Best way to write scene sequence on one page

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Hello, writing a script that contains a scene sequence in which I'm cutting back and forth between:
1. A deck
2. A living room
3. A clearing in a park
4. A kitchen
5. The master bedroom
6. The clearing again.

Is there a way to write it without so many scene headings?

The sequence as written is below:

EXT. THE BACK DECK -- NIGHT

Music blasts from stereo speakers. Cathy drinks from a hose with a funnel on the end. Ron pours a beer in the funnel and she downs it in seconds.

RON
Alright! That's my girl! Joe, you're next!

RON/JOE
No you're next! Ok, I'm next, then you're next, etc.
(laughter)

Cathy dances around with a shot glass in her hand as Joe loads the funnel for Ron.​

CUT TO:​

INT. THE LIVING ROOM -- NIGHT

Alexa sits flipping TV channels. Emily has fallen asleep beside her.​

CUT TO​

EXT. THE CLEARING -- NIGHT

WIDE SHOT We hear night sounds and dogs barking. Jeffrey lays on the ground. We can hear the sound of the party.​

CUT TO:​

INT. THE KITCHEN -- NIGHT

The back door opens with a bang and Ron carries a drunken Cathy in to the master bedroom.​

CUT TO​

INT. THE MASTER BEDROOM -- NIGHT​

Ron drops her on the bed, falls on top of her and they kiss.
CUT TO​

EXT. THE CLEARING -- NIGHT

Jeffrey paces around in the clearing, shivering. He looks in the direction of the house.
CUT TO​

Thanks for any input or help - Craig
 
Last edited:
dpaterso

dpaterso

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Welcome to the board, I hope you find what you're looking for here.

Once you establish the house and the clearing with full scene headings (e.g. INT. RON'S HOUSE - NIGHT and EXT. CLEARING IN PARK NEAR HOUSE - NIGHT or whatever fits) you can switch to mini-slugs, e.g.

BACK DECK

Stuff happens.

LIVING ROOM

Stuff happens.

CLEARING

Stuff happens.

KITCHEN

Stuff happens.

MASTER BEDROOM

Stuff happens.

CLEARING

Stuff happens.

etc.

A couple of random/trivial thoughts while I'm here:

You don't need camera directions (unless you're planning to direct this yourself) which are frowned upon, and may be regarded as a mark of the amateur who doesn't know any better. I'd cut them out.

CUT TO: has pretty much gone out of fashion, when you think about it every new scene heading is a CUT TO by default, so consider getting rid of them and saving yourself some lines.

Use of "We hear" isn't a crime but you could as easily cut out the filtering and say it directly, e.g. "Crickets chirp, dogs bark in the distance. Jeffrey lies on the ground, listening to the party."

"Ron carries a drunken Cathy in to the master bedroom." -- unless the master bedroom is just off the kitchen, you could drop "to the master bedroom"

Don't feel obliged to agree, each to their own style, I'm just another wannabe screenwriter not a guru.

-Derek
 

NikeeGoddess

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if you have a location change then you should have a new scene heading. if you don't do this (b/c there are no hard rules only guidelines) then you must establish the location at it's first instance. but i wouldn't recommend this with the example you've given... unless in that example the clearing is in the back yard of the house.

if you scenes are all in one location (like a house) but different rooms (and this is not the case b/c you go outside then inside) then you can shorten them like dpat's example.
 
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