Is it understood?

I'd say so.

Yes. The quote relates uncomplicatedly back to the last person mentioned.

You're clear.

(I'm not sure the word "immediately" is working for its 5-syllable pay in the middle of that sentence though. Or maybe you weren't done with it ...)

Project nachonaco said:

Jessie dialed, then was immediately relieved when she heard her brother’s voice. “Braden Literary.”

If I write a sentence as such, is it understood that her brother is the one that's speaking?

Click to expand...

I think it'd be clearer if you started a new para. There's no reason not to, is there?


Not --

Jessie dialed, then was immediately relieved when she heard her brother’s voice. “Braden Literary.”

She wound the phone cord around her fingers. "I have to talk to you."



But --

Jessie dialed, then was immediately relieved when she heard her brother’s voice.

“Braden Literary.”

She wound the phone cord around her fingers. "I have to talk to you."

cmyk said:

(I'm not sure the word "immediately" is working for its 5-syllable pay in the middle of that sentence though.

Click to expand...

I think what bothers me is the dialing is 'immediately' followed by response.

In the real world you have click click crackle click, bring ... bring .... bring ...
and then the voice.