Horror Movie Pet Peeves

Any decapitated torso that has a life of its own, either flopping, kicking, or even running around trying to grab.

Fa gawd's sakes. The central nervous system has been severed. Watch a real decapitation on the internet freak sites, and it is quite obvious that it's over when the blade does its job.

Jeepers Creepers II comes to mind.

Tri

triceretops said:

Any decapitated torso that has a life of its own, either flopping, kicking, or even running around trying to grab.

Fa gawd's sakes. The central nervous system has been severed. Watch a real decapitation on the internet freak sites, and it is quite obvious that it's over when the blade does its job.

Jeepers Creepers II comes to mind.

Tri

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But...but...but.........Reanimator!

I hate when people are chased, mainly in a house, and they run UPSTAIRS! "Oh crap, something's chasing me! Let's run to the place with zero chance of escape!"

People who never grab anything for a weapon, ANYTHING! Digressing here... Ever see Armand Assante in "I The Jury"? At the end of the flick, when he's run out of guns and bullets, he stomps around the bad guy's compound with a 2x4! I loved it.

People who are driven by the insane desire to get real close to the recently downed mad man/ creature/ zombie/ etc., just to see, "if it's dead".

Pike

Pike said:

People who are driven by the insane desire to get real close to the recently downed mad man/ creature/ zombie/ etc., just to see, "if it's dead".

Pike

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Haha, yes! My first reaction would not be 'poke it with a stick' my first reaction would be 'GET THE F%*K OUT!'

I just hate, generally speaking, horror movies that seem to think that they are immune to the requirements of being a good "movie" because they happen to be in the horror genre.

More specifically, characters not killing (or trying to kill) the villain when they have a chance. It's one thing if you just want to run because you're panicked. That's believable. But when you've got a gun aimed on the guy who just tried to knife you and all you can do is say "Don't move or I'll shoot!" Screw that. Even if I'm flat out terrified I'm more likely able to pull the trigger than form a complete sentence.

I cannot stomach any movie that requires me to suspend disbelief more than one time (which, sadly, is way too many horror movies).

triceretops said:

Any decapitated torso that has a life of its own, either flopping, kicking, or even running around trying to grab.

Fa gawd's sakes. The central nervous system has been severed. Watch a real decapitation on the internet freak sites, and it is quite obvious that it's over when the blade does its job.

Jeepers Creepers II comes to mind.

Tri

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But...but...'Severance'. (Also, 'watch a real decapitation...etc' - that's a BIG 'No, thanks,' if I may make so bold. In fact it's more or less to be totally honest.)

Anyway, ooh, nice thread.

1. Teen girls with the survival skills of Navy Seals. They are the heroines, therefore, they can run forever, wield weaponry like experts, keep a cool head whilst being hunted by maniacs, save other people on the way, have a great plan, not be incapacitated by various injuries and do gymnastics.

2. The friend who comes up behind the hero and makes him jump. Stop it immediately.

3. People who think they must have just imagined seeing the rotting body of a dead cheerleader/priest/cat come creaking towards them (just before their friend comes up behind them and makes them jump).

Basic rules to survive:
Turn on the lights!
Don't go in the basement!
Don't wear high heels when running away from slow, ambling creature.
Watch where you are running! Step over all roots and rocks and duck when you see a tree branch!
Kill it! Don't let it sway you by temporarily showing you it used to be your significant other.
If the house is creepy looking, don't think it's a quaint fixer upper. Ask the realtor to show you something in a well-lit neighborhood.
When something says, "Get out" don't think twice, DO IT!
Don't take a shortcut through a graveyard at night.
Always carry a utility belt filled with garlic, silver, crucifix, salt, holy water, stakes, and a tiny version of the Bible, just in case.

Also, don't have cute kids. Flippin' demon-magnets. Stick 'em in an orphanage til they're 18, just to be safe.

And lock up all dolls in a steel security safe at night, just in case. Especially faceless ones with black eyes dressed in white. (Cripes, that thing gives me the creeps!)

Fa gawd's sakes. The central nervous system has been severed. Watch a real decapitation on the internet freak sites, and it is quite obvious that it's over when the blade does its job.

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In all fairness, when chickens are decapitated, they often flop around for a bit, even get up and run around.

I hate it when the heroic woman goes to the cellar, graveyard, haunted house, attic to investigate mysterious noises, screams, howls by herself!

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In a related move, the person being chased by the monster has a choice between running to 1) a street full of people or 2) a deserted graveyard at night. Which do they pick? The graveyard, of course!!

I also hate fight scenes where the mass of bad guys all patiently wait their turn to fight the good guy one at a time. Heck with that, just pile on.

And when the bad guys shoot a million bullets and manage to avoid hitting the hero. (Unfortunately, this is common to all types of moves.)

Or when people are shot from the front, yet manage to fall forward (generally then picturesquely falling down a cliff or whatever). (Hint - if a bullet hits you in the front, you generally fall backward.)

