Opening the closet door...

Madison · Nov 19, 2007

This weekend, I told every single one of my friends that I am a writer, that the whole wanna-be doctor thing was a front, that I'm going to major in creative writing in college - I unloaded the whole truth. And it was so RELIEVING!

I read a post a while ago asking who on AW was still 'in the closet,' (aka were 'secret' writers) and it seemed like a lot of people were. I was. But from the other side, having people know I write is freeing! I feel like I've escaped from some sort of underground prison, or ended a covert mission that I couldn't tell anyone about. They know, which means they know me better.

So here's a challenge: tell someone, someone close to you or maybe just an acquaintance, that you write. Yeah, it's awkward. I had to tell my eight best friends in the world that I had written three books and not told them. But when it's all over, trust me, it's way worth it.

III · Nov 19, 2007

Congratulations Madison!

KTC · Nov 19, 2007

Madison said:
This weekend, I told every single one of my friends that I am a writer, that the whole wanna-be doctor thing was a front, that I'm going to major in creative writing in college - I unloaded the whole truth. And it was so RELIEVING!

I read a post a while ago asking who on AW was still 'in the closet,' (aka were 'secret' writers) and it seemed like a lot of people were. I was. But from the other side, having people know I write is freeing! I feel like I've escaped from some sort of underground prison, or ended a covert mission that I couldn't tell anyone about. They know, which means they know me better.

So here's a challenge: tell someone, someone close to you or maybe just an acquaintance, that you write. Yeah, it's awkward. I had to tell my eight best friends in the world that I had written three books and not told them. But when it's all over, trust me, it's way worth it.

That's wonderful!!!! I'm so thrilled for you, you don't know. I waited until I was in my mid-thirties to do it. I was actually forced back into the closet at a young age...so I think it's great that you did it. I hope others take you up on your challenge. I'm out and happy. It's a terrible thing to hide your desire to write. It burns inside and out. Congratulations!

Stew21 · Nov 19, 2007

I hid mine for a long time too. Now I have no trouble telling anyone who's curious.

Damn right I write!

It hasn't really sunk in with my parents yet I don't think. They don't ask and I don't tell. They know I do it, it's a "we'll believe you're serious about it when we see results." They'll get over it.

Good for you, Madison!

Serena Casey · Nov 19, 2007

Way to go, Madison! I've told those closest to me, but most of my friends don't know I write, either. They already think I'm weird enough.

a_sharp · Nov 19, 2007

"I'm a writer."

"I write novels."

I love telling people that, love hearing myself say it. The more you say those words, the more they define who you are in your own mind.

Storyteller5 · Nov 19, 2007

Good for you, Madison! How was the reaction?

When I started telling people I write, I think a lot of them weren't sure how to react. I didn't get a "can I read something you've written" from many people and not from my family at all. I suspect maybe they didn't know what to say so they didn't say anything.

ishtar'sgate · Nov 19, 2007

Nice going! I don't know why it should be so hard to tell people. It's not like you're admitting to being a serial killer or anything but it takes some doing to get up the courage to say it. Maybe we need a Writers Anonymous. 'Hi, my name is Linnea and I'm a writer!!'
Now that it's old news, the most embarrassing part for me is having people who know me introduce me to strangers and enthusiastically inform them I'm a writer. I find that real uncomfortable.
Linnea

Madison · Nov 19, 2007

Storyteller5 said:
How was the reaction?

Really positive, actually. I was mainly worried because two of them are serious writers, too, but they haven't finished any books. I felt sort of like a one-upper, breezing in and saying I've written three. But everyone was supportive and declared themselves my editors, and were happy that I've found my profession.

WildBill · Nov 19, 2007

Go, Madison!

Personally, I've got no problem telling other folks I write, it's convincing myself of that that is difficult. During the Gulf War (1990-1991), I wrote letters home that, to my horror, ended up being published in the local newspaper. I was stupified. Later, I started writing Christian theological articles, and some folks were actually reading them. I was asked to be a writer for a large blog because of this, which I of course politely declined.

Writers are educated about their craft. Informed. Learned in the ways of construction with the tools of English. I'm a high-school dropout. I've got no clout, experience or education in how to do any of this. I tell people I write, but it's mostly a farce. I've got raw talent, I'll admit, but not the discipline to make it worthy of publication.

At this point, I consider myself to be a guy in middle-age crisis who wanted to be a writer but didn't do it, and so is trying to shore up the missing holes in his life. Telling folks I write is more of a way to justify my own failures than it is to produce something meaningful in print. Yes, I'd like to say that I'm working to change that, but I also can't say that I mean that with the fullness of heart.

My hope is that, through associating with folks like y'all who have done the thing I only wished I could do, I may muster the canoles to actually do the thing that, deep in the bowels of my soul, I always wanted to do.

Theognome

Stew21 · Nov 20, 2007

Last night I was talking to my stepmom on the phone. After this thread, I figured "WTH" and I said, "oh you know that novel I was working on. I finished it."
"Good for you, Trish. I'm so proud of you."
So we talked for a bit. She wanted to know what it was about. She was still thinking it was the first one I wrote, so it was fun to tell her this was a new one - another one.
So we discussed. She asked if she had to wait until it is published to read it. I laughed (people really don't know what that takes, do they?)
I told her she could read it, cautioned her on the language (she doesn't like too much of that, but my characters really do.)

I told her I'd send it over. :shrug:

Thanks for reminding me to give them another chance to accept it.

WittyandorIronic · Nov 20, 2007

Congrats Madison!!
Though I only saw your post this morning, I finally let my husband read something I wrote, for the first time, last night.
It felt freeing, but only made me more neurotic.

