Damaged characters and abuse

WittyandorIronic · Oct 10, 2007

First, I apologize if this has already been covered. I checked the last few months, and nothing jumped out at me. If it has, point me in the direction of the thread and I will let this one die.

Second, I kind of sugar coated the title, but I didn't want to shock or offend.

Third....(I eventually have a point) is my question.

What are everyones thoughts on rape, sexual abuse, and sexual attacks, most specifically in a novel that will later have love scenes.

To be specific, in my WIP the MC was attacked, nearly raped, and a large part of the book is about her and her paramour overcoming the lingering mental issues. I felt I could be a little more graphic in my attack scene, as they are interrupted before the attack can progress beyond mild violence and some torn clothing, but then I ran into a problem. During a mild love scene there is a parallel to her attack, she has a flashback, and then yada,yada,yada...doesn't want to be intimate.

But...after I reread it I realized that I was amping the passion up, and then quite suddenly turning it to terror and pain. That's great for making a reader empathize with the MC, but won't that alienate others? I'm not trying to debate my entire premise and plot, just wondering...is it too much to expect a reader feel the passion, the pain, the passion, the pain...and not want to strangle me? Will they feel engrossed, or will so sudden a twist plop them right out of the story?
Yes, I know, if it's well written then just about anything can be accomplished.

I would just like some feedback on how YOU might feel, as a reader. Do you think you could stomach the ride? Or would you immediately feel put out, and therefore put the book down?

I appreciate any advice.

choppersmom · Oct 11, 2007

Hi Witty - I would not feel put out by the situation you describe. I think it's integral to her healing to get through moments like this - part of the ride. As long as they eventually do wind up together and happy, it wouldn't make me put the book down.

I have a similar type of story in one of my mss. My female MC was abused by her stepfather all during her childhood, and her mom was no help, to say the least. She has this to overcome when she meets her hero, plus other obstacles that she has to break through at the same time. She doesn't have it easy!

But that's what fiction is all about. If you took out the scenes where she is overcoming obstacles like this one, it wouldn't be as good as it would be if you let her work through it. JMO!!

Cathy C · Oct 11, 2007

Yeah, I think it can be done well. The trick is making the hero realistic. He has to come off as both sensitive to her panic and angry at whoever caused her pain. That's a tough thing to accomplish in one scene. But if you can do it, I think it will resonate well with readers.

Sassee · Oct 11, 2007

I wouldn't have a problem with it, and would definitely sympathize with the protag. Just make sure you aren't overdoing it (like, don't have this happen 10+ times... that will begin to annoy the reader).

dolores haze · Oct 11, 2007

I wouldn't put a book down because of a scene like this. (Wearing reader hat)

It would be a perfect example of a sex scene that moves the plot forward. (Wearing writer hat)

jodiodi · Oct 11, 2007

Your premise appears sound.

I've written a book where the heroine volunteered to go with a child being kidnapped in order to protect it and the villain uses the baby's safety (or lack thereof) to force her to submit to him. He rapes her. Once she's back with her husband, she's withdrawn, he's at a loss of what to do, she attempts suicide, and eventually they make progress. When they finally have sex again, I wrote how he has to restrain himself because he wants to just hold her and love her and wash away everything, but knows he must let her take the lead and only go as far as she's comfortable.

Good luck with your project.

WittyandorIronic · Oct 11, 2007

thanks for the responses everyone! I bounce around reading through all genres, and often I turn to romance for something lighter and fun, which is why I worried...I sometimes forget that readers are smart (myself included, lol) and that if they pick up a book that included abuse, they would probably expect a few frightening scenes.

Cathy C said:
Yeah, I think it can be done well. The trick is making the hero realistic. He has to come off as both sensitive to her panic and angry at whoever caused her pain.

I agree...and I also feel that he needs to be unsure of his own strength in the matter. Is he man enough to deal with her baggage? If not, does he like what that says about himself? He has a tough road too.

Sassee said:
Just make sure you aren't overdoing it (like, don't have this happen 10+ times... that will begin to annoy the reader).

Lol.. I hope once will be enough. An integral theme is her sometimes inability to get lost in (scary and disturbing) memories, but even then I have tried to keep any flashbacks or hysterics to a minimum. They can drag the story down fast.

choppersmom said:
As long as they eventually do wind up together and happy, it wouldn't make me put the book down.

It wouldn't be my kind of romance without it! but there is definite resolution...maybe I should emphasize that more though, so that the reader feels a bit more rewarded for