Correcting an agent?

rewrite the sentence so that there's no room left for misinterpretation.

I agree with clara, just rewrite it and move on.

Hmm, a heart plagued by darkness. We do have at least one doctor who posts here, maybe he can pipe up, but for this to literally be true it would seem the character would have to have a cardiological equivalent of black lung disease. (Could you have said the character "has black heart disease" or would that be too much of a change in meaning?) The word literally has a quite specific and narrow meaning, and I've read about it becoming more and more overused and misused. So I think just based on that, I'd have to side with the agent.

Just Googling[TM] the word, because I'm interested in this word and its usage, brings up some interesting pages, such as this short rant:
http://wsu.edu/~brians/errors/literally.html
and a venerable online site I've been looking up words on for about ten years:
http://www.m-w.com/dictionary/literally
which gives two definitions, one literal and one not (!), but there's also the Usage note suggesting a controversy about the second meaning.

Then there's this rather longish rant that DEFENDS a non-literal use of the word:
http://www.slate.com/id/2129105/
followed by three very good comments. I especially like the first comment, which summed up says if we allow literal to be used in a figurative way, then what word do we have that means literal in its original sense?

And if literal turns out to mean figurative, does nonliteral have any meaning???

One more thing that may count against its use: that word is an ... do I really want to name that part of speech?

ETA: This appears to be more of a grammar question (though 'political' questions about agents like and don't like are surely very important as well), though if a mod moves it to "Grammar for Grasshopers" I'd request that "The definition of literally" be added to the topic line.

How is his heart literally plagued by darkness? Does he have the black plague? Either make this more clear in your query or take it out.

Conman said:

the character's heart really is LITERALLY plagued by darkness.

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Yes ... I'd make that more clear in your query letter. The agent obviously didn't catch what you meant.

You could add "...literally, no, I mean LITERALLY literally."

Kidding. I'd take it out. Maybe this agent just wasn't paying attention after reading "literally."

Conman said:

He has this black creature (basically just pure darkness) inside his heart and it is slowly expanding throughout his body. And I DID clearly explain this later in the query, which is why I'm not sure why the agent would say that.

I figure if I just take out the "literally" it would make more sense. I only put that in in the first place because I didn't want people to think it was just a figure of speech. I guess that's backfiring now, though.

Click to expand...

So NOW I see (said the blind man!). My guess is the agent was so disgusted with the apparent non-literal use of literally that he didn't read any further.

Why not try running your query through SYW, Conman? You might get some good feedback that will help. After I placed mine there, and reworked it, I got a request for a full MS at Writer's House. Dan Lazar passed on it after a few days, but it got his attention. My story just isn't what he prefers to rep.

Yes, I agree. Send it over to SYW. Folks there are great.

Without having seen the query or the response from the agent, I will say that "literally" is one of the more overused words among queriers. As I said during the first line contest on my blog, a lot of times people will say something shocking and then follow it up with "Literally," or use "literally" as a qualifier when whatever they're emphasizing is already apparent. It's hard to use the word "literally" without making it sound redundant.

So, for instance, I think "his heart is plagued by pure darkness" is a cleaner, more descriptive sentence than the one with the "literally" in it. If you go on to explain what is in his heart you won't need the "literally."