Wraith · Nov 20, 2007

Awesome, Madison! I'm glad it felt so freeing. And that they reacted nicely

I'm more of a closet writer myself (apart from a couple of close friends and family), but that might change when I finally finish something I'm proud of. I keep trying

I'll keep your challenge in mind, though. Secret lives are weird.

KTC · Nov 20, 2007

Theognome said:
Writers are educated about their craft. Informed. Learned in the ways of construction with the tools of English.

This is not true of all writers. I'm in about the same boat as you. Part of giving myself permission was getting over that boundary that I could do it even without having studied it. I didn't study writing. What I know, I taught myself...and I'm not a very good student. I have an attention span of a...insert something here that has a zero attention span...one of the reasons I disallowed myself to write was the belief that I had to have taken university level courses to have a comprehension level capable of writing. One day I just said F*** it. I have to write. My body needs for me to write. I am not learned. I write because I always wanted to. Your life sounds pretty much on par with mine. I'm not calling mine a mid-life crisis, though. Mine is a mid-life awakening.

truelyana · Nov 20, 2007

I'm so happy for you Madison.

It must feel great to let other's know, a big part of who you are. YEY

For me, I've never had to tell anyone as my family have always pretty much known. My mum said she realised that I was a writer, when I was one and I was scrunching a piece of paper. She brought me a giant writing pad, and I would scribble page by page, and indicate that my writing was done. lol. A few years later, I would write short stories in Portuguese, and give them to my parents as a gift. I continued to do this through my teenage years, and got really involved in creative writing, poetry, songwriting, novels amongst other things throughout the years, in my first language Portuguese and second language English.

Simple Living · Nov 20, 2007

The truth shall set you free! Good job! Nothing like feeling free to be who you are!

I have a sincere, nonjudgmental question. People really hide that they're writers from others? It never occurred to me to do this. Why? Is there a public stigma that I'm unaware of? This really intrigues me now!

Devil Ledbetter · Nov 20, 2007

Simple Living said:
I have a sincere, nonjudgmental question. People really hide that they're writers from others? It never occurred to me to do this. Why? Is there a public stigma that I'm unaware of? This really intrigues me now!

I wondered about that too. Everyone I know IRL considers me a writer, even though I hadn't done a novel. When I mention I'm writing one, the responses are "well, of course," "I always thought you should" and "I can't wait to read it."

Is there some stigma to being a not-yet-published novelist?

Shadow_Ferret · Nov 20, 2007

Madison said:
So here's a challenge: tell someone, someone close to you or maybe just an acquaintance, that you write. Yeah, it's awkward. I had to tell my eight best friends in the world that I had written three books and not told them. But when it's all over, trust me, it's way worth it.

You do what works for you. I'll do what works for me.

Besides, until I've published my novel, I don't consider myself a writer, so there's nothing to tell.

Theognome said:
Writers are educated about their craft. Informed. Learned in the ways of construction with the tools of English.

Well, that certainly explains why I'm not a writer.

Stew21 · Nov 20, 2007

For me it was just never considered a serious avenue to pursue and an odd hobby to have.
They never really discouraged it, it was more of a "that's nice, dear".

and with acquaintances, sometimes people just look at you funny.
I was met with a "what makes you think you can do that?"

But when I decided to get serious about it, I didn't have that problem as much. Turns out people are about half amazed that "just anyone" would set out and write novels.

I don't know why it took me so long to tell family "hey, I'm really doing this." I still get the "that's nice dear" from some of them. Some of them don't really ask questions or want to know any more on the topic. Turns out though, some of them do. I still think most of them will believe it when they see it. I'll be sending out the "see it" email to my stepmom later today.

Prawn · Nov 20, 2007

Good luck coming out of the closet!!!!

a_sharp said:
"I'm a writer."

"I write novels."

I love telling people that, love hearing myself say it. The more you say those words, the more they define who you are in your own mind.

I tell people I am an "aspiring novelist" as in I aspire to sell something. I could write all day long, but for me, I want to write something that will sell.

Simple Living · Nov 20, 2007

KTC said:
I wasn't allowed to explore my creativity as it was believed it contributed to a particular malady of mine. Turns out not exploring my creativity contributed to it. And, to be fair...I can't say 'not allowed', but strongly discouraged (in my childhood and teens). You carry the baggage with you when you leave the nest whether you want to or not. I was told not to write. not to paint. not to draw. not to everything else creative. It was a sickening stigma...grossly frowned upon. I still did it always...but secretively...shamefully...until I learned how powerful I was at rebellion. Then it was paint the walls, the stairs, the windows, the dishes. But I still held that constant struggle within me. Writing bad. art bad. creativity bad. It was equated with illness...ugliness...shame. Then, like I said...one day I just said F*** it. My body said no more fighting the constant struggle against it.

We all have different reasons, I am sure. And it probably seems odd to those of you who have always been supported to learn that some do worse than not support you.

Well, I'm glad you overcame all of that to be able to be yourself. I can't imagine locking up the creative part of who you are. Bravo to you!

KTC · Nov 20, 2007

Simple Living said:
Well, I'm glad you overcame all of that to be able to be yourself. I can't imagine locking up the creative part of who you are. Bravo to you!

Twas nothin'. I just brought myself to the brink of death and then closed my eyes and jumped off the cliff.

Shadow_Ferret · Nov 20, 2007

a_sharp said:
The more you say those words, the more they define who you are in your own mind.

But "writer" isn't what defines me any more than any other job I've done has ever defined me.

I am who I am, and defy all definitions. I can't be summed up in one word.

KTC · Nov 20, 2007

Shadow_Ferret said:
But "writer" isn't what defines me any more than any other job I've done has ever defined me.

I am who I am, and defy all definitions. I can't be summed up in one word.

How about disagreeable. (-;

Shadow_Ferret · Nov 20, 2007

I'll agree with that. :tongue

Opening the closet door...

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