When the villian won't shut the deuce up. If he could just learn to keep his mouth shut and kill already, the whiny turd under his knife wouldn't get a chance to stab him in the eye.

And the token big-breasted woman. Once they start balancing it out with big-balled men running around in Speedos I'll stop . . . and then possibly retch a little because, like the boobs, they'd probably come flying out too.

Should you ever find yourself in a horror movie, reference this, and always utilize your common sense. It couldn't hurt.

BarbaraKE said:

(Hint - if a bullet hits you in the front, you generally fall backward.)

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Actually, the bullet won't MAKE you fall in any direction. It doesn't have that kind of impact. If the bullet has enough power to knock a person down (or as some movies show, pick the person up and throw them), then that same power would have been transfered to the person holding the gun, knocking them over. "For ever action, there is an equal and opposite reaction."

Ferret, who learns all his science from Mythbusters.

I hate the running scenes when you know the person (usually a girl) is going to fall down and sprain her ankle. I don't care if my leg got ripped off, somehow I'm going to still be moving on. I also hate it when the person shoots, stabs or whatever, the monster only once then walks away or turns their back. If some creepy thing is after me and I have a chance to hurt it.......I'm shooting or stabbing till my fingers fall off. It's got to look like hamburger before I leave the scene. When I see a dog in a horror movie, I say "goodbye dog" because it's generally going to die some horrible death.

Shadow_Ferret said:

And lock up all dolls in a steel security safe at night, just in case. Especially faceless ones with black eyes dressed in white. (Cripes, that thing gives me the creeps!)

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Check out his story on 'hauntedamericatours.com/museum/robertthedoll.htm'

If you think you're creeped out now...

I don't watch horror movies much any more because I got fed up with the screamers. What is it about all the girls and their screaming? All that expended engery gone to waste. I mean, you could use that to run or something.

The few times I have been scared in real life....I did not scream. I let my brain do the thinking and did what was necessary to get out of the problem.

CACTUSWENDY said:

The few times I have been scared in real life....I did not scream. I let my brain do the thinking and did what was necessary to get out of the problem.

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I usually just shit my pants.

CACTUSWENDY said:

I don't watch horror movies much any more because I got fed up with the screamers. What is it about all the girls and their screaming? All that expended engery gone to waste. I mean, you could use that to run or something.

The few times I have been scared in real life....I did not scream. I let my brain do the thinking and did what was necessary to get out of the problem.

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Too much screaming - yes, that's definitely one. Gets right on my nerves. Loved that first scene in 'Dog Soliders', with the chef and his girlfriend. Almost the whole attack was done without any screams, and the effect was truly refreshing.

I have to say that when I was little and some of my friends came by scratching on the bedroom window, I didn't pause to scream. I ran, on two frozen legs that hardly worked, into the middle of the hallway where I stopped to scream and scream and scream. The neighbor on that side of the house came running out with his shotgun and my friends were probably already on the other side of the block still running, until one had an asthma attach, had to be carried home and rushed to the hospital. But that's real life, LOL.

I hate when it's dark and I can't see what's happening anyway. What's to be afraid of?
And I really hate when they hit the guy and knock him out, then drop whatever they've picked up to use as a weapon and run. You don't want to kill the monster/bad guy? So is the knife/2X4 too heavy to take along just in case?

CACTUSWENDY said:

The few times I have been scared in real life....I did not scream. I let my brain do the thinking and did what was necessary to get out of the problem.

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Is that what's supposed to do the thinking? Even when you're scared? Heck, I guess I'll chalk it up to being a dude...

horror movies

I have many and some may already be listed. But, I'll just post the really irritating ones:

1. Contrived stories.
2. Horrible endings. For example, "American Haunting." It could've been such an awesome movie and then, pow, the ending just ruined it all. I live a few hours from Adams, TN. It would've been nice to see something a little more plausible or original or, well, anything aside from what it was.
3. Excessive denial. There comes a point in time where you know something abnormal is going on. Some characters are so dense they could trip over a dead body and dismiss it as a log.
4. Bad dialogue
5. Bad "one liners." Pinhead and Freddie Kruger were good at it.
6. Bad reviews, on the part of the critic. Critics who adore drama should not review horror. Critics who love action movies or detective movies should not review horror. Few are unbiased enough, or know enough about horror, to give an adequate review and they know it. They just don't care.
7. Excessive blood.
8. Misplaced sex or comedy. The world is coming to an end, we're stuck in the middle of nowhere with bloodthirsty, mutated creatures chasing us, an axe-yielding maniac is right behind us, a family of cannibals are chasing us through unfamiliar territory... let's party!
9. Stereotypes.
10. For me, that one deserves a second mention: stereotypes. We live in a rural Appalachian area and do own shoes. We have internet access, Starbucks, and too many tourists who like to point and gawk.

Also, woman are good as leads in horror, but are not superhuman unless genetically altered. Men aren't stupid or weak. I like movies where it's fairly equal.

Well, that's ten so I'm stopping there. Thanks!