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Critique needed for 2000 word first chapter in fantasy novel

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Lynn.Wilde

Right now, my goal is to get the first chapter spruced up. I have until March 1st to be done with it, and that sounds like a lot of time to me, but I know better than to procrastinate on this.

I have the first chapter of a fantasy novel written, and I would like someone with a love for the fantasy genre and a near-death, or death works too, grip on English mechanics, usage, and grammar. The chapter is technically from NaNo, so I know it is wordy, but I am not sure how much to cut, etc.

I need someone willing to stick out several drafts with me. On the plus side, you get to have fun ripping it to shreds. That is what I want. I want it to be torn apart, every bad thing kicked out and every decent or good thing made even better. I can take harsh criticism so long as it is also constructive, and that is the kind of help that I prefer.

Thank you for your time.
 

Puma

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Hi Lynn, I see you're a newcomer to AW. Are you aware of the Share Your Work Forum (and subforums) that's a little below this one on the main board? In Share Your work there is a sub-forum for sci-fi / fantasy that's very active - lot of people willing to read and make comments and give critiques. You might want to give that a try. Puma
 

Lynn.Wilde

I am aware of it, Puma, though thank you for pointing it out. I am looking for a more one-on-one basis with this story, at least for right now, especially since it is still in its rough stages.
 

Melanie Nilles

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I have some time right now. I'm trying not to get involved in writing something new. (I'll be heavy into edits soon with my publisher.) This would get me into edit mode too :D

PM me and I'll send an email address.
 

chroniclemaster1

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I'd be willing to give it a crack. I'm an English major that did a fair amount of tutoring in composition about 5 years back. I'm writing my own stories now, and I'm looking for stuff to edit to get my edge back. Fantasy fan, I'm writing in the fantasy/action genre. I'd be willing to shred 2000 words. Sounds fun. :D
 
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