Using Short Sentences

Storyteller5 · Oct 25, 2007

Do you use short sentences?

I got the comments back from my second beta reader on my novel. So often, she made comments about combining sentences and changes which I thought made it more wordy. Yes, I'm aware that I don't have to take one beta reader's comments as gospel or accept all of them. I asked her if she has a problem with short sentences; she said she thinks short sentences are talking down to the reader and she didn't like that in Harry Potter either.

I think it's about what you say, not how often you use a short sentence, especially if you use a mix of long and short. Thoughts?

TheIT · Oct 25, 2007

I try for a variety of sentence lengths and styles. If all sentences are constructed the same way, eventually it feels repetitive.

a_sharp · Oct 25, 2007

There's a cadence to writing that should be respected. Short, choppy sentences strung together can make an effective claim to fast action or speech, but too much is jarring. The other extreme is equally off-putting, so I would think that if you question your beta's remarks, find another beta and without prompting see if a similar comment shows up.

Soccer Mom · Oct 25, 2007

I use short sentences. I like them. A lot.

But it depends on what I'm writing, the tone I'm looking for. A little variance is nice.

maestrowork · Oct 25, 2007

I use various sentence lengths and structures for pace, rhythm and cadence. Some writers I know only write in complete sentences with similar lengths -- why?

Read it out loud and note the way your prose sounds: pace, rhythm, cadence. Like music, variations make your prose interesting.

melaniehoo · Oct 25, 2007

I think everyone here has covered all the bases. I go both ways - long-winded and super short. I use whatever's appropriate for the scene.

RickN · Oct 25, 2007

I feel that short sentences are the best way to get your point across and, as such, I tend use them exclusively in my work, to the point where many of my reviews have commented on the lack of long, involved sentences that really let them dig their teeth into my narrative, charactization, and other portions of a manuscript that let the reader fully enjoy the work and provide them with a good feeling about the time spent on the novel.

Or not.

althrasher · Oct 25, 2007

For the most part, I like short sentences better. But that's just me.

Jamesaritchie · Oct 25, 2007

Short

Short and long. There must be a rhythm, a cadence to sentences, and one of the things I see wrong with most manuscripts from new writers is a lack of good rhythm and cadence. Too many short sentences comes across as choppy writing, and choppy writing can make anyone stop reading quickly.

Combining sentences usually is a good thing for new writers.

Bufty · Oct 25, 2007

My answer to the original question?

Yes.

I use whichever length is necessary to achieve the desired effect. I use short, long, and medium sentences. And to say any sentence talks down to people simply because of its length or lack of it is a sweeping and silly statement.

Provrb1810meggy · Oct 25, 2007

I also think voice has something to do with it, too. My first person WIP, where the MC is eleven, has a lot of short, choppy sentences and fragments, mixed in with some rambling sentences and medium sentences, because that's the way she talks.

Bo Sullivan · Oct 25, 2007

When I read a book I like things explained to me with long sentences, which is why I enjoy Charles Dickens' work so much.

When I write I too use long sentences, and it has been pointed out to me that they are too long, even though I intersperse them with semi colons where needed. I am trying very hard to use some shorter sentences as well and it is working well in my new manuscript.

So I would agree with a mixture of short and long sentences in books, which stands to reason, depending on the context and meaning.

rwam · Oct 25, 2007

One thing to remember here is it's an issue of style and your beta reader may have a different style than you. If another beta reader points it out, then maybe start to worry.

BTW, www.autocrit.com has a handy little application that you can feed in a block of text - like 500 or 1000 (or something) words - and it'll analyze your mix of sentence lengths, along with words you're overusing.

Storyteller5 · Oct 25, 2007

My other beta didn't comment on my sentence length. I tend to use a mix of long and short and personally don't see a problem. I will try reading some of it outloud though to make sure it has flow.

