I am still looking for you

This is a poem after a six year search for the bodies of Tina and Bethany Sinclair.
Mother and daughter disappeared one night after a fight with the mother's boyfriend. Recently the boyfriend had been released from prison. He had been convicted for molestation of his daughter. These days he restlessly rides our roads again.
I have participated in searches for the last six years. The family would like to have closure.
We gathered this morning under a rain drenched gray tarp and ate donuts and pizza...waiting for something to unfold, maybe a miracle.



I rose at dawn
from red wrinkled sheets
unfolding my thoughts
from dreams
of cold streams


morning mountain search
heart sick from wondering
how to find
of their bodies


tobacco silky snake
slithered into my nostrils
chatter of eyebrow prices
hair highlighting accent
we waited

mourning mountain search
heart struck from wandering
looking for pieces
of their bodies

pandemonium over the perpetrator
riding his truck
too close to their memorial
an inward scream escapes
psychically thrashing

mourning mama sinks
her teeth into donuts
looking for places
to rest from their deaths

windy day
weeping seeping water
trees scratch the sky
till it’s bloodless
my eyes search the grass
a bit of bone or hair

mountain moving mama
sweet Tina
give us a tell, a hint
six years and still looking

I am raw from wondering
about our killer
he's growing bored
as I write

we want him caught
someone please stop him
he will kill again
he's growing bored
as I write

I was riding my bike past the house and it felt like my head had gone through jello and the images of this mystery unfolded. I was stopped in mid-peddle. I saw that I would be immersed in the investigation of a death.

Mind you that that psychic impression was prior to the murders. I shiver when I ponder that. Could I have warned them? I didn't ever know them. I have been searching for their remains since 2001 and in an odd way even before they died. Maybe the killer was broadcasting his intentions and that's why I picked it up. sometimes late at night, when my defenses are down, I get real scared. The guy who did this is completely amoral. He almost seems to enjoy causing pain. ((((shiver))))

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HYMKGom8pAo

check it out. His face is in this. you tell me what you think.