Nit-Picky Sentence Question

Madison said:

Hint: There is one only really minor difference, but it's bugging me. Which should it be?


I cursed the rain. By the time I had dashed from Starbucks to my car, I was sopping wet and the cardboard cup containing my venti double shot Americano was mushy and threatened to disintegrate.

Or: ...the cardboard cup containing my venti double shot Americano was mushy and threatening to disintegrate

Maybe it doesn't matter, hence the Nit-Picky in the title.

Click to expand...

How about this?

By the time I had dashed from Starbucks to my car, I was sopping wet and the cardboard cup containing my venti double shot Americano was mushy, threatening to disintegrate.

I cursed the rain.

Madison said:

I cursed the rain. By the time I had dashed from Starbucks to my car, I was sopping wet and the cardboard cup containing my venti double shot Americano was mushy and threatened to disintegrate.

Or: ...the cardboard cup containing my venti double shot Americano was mushy and threatening to disintegrate

Click to expand...

They're both really long. Can you make this into more than just one sentence?

Is "threatening" a participle or does "was" also work with it? ("was mushy and [was] threatening to disintegrate.")

Right, it depends if you intended the "was" to carry over or not. Personally, I'd lose the "was mushy" part, because I think "disintegrate" implies it.

yep, it's "threatening" for the reason explained above. if you didn't intend to let the 'was' carry over, you'd be introducing a grammar snafu.

Usually when I find myself gnawing on something like this, I realize I haven't written the best sentence...

David I said:

Usually when I find myself gnawing on something like this, I realize I haven't written the best sentence...

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When I gnaw on a sentence like this, I usually just end up rewriting the whole thing completely...so I guess I'm in the same boat.

By the time I had dashed from Starbucks to my car, I was sopping wet. The cardboard cup containing my venti double shot Americano was threatening to disintegrate.

I cursed the rain.


Okay, I was up way past my bedtime. Previous suggestions are way better! I would put the cursed sentence after because IMHO it would be a consequence or reaction. Gets an expensive Starbucks coffee but by the time he gets to his car he's wet and the on the verge of losing the coffee. Hence he curses the rain! Cursing it beforehand seems off a bit, to me anyway. (But then I am off so....)