Agents and Editors are People, Too

I think, perhaps, that authors forget that agents and editors are people, too. In the last two years, for example, I have gotten engaged, planned a wedding in CA from NYC, moved from NYC to CA to a rented house, gotten married, sold my apartment in NYC, found out the rental was infested with mold, trained for and completed a century bike ride for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society, bought a new house in CA, gotten into a dispute with a contractor and spent 8 months arguing with him and eventually going to arbitration (I won), decorated said new house, which we bought from the builder and needed so much work I will never buy a new house from a builder again, and we are trying to start a family. And you want to know why I haven't read your manuscript yet?

In all seriousness, I see two things on this board over and over that make my head spin.

1. The attitude that agents and editors are these incredibly corporate types running their businesses like finely crafted watches and they should have the ability to read and respond to material lickety-split;

2. The attitude that agents are these unapproachable, cold judges of your work upon whose decision your ability to be published will live or die;

Neither of these things are true. I have worked in publishing houses and I have worked at another agency and for other agents, and I have had my own agency for more than a decade. Editors and agents are people too, with all of the stress and anxiety anyone in business must deal with. They go home and have to deal with their spouses' bad days or their children's colds and tummy aches. Not to mention contractors who screw up the job and have to be forced to pay back what they owe you!

Moreover, publishing is perhaps the most subjective business in the world. Anyone who has ever attended an editorial meeting can tell you that. Give a manuscript out to three editors and the chances that all three will love it are close to nil. And if they do, it will be for different reasons. And if they don't, you'll never know if they really don't, or if you managed to tick one of them off in last week's meeting when you didn't like what he brought in, so he's just torpedoing your potential acquisition today.

Yes, if you get twenty rejections, it's the book, not the agents or editors. If you get ten that say the same thing, it's the book, not the agents or editors. But if you get nothing consistent, it may not be the book. It might be that you don't know your market and are pitching the wrong people. Or that you were wrong to write that nonfiction book on that subject because there are too many out there already.

I agree to rep books as an agent that I would never have acquired as an editor. Why? Because every house has its own personality and I was restricted by that when I worked at Warner or Berkley. But as an agent I have every publisher in the English-speaking world to try, if I want. And sometimes it's all just a numbers game.

So, please, fear not the agent or editor. But also don't have unreasonable expectations. That editor who just got back from maternity leave isn't getting any more sleep than she was while on maternity leave. She just had to come back to work. And that agent that you want to read your manuscript might just have a new wife who wants to sit and have dinner and discuss their days, and not have her husband slouched over a manuscript while he eats supper. The publishing world spins with no author or agent or editor at its center. Think of all that has gone wrong in your life or family today. Somewhere an editor or agent can relate. So be professional, have patience, and remember, if they aren't on your payroll, you really can't expect them to work any faster for you than anyone else.

Z

Ah, where to start????

If your agent was waiting for an answer from DAW, I hope he was on life support, because he might die of old age before they get back! DAW and Baen undoubtedly hold the world records in my experience for taking too long to get back. Though there is an editor at Berkley quickly catching up. And we're talking years here, folks, not months. And, yes, they have confirmed they have it and have promised to read it, etc. Over and over and over again. In the case of DAW or Baen, it's not like there's a boss to complain to. I'm dealing with the bosses. In the case of Berkley, well, I could drop a dime on the guy, but what would that actually get me? Think he's going to buy the books after I complain to his boss that he's had them since the editor to whom I originally submitted died? I think not.

When is enough enough? For me or for the author? Well, for me it's nearly never. I generally crack once in a while and rant at the editor about how long they are taking. Not surprising, it's not like they call me back and say, "Thank G-d you screamed at me. I read it last night and love it!" Chances are, if they've had it for two years and I'm still calling, they figure there's a reason it hasn't sold yet and they aren't missing out. Then again, I once did a two-book deal for an author whose first book had been rejected by Ace. Two years later, there was a new editor there. I sent her the book, having told her I thought her boss had rejected it two years prior, and she read it and offered on two books. Sometimes timing is everything!

