Screenwriting Idiot Here!

[maddythemad]

Hello everyone!

I'm a novelist, but in my newest book there is a lame screenplay writer (I'm sorry! There are no novelists at all, so you can assume we're so lame we're off-the-radar) who wants to make it big in Hollywood, but isn't finding any success. My question is, is the first step for screenplay writers to find an agent, just like with novelists? And er... what next? Sending it to directors? Or can you send straight to directors?

As you can tell, I'm hopelessly ignorant.

Help would be appreciated! :) And if you wanted to be really, really awesome, you could tell me about a rather stupid way to go about trying to get your screenplay turned into a blockbuster movie. (IE cold-calling Steven Spielberg, and telling him you have his dear old mother locked in a basement. Whatever.)

Thank you very muchly!

~ Madeleine

[NikeeGoddess]

unfortunately, there is no one way to break in the door. going through proper channels like you said, "get an agent first" can be more difficult than getting a staffer from a production company to read your script.

here are some examples:

front door approach - via an agent to a producer

side door approach - skip the agent and go directly to a small time producer

front window approach - become a finalist in a major competition and have people asking you for the script

back door approach - you know a seasoned actor or director (not a writer because they're your competition) well enough that they will slip your script to a major producer
Or - you're a hair stylist and when that producer comes in for a dye job they're forced to hear your pitch while you do their hair

rear window approach - you play racketball at the same gym that a producer/actor/director attends and you become mad friends and competitors on the court and he or she will read your script
OR - you're a caddy in a golf club and your script accidently falls into the golf bag of that particular producer.

urinal window approach - you write your logline on a slip of paper and tape it at face level above the urinal. guys who don't know where to look when they pee will be compelled to read it over and over and over again.

bathroom skylight approach - you work in the lot's cafeteria and you slip something nasty in a particular producers lasagna which sends him to the toilet where he will find your entire script written on the toilet paper that he uses. if he likes the story he will ask someone from another stall to hand him a roll of paper. if he thinks it's crap then... well, you know.

[odocoileus]

http://www.loreleiarmstrong.com/The%20Business.html



http://www.loreleiarmstrong.com/The%20Mistakes.html



http://www.loreleiarmstrong.com/The%20Twelve%20Steps.html

[FinbarReilly]

Backing up a step...

There are two types of screenwriters: Those with cachet and those without. Those with can talk to one of the various types (producer, exec, director, even an actor), and get the financial aspects of the movie rolling as they write the script. For them, it's idea, get financial backing, write script.

Those without need to write the bloody thing first. Without the script,they have nothing to discuss with an agent or producer or whatever. For them, it's idea, write script, get backing.

And with the right screenwriter, the writing can be interesting...

FR

[maddythemad]

Thanks, guys! This'll definitely help.

Love the bathroom skylight approach, NikeeGoddess. ;)

[NikeeGoddess]

go here, maddy: http://newyork.craigslist.org/dmg/

[icerose]

Maybe I'm the odd one out, but I'm trying to build my resume right now. Working with smaller companies, getting credits, getting things produced, so I have something to show for myself when I get higher up. Not to mention it's great practice, and getting paid even a little bit is better than just struggling.

I also hope that I'm making contacts and building a foundation for the heftier things that lie in the future.

[RainbowDragon]

Stupid ways to break into screenwriting:

Write a 1,000 page spec sequel or prequel to a popular movie (that he or she didn't write or have the rights to) and send it to all the major agencies, producers and talent without querying first (they all would have said "NO!") If he/she is clueless, they could take the fact that entities may have recycled/destroyed it without returning it to sender as being "under consideration".

Even worse if he/she faxed it to their offices!

[NikeeGoddess]

2 success stories with different approaches

adaptation -- twin brothers: one goes through the proper channels of success by being a great writer. the other gets overnight success by attending a screenwriting seminar, following the formula to success, and selling his first script which happened to be ultra absurd but it fit the structure of a script so they bought it.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0268126/

[Nateskate]

unfortunately, there is no one way to break in the door. going through proper channels like you said, "get an agent first" can be more difficult than getting a staffer from a production company to read your script.

here are some examples:

front door approach - via an agent to a producer

side door approach - skip the agent and go directly to a small time producer

front window approach - become a finalist in a major competition and have people asking you for the script

back door approach - you know a seasoned actor or director (not a writer because they're your competition) well enough that they will slip your script to a major producer
Or - you're a hair stylist and when that producer comes in for a dye job they're forced to hear your pitch while you do their hair

rear window approach - you play racketball at the same gym that a producer/actor/director attends and you become mad friends and competitors on the court and he or she will read your script
OR - you're a caddy in a golf club and your script accidently falls into the golf bag of that particular producer.

urinal window approach - you write your logline on a slip of paper and tape it at face level above the urinal. guys who don't know where to look when they pee will be compelled to read it over and over and over again.

bathroom skylight approach - you work in the lot's cafeteria and you slip something nasty in a particular producers lasagna which sends him to the toilet where he will find your entire script written on the toilet paper that he uses. if he likes the story he will ask someone from another stall to hand him a roll of paper. if he thinks it's crap then... well, you know.

Excellent read!

[Nateskate]

Stupid ways to break into screenwriting:

Write a 1,000 page spec sequel or prequel to a popular movie (that he or she didn't write or have the rights to) and send it to all the major agencies, producers and talent without querying first (they all would have said "NO!") If he/she is clueless, they could take the fact that entities may have recycled/destroyed it without returning it to sender as being "under consideration".

Even worse if he/she faxed it to their offices!

Ah, but then there's the turnaround. One copy that's meant to be discarded winds up atop of an important document in the trash can. The thoughtless clerical picks up the script and leaves it on the table while fishing for said document.

This then winds up moving to a different, more important pile by accident, leading to a read and discovery.

A year later when the writer is standing on the bridge rail, feeling like a failure ready to end it, there's a call on the cell phone!

[preyer]

...or just pull the fire alarm and hope he doesn't lock the door behind him. slip in and stuff in the middle of scripts under consideration. plausible? completely not. is there a script in bizarre ways to get a producer's attention? maybe. i'm seeing danny devito in a godzilla suit.... he plays all the roles in it. well, i bet danny devito would like it.... or just get a note to him saying you'll wash and wax his car for a month if he'll read it. he likes it enough to make into an adult movie. but danny devito as a porn star is just wrong.

maybe it's actually late enough for me to go to bed, ya think?