Scab writers for bad shows?

MattW · Nov 8, 2007

I'm going to do my part for improving American television: I am willing to cross the lines and write for any show that will have me that I don't watch.

If you produce or direct and of the following, please call me:

Any number of girl-investigator shows
- Including subtypes of Paranormal, SF, or All-Female
Law and Order original or extra crispy spinoffs
Ethnic Comedy #43
"Unscripted" reality shows
Any and all hospital shows on the air more than 5 seasons
Annoying generic sitcoms with:
- little known stand-up comedians
- former co-stars of more popular shows
- the brothers of deceased comedians
Cavemen in Trees
Shows no one believes are actually on anymore

For these shows, I can and will write my heart out, doing my damnedest to make them worse than they seemingly are with union writers.

robeiae · Nov 8, 2007

I have an idea for a sitcom: a blue collar-type guy married to a woman who is clearly out of his league in looks, intelligence, and class. They have obnoxious relatives. Wanna help me with the pilot?

ETA: Or they could just be dating and both work in the same bar...

alleycat · Nov 8, 2007

How 'bout a show about a morgue lab technician who functions as a detective? Each week they bring in a body and the cops are always sure the victim died of natural causes or committed suicide, but the sharp-eyed lab tech is sure it's murder and tracks down the killer (with help from her on-again/off-again boyfriend who's a cop) . . . all while arguing with her hard-headed boss, dealing with her drug addicted sister, and being a foster mom to two children who's mother died in an unsolved murder that haunts the lab tech.

JoNightshade · Nov 8, 2007

Oh, sign me up! I'll do all the pseudo-Christian family shows where the younger/older daughter/son has some mild crisis, attempts to solve it on his/her own and finally discovers that his/her family was there with loving support all along.

robeiae · Nov 8, 2007

alleycat said:
How 'bout a show about a morgue lab technician who functions as a detective? Each week they bring in a body and the cops are always sure the victim died of natural causes or committed suicide, but the sharp-eyed lab tech is sure it's murder and tracks down the killer (with help from her on-again/off-again boyfriend who's a cop) . . . all while arguing with her hard-headed boss, dealing with her drug addicted sister, and being a foster mom to two children who's mother died in an unsolved murder that haunts the lab tech.

This sounds like a Baywatch spinoff.

CACTUSWENDY · Nov 8, 2007

Ah, I can pass out the popcorn. I know that is not much, but is all I can offer.

childeroland · Nov 8, 2007

alleycat said:
How 'bout a show about a morgue lab technician who functions as a detective? Each week they bring in a body and the cops are always sure the victim died of natural causes or committed suicide, but the sharp-eyed lab tech is sure it's murder and tracks down the killer (with help from her on-again/off-again boyfriend who's a cop) . . . all while arguing with her hard-headed boss, dealing with her drug addicted sister, and being a foster mom to two children who's mother died in an unsolved murder that haunts the lab tech.

Wasn't that pretty much True Calling only with a nicer boss and a troubled brother and without the foster kids?

MattW · Nov 8, 2007

How about some kind of travel disaster strands a motley group on an island and odd things ensue?

One of them will be a heroin addicted rock star, and the other one will be known only as "Skipper."

maxmordon · Nov 8, 2007

Here is my idea for a sitcom:

A former dictator who now exiled in US buys an ice cream parlor in the worst side of Newark and hires a single mom as a waiter who is always visited by his teenage son that wants to have something with the cashier, a narcoleptic nerdy girl who nobody notices she is a Lesbian; meanwhile the ice cream parlor is visited by surreal characters as a drunken salesman that thinks that is a bar and a middle-age woman who is a Wiccan priestess

I call it "Banana Split Republic!"

Will Lavender · Nov 8, 2007

In all seriousness, I would love to write TV -- even though I don't watch much of it. The idea that somebody give me a narrative template and I just...adhere to it? Show me where to sign up.

They cancel Twin Peaks yet?

I ain't no scab, though. Somebody shoot me David Lynch's e-maill addy when this thing is over.

Celia Cyanide · Nov 9, 2007

Bring back Max Headroom!

donroc · Nov 9, 2007

How many apes of varying species are waiting at their keyboards?

Favorite quote said to me by TV studio exec. "Sure you're talented, maybe even a genius, but what we need is someone who can take a piece of trivia and make it meaningful for 26 episodes."

:Hammer:

www.donaldmichaelplatt.com

Shadow_Ferret · Nov 9, 2007

I'll pass. I don't have an active enough imagination to crank out something interesting weekly.

Granted, neither have they, but that's besides the point.

scarletpeaches · Nov 9, 2007

How hard can it be?

donroc · Nov 9, 2007

Who ya' know. I met someone who was earning close to $200,000/year at CBS TV back in the early 80s, and his claim to fame was having written 5 rejected and unaired pilots. Sorry, I could not learn to whom he was related, or a gifted blackmailer, or if he was a supplier of happy dust.

www.donaldmichaelplatt.com

plaidearthworm · Nov 13, 2007

maxmordon said:
Here is my idea for a sitcom:

A former dictator who now exiled in US buys an ice cream parlor in the worst side of Newark and hires a single mom as a waiter who is always visited by his teenage son that wants to have something with the cashier, a narcoleptic nerdy girl who nobody notices she is a Lesbian; meanwhile the ice cream parlor is visited by surreal characters as a drunken salesman that thinks that is a bar and a middle-age woman who is a Wiccan priestess

I call it "Banana Split Republic!"

I love it! Can you spin it off in several different cities, like BSR:Miami, BSR:Austin, and BSR:Cincinnati? That way, it can replace as many reality shows as possible.

maxmordon · Nov 17, 2007

plaidearthworm said:
I love it! Can you spin it off in several different cities, like BSR:Miami, BSR:Austin, and BSR:Cincinnati? That way, it can replace as many reality shows as possible.

Not only that!, But wait there is more!, when the kids become too ugly/old/scandalous to BSR, each one will have their own spinoff!

WerenCole · Nov 19, 2007

Make sure you use a pen name. . . and get a new identity for your scab writing. The WGA will eat your soul otherwise. Even for the bad shows. Especially for the bad shows.

MattW · Nov 20, 2007

WerenCole said:
Make sure you use a pen name. . . and get a new identity for your scab writing. The WGA will eat your soul otherwise. Even for the bad shows. Especially for the bad shows.

So my soul gets eaten by writing for 95% of what's currently on TV?

WerenCole · Dec 3, 2007

Probably.

Scab writers for bad shows?

MattW

Company Man

robeiae

Touch and go

alleycat

Still around

JoNightshade

has finally arrived

robeiae

Touch and go

CACTUSWENDY

An old, sappy, and happy one.

childeroland

What happened to my LIFE?!

MattW

Company Man

maxmordon

Penúltimo

Will Lavender

Everything is what it seems.

Celia Cyanide

Joker Groupie

donroc

Historicals and Horror rule

Shadow_Ferret

Court Jester

scarletpeaches

donroc

Historicals and Horror rule

plaidearthworm

Rock and Squiggle

maxmordon

Penúltimo

WerenCole

Funny what? Do I amuse you?

MattW

Company Man

WerenCole

Funny what? Do I amuse you?