JoNightshade
10-12-2007, 02:22 AM
I'm now submitting queries for my 117K-word mainstream/contemporary novel. I've been through a few beta readers, revised a lot, written my synopsis...
But I still feel like I need another perspective on this. I like my query but I feel like I might not be aiming the thing right just because I'm so close to my work I can't see the forest for the trees. Basically I want to know if my synopsis and my query are accurately representative of my book.
I'd appreciate anyone who'd just like to read my novel for fun and tell me:
1) What you see as the major themes.
2) How you would describe my story (fast paced, character driven, whatever).
3) Give me a brief summary of the plot.
If you're interested, here's my synopsis (er, don't read to the end if you don't like spoilers):
Former government assassin Roger Kuznetsov has spent the last seven years trapped in a wheelchair, waiting to die. Connor, his first adoptive son, denounced him and disappeared. Timothy, the second, abandoned the “family business” for a career in medicine. Roger’s only companion is Owen, his faithful steward.
Isolated and in chronic pain, Roger believes his growing suspicion of being watched is no more significant than his violent nightmares. Owen, only marginally stable at the best of times, begins to cut himself and appears with unexplained bruises. Roger retreats, knowing his foul temper will only push Owen further over the edge.
His life—or lack thereof—is interrupted when his sons return, each under different circumstances. Timothy has come home desperately seeking Roger’s approval, while Connor, who once swore to kill Roger, is now embroiled in a dangerous plan to kill the mob don who put Roger in a wheelchair. Into this volatile mix comes Ellie, a socially awkward young woman who seems to enjoy Roger’s presence in spite of his gruff manner.
Roger is miles out of his comfort zone. He doesn’t know how to handle Timothy’s need for an emotional connection, and he worries that Connor’s mental instability will bring the mob to his door. Most of all, he fears his friendship has put Ellie in danger.
His concerns are realized when Connor’s actions lead to his discovery by the mob don. Roger and his makeshift family fight their way free of the ambush and then split up. Reluctantly, Roger hides with Ellie.
When Connor contacts him, it is not with good news. Timothy has gone in pursuit of the mob don, and Owen is missing. Roger immediately resumes control. He uses Connor to reconnoiter, and then instructs him to flush the men out of his house with explosives. Owen is found safe, and the plan seems to be a success—until Connor checks the bodies. He finds Timothy, burnt and nearly dead.
Paying for his own sins is one thing; it is quite another to see them visited upon his son. Roger sinks into depression and self-loathing as he watches Timothy’s slow, agonizing recovery. He lashes out at Ellie for continuing to love him.
Then Owen, his servant, is diagnosed with a deadly brain tumor. Roger is not simply crushed; he is broken by this revelation. He has spent his life protecting those around him, but this tragedy is completely beyond his control.
On his way to surgery, Owen begs Roger to seize the happiness he has been offered. Roger cannot refuse. But to do that, Roger knows he must forgive himself first—whether he deserves it or not. He makes peace with Connor, confesses his love to Ellie, and, for the first time, he calls Timothy “son.”
But I still feel like I need another perspective on this. I like my query but I feel like I might not be aiming the thing right just because I'm so close to my work I can't see the forest for the trees. Basically I want to know if my synopsis and my query are accurately representative of my book.
I'd appreciate anyone who'd just like to read my novel for fun and tell me:
1) What you see as the major themes.
2) How you would describe my story (fast paced, character driven, whatever).
3) Give me a brief summary of the plot.
If you're interested, here's my synopsis (er, don't read to the end if you don't like spoilers):
Former government assassin Roger Kuznetsov has spent the last seven years trapped in a wheelchair, waiting to die. Connor, his first adoptive son, denounced him and disappeared. Timothy, the second, abandoned the “family business” for a career in medicine. Roger’s only companion is Owen, his faithful steward.
Isolated and in chronic pain, Roger believes his growing suspicion of being watched is no more significant than his violent nightmares. Owen, only marginally stable at the best of times, begins to cut himself and appears with unexplained bruises. Roger retreats, knowing his foul temper will only push Owen further over the edge.
His life—or lack thereof—is interrupted when his sons return, each under different circumstances. Timothy has come home desperately seeking Roger’s approval, while Connor, who once swore to kill Roger, is now embroiled in a dangerous plan to kill the mob don who put Roger in a wheelchair. Into this volatile mix comes Ellie, a socially awkward young woman who seems to enjoy Roger’s presence in spite of his gruff manner.
Roger is miles out of his comfort zone. He doesn’t know how to handle Timothy’s need for an emotional connection, and he worries that Connor’s mental instability will bring the mob to his door. Most of all, he fears his friendship has put Ellie in danger.
His concerns are realized when Connor’s actions lead to his discovery by the mob don. Roger and his makeshift family fight their way free of the ambush and then split up. Reluctantly, Roger hides with Ellie.
When Connor contacts him, it is not with good news. Timothy has gone in pursuit of the mob don, and Owen is missing. Roger immediately resumes control. He uses Connor to reconnoiter, and then instructs him to flush the men out of his house with explosives. Owen is found safe, and the plan seems to be a success—until Connor checks the bodies. He finds Timothy, burnt and nearly dead.
Paying for his own sins is one thing; it is quite another to see them visited upon his son. Roger sinks into depression and self-loathing as he watches Timothy’s slow, agonizing recovery. He lashes out at Ellie for continuing to love him.
Then Owen, his servant, is diagnosed with a deadly brain tumor. Roger is not simply crushed; he is broken by this revelation. He has spent his life protecting those around him, but this tragedy is completely beyond his control.
On his way to surgery, Owen begs Roger to seize the happiness he has been offered. Roger cannot refuse. But to do that, Roger knows he must forgive himself first—whether he deserves it or not. He makes peace with Connor, confesses his love to Ellie, and, for the first time, he calls Timothy “son.”