Tell vs Show in First Person POV

windyrdg · Dec 8, 2007

I may be opening a big can of worms here, but the same thought keeps coming back to me: If a story is written in first person and there's a lot of exposition, it's not me (the author) telling, it's the character.

I know you can't have an entire novel without dialog, other characters, etc. However, it doesn't seem as bad somehow to let the character tell the reader how things happened or what went on.

As I recall Raymond Chandler had long passages in which his character brought the reader up to date, explained where he was going, what he was doing and so on.

I think this breaks down when the character is driving across a bridge and starts telling the reader how the bridge was built, how long it took and so on. Assuming all of that is a travelog and not relevant to the story.

wayndom · Dec 8, 2007

I agree completely. In first-person, the narrator should sound like a real person talking, and real people talking rarely use direct quotes.

The only rule is, grab and hold the reader's interest. The first-person narrator isn't allowed to bore the reader any more than a third-person narrator.

kuwisdelu · Dec 8, 2007

I don't see why you couldn't have a novel without dialogue or without other characters... It'd probably be more difficult to write, but certainly still possible...

But yes, the first-person narrator isn't allowed to bore the reader any more so than the third-person narrator. Maybe it's just me, but I don't see how telling v. showing should be much different between first and third person.

maestrowork · Dec 8, 2007

Show vs. tell still applies to first person narrative. It's still about things happening, but you're allowed to get close to the narrator's internal feelings and thoughts, but don't abuse that intimacy. Too much "navel gazing" is going to significantly bore the readers unless your narrator is full of personality and your readers would not even mind listening to him read the phone book.

Imagine you listening to someone talking about themselves -- what would you want? Do you want to hear them going in circles talking about how they feel and think, or would you want to hear about what happened to them on Saturday night when a giant peach fell on him?

FennelGiraffe · Dec 8, 2007

wayndom said:
I agree completely. In first-person, the narrator should sound like a real person talking, and real people talking rarely use direct quotes.

I don't know what real people you've been listening to. I hear people quoting others all the time.

Unless you mean that real people rarely quote perfectly. That I can agree with. It usually ends up as a paraphrase, but people think they're quoting what was actually said.

I don't find it at all unusual in real life to hear something like:

When I got there Rachel was like,"That's not a good idea." An' Amanda goes, "I can if I want to." An' I go, "C'mon. You oughta listen to Rachel." An' then Amanda just stomps away.

With the usual fictional convention of cleaning up dialog to make it realistic (as opposed to real), I would expect to read that in a first person POV as:

As I entered the room, Rachel was jabbing her finger in Amanda's face. She said, "That's a really bad idea".

Amanda slapped Rachel's hand aside and said, "I can if I want to".

I walked over and put one hand on each of their shoulders. I made my voice as gentle as I could. "Amanda. You should listen to Rachel."

It didn't help, though. Amanda slammed the door hard as she left.

blacbird · Dec 8, 2007

Maestro is exactly correct. There's no difference in the dialectic of the "show vs. tell" dictum between first person narration and third person. It's not an issue of "who" is narrating the story. It's an issue of what needs to be narrated in vivid descriptive factual detail and what can (or needs to be) summarized via judgmental prose. Not always an easy call, but if you need to ask, you're probably better off "showing" than "telling".

caw

Danger Jane · Dec 9, 2007

wayndom said:
I agree completely. In first-person, the narrator should sound like a real person talking, and real people talking rarely use direct quotes.

This I don't agree with. I write in first/present, with the design of existing in a character's head. When you open the book, you are entering the character's mind--he's not telling a story to you or reminiscing about one, he's living the events on the page. So sometimes direct quotes are in order, sometimes not. It all depends on his frame of mind.

It's all about a balance of tell and show, just like in third person.

maestrowork · Dec 9, 2007

When in doubt, read. There are tons and tons and tons of really good first person fiction out there (ahem.... mine!). "Show, not tell" is well and alive.

jenstrikesagain · Dec 9, 2007

FennelGiraffe's example above is great for show and not tell. We know Amanda's angry. We know her friends wish she'd calm down and think it through. Does anyone say so? No. Here's a bad example of tell and not show--Katherine Kurtz's first St. Camber book. I probably read it 20 years ago and I don't remember even the title but I do remember that in the first chapter, some character's eyes "gleamed with the light of the religious fanatic." Thanks, Katherine. I wouldn't have known that from his behavior five second later when he whacked somebody with a crucifix and said, "Get behind me Satan." So think FennelGiraffe and not Kurtz, Grasshopper, and you should be good to go.

Tell vs Show in First Person POV

windyrdg

New kid, be gentle!

wayndom

kuwisdelu

Revolutionize the World

maestrowork

Fear the Death Ray

FennelGiraffe

It's green they say

blacbird

Danger Jane

maestrowork

Fear the Death Ray

jenstrikesagain