WittyandorIronic · Oct 25, 2007

Everyone has covered the important points, but I just wanted to mention that I really only pay attention and direct my sentence length when I am trying to consciously direct the pace (which isn't always the case, lol). If I want it to be a calm scene, then I lengthen, if I want to denote action and intensity, then short.
Maybe your pace is inconsistent with your scenes, and your beta didn't know how to express that. Or maybe she's nuts.

dantem42 · Oct 25, 2007

Personal taste perhaps, but I find that if a sentence runs more than about forty words, I often have to do too much backtracking to piece together how the author is relating various clauses. Normally a sentence that long or longer can effectively be parsed into two or more sentences without messing up rhythm or cadence.

sanssouci · Oct 25, 2007

Hemingway is the master of the short sentence. When he was starting out as a writer, the newspaper he worked for advocated short sentences and short paragraphs. Hemingway said that those were some of the best rules he'd ever learned for the business of writing.

JohnDavidPaxton · Oct 25, 2007

I do.

ORION · Oct 25, 2007

I use what I need to use. I love one word sentences. Really.

maestrowork · Oct 26, 2007

Ditto.

David I · Oct 26, 2007

sanssouci said:
Hemingway is the master of the short sentence. When he was starting out as a writer, the newspaper he worked for advocated short sentences and short paragraphs. Hemingway said that those were some of the best rules he'd ever learned for the business of writing.

Well, yes, but he varied his sentence length quite a lot more than the myth of Hemingway asserts. For example:

In the bed of the river there were pebbles and boulders, dry and white in the sun, and the water was clear and swiftly moving and blue in the channels.

(from A Farewell to Arms, 30 words) or even:

“And a good one,” said the picador and walked out of the dining room, gray-jacketed, trim-waisted, bow-legged, in tight breeches over high-heeled cattlemen’s boots that clicked on the floor as he swaggered quite steadily, smiling to himself.

(from The Capital of the World, 37 words). Also note the number of adjectives and adverbs, which he supposedly "never used."

If you care about such matters, I have a post entitled Hemingway Myths over on my blog.

Everything you need to know about sentence length and style is in Goldilocks and the Three Bears. In any circumstance, pick the one that is just right.

sneakers145 · Oct 26, 2007

Variable length. Short when needed. Long when needed. And everything in between.

If a book has all short sentences, it's a problem. OTOH if they're all long and compound, that's a problem too. It does depend on the story, though.

ErylRavenwell · Oct 26, 2007

Hemmingway's style or prolix style of writing is like Second-empire or Queen-Anne house style. It comes down taste or style.

a_sharp · Oct 27, 2007

Editing my earlier post.

a_sharp said:
There's a cadence to writing that should be respected. Short, choppy sentences strung together can make an effective claim to fast action or speech, but too much is jarring. The other extreme is equally off-putting, so I would think that if you question your beta's remarks, find another beta and without prompting see if a similar comment shows up.

There's a cadence to writing. Should be respected. Short, choppy sentences strung together can be effective. Like for fast action. Or fast speech. Too much is jarring. Like this.

The other extreme is equally off-putting, so I would think that if you question your beta's remarks, find another beta and without prompting see if a similar comment shows up and then make your decision based on careful attention to remarks made in previous posts here on the forum...my fingers ran out of breath and my readers ran away.

oswann · Oct 27, 2007

American Tabloid by James Ellroy was like being hit with a left jab 100 000 times. There is a limit to short sentences.

Os.

Using Short Sentences

Storyteller5

Say something...

TheIT

Infuriatingly Theoretical

a_sharp

Somebody give me an A

Soccer Mom

Crypto-fascist

maestrowork

Fear the Death Ray

melaniehoo

And thus we begin the edits

RickN

althrasher

Prodigal Muser

Jamesaritchie

Bufty

Where have the last ten years gone?

Provrb1810meggy

Bo Sullivan

rwam

Storyteller5

Say something...

WittyandorIronic

dantem42

sanssouci

JohnDavidPaxton

ORION

Sailed away years ago

maestrowork

Fear the Death Ray

David I

sneakers145

ErylRavenwell

a_sharp

Somebody give me an A

oswann

Grumpy