slang, but sparingly. I think flappers correspond pretty much to 2000 valley girls in speech patterns. I could be wrong. Good luck.

David I · Jan 5, 2008

Keep it, keep it, keep it. But try and come up with some logic for when they do and don't use it. And perhaps add something that goes along with their periods when they get slangy (perhaps they don't smoke, but one of them smokes uncontrollably when they are feeling the past characters inside them; this is something that could be played with for fun, given how attitudes on smoking have changed.)

My point is, yes, I think it's good to show the possessors breaking through the personalities of the possessees. That would include slang and whatever else you can think of that seems like fun.

cethklein · Jan 5, 2008

Slang can be over-done though so be careful. I was doing a proofread of my novel awhile back and got to realizing the slang went a bit overboard so I whittled it down. I guess it's all down to preference. Just look at it and see if it "looks right" Get the opinion of a beta or two as well, that never hurts.

DeadlyAccurate · Jan 6, 2008

mollyluna said:
PS. I believe that 1920s "slang" would be considered dialect. (of course, I could be wrong)

I don't see how it would be dialect any more than modern slang would be. Dialect is usually writing it in the accent of the character.

"Zhee is not comink."
"Ah do declare, Scarlett. That thare is a warshin' machine."

IceCreamEmpress · Jan 6, 2008

I think that too much slang is too much, but just enough is AWESOME.

How will you know, underthecity? When you read it out loud and it sounds right to you.

My favorite 1920s slang locutions are the "You tell 'em" tags. "You tell 'em, corset, you've been around the ladies!" "You tell 'em, taxi, you've been around the block!"

JoniBGoode · Jan 6, 2008

I think using the slang regularly is a great way to illustrate the fact that the characters are possessed.

I think reader's will understand that it's 1920's slang, especially if you start with more familiar phrases ("on the lam") and progress to more unusual ("Now you're on the trolley!")

If you do it so the meaning is clear from context, I think it will be great. Looking forward to reading it!!

underthecity · Jan 7, 2008

Thank you for the feedback. I will keep the existing slang in present-day characters and work in some more, but at key points: say, when the characters are agitated and/or immediately following a possession, then sprinkle them in here and there. That may work.

Meanwhile, I've posted a sample of two scenes in which the 1924 characters have possessed taken possession in SYW. Please check it out and see what you think.

allen

Should I use the slang for characters' speech or not?

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slcboston

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johnzakour

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HeronW

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JoNightshade

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cethklein

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