As for you, ignore the guy not responding and keep looking elsewhere. You want a date with the girl or guy who takes six months to call you back? You want to marry that person? Of course not. If the agent is taking longer than you can accept, then he is the wrong agent for you. Let it go.

Agents are not the gate-keepers to publication, especially in this day and age. Authors have made thousands and maybe millions self-publishing. Publishers buy books direct from authors all the time. Will the deal suck? Probably. But you can go find an experienced publishing lawyer--Lance Koonce at DWT; Frank Curtis at Rembar & Curtis; Ken Norwick at Norwick & Schad--to review your contract. Or join the Authors Guild and let them review it (though they won't negotiate it).

But this idea that your life is over because you can't find an agent is no more valid than that your life is over because you haven't won the lottery.

And, while I'm on this subject, getting published is not winning the lottery. Most authors get about a $5,000 advance and never earn out. Yes, writing is an emotional process and frankly I think most authors would benefit by putting some distance between those emotions and their writing. Publishing is a business and the decisions that are made may have nothing to do with your writing. I have rejected books I loved because I saw no market for them. I have represented or published (when I was an editor) books I thought were crap but knew there was a market for them. Want to publish poetry? Great. Good luck with that. But be sure to get a really good job with health insurance because the chances of making a living as a poet are about 300 million to one, I'd say.

And, yes, it really is that hard to just hit reply and let you know I got your email. If we didn't, you should get a bounce notice, right? An autoresponder makes sense and I think an agent who accepts email queries but doesn't have an autoresponder is nuts. But the amount of time it would take to confirm, every email query personally, never mind respond is astronomical.

I am the customer from hell. I freely admit that. When a company pisses me off, I'm happy to write a ranting letter and demand satisfaction. But I know not one literary agency the size of US Airways, or Amazon, or Symantec, or UPS. Literary agents and publishers don't have dedicated "customer service" departments and they never will, at least not for authors, because authors are not customers. Customers are those who pay for something. In the real world, agents should be more concerned with publishers and having good relationships with them, because authors come and go, but publishers tend to stick around. Make an enemy of a publisher and you’ll feel that pinch a lot sooner than you will the pinch of an angry author.

Authors hate reading fees. The AAR doesn't allow its members to charge them. They are too vulnerable to abuse, the AAR says. Authors believe that agents should be "prospecting" for new clients and treat those clients as though they hold gold in their pockets, ready to give to them. But agents know all too well that this is not the case. Every agent I know rejects the vast majority of material that comes their way. So odds are that if I don't get back to someone, I am likely not missing out. And this is a truth every agent knows, even if she doesn’t mention it at writers’ conferences or on her blog.

I piss writers off at writer’s conferences because I talk about these things. I don’t encourage and nurture writers, any more than any boss I ever had encouraged or nurtured me to become an editor. They made me crawl through shit and broken glass to work my way up to a living wage. Should you have to do the same to get published? Maybe. There is something to be said for being tempered by critical fire. An author open to criticism and willing to work on their book is going to succeed. An author who believes the world is just not recognizing her talent may also succeed, but I think is less likely to do so. And an author who expects an agent or editor to read her material because--dammit!--isn't that his job is wrong.

My job is to represent the authors I have already agreed to represent. An editor’s job is to edit the books the publisher chooses to publish and, yes, to look for more. But that looking isn’t the priority when there’s a schedule to keep. And few editors get fired for not reading submissions fast enough. They do get fired for not getting their books to production on time.

That doesn't mean authors shouldn't be treated professionally or within "industry standards," but years and years of publishing have created this notion that agents are all powerful and that publishers are even more so and that you must bow down and do it their way or your life as a writer will end. And as many agents and editors believe that as writers do, unfortunately. And the “standards” resulting are not very author-friendly. But it isn't true. You can succeed without an agent or even a publishing house. It won’t be easy, but it will be a heck of a lot easier than it was last year, never mind ten years ago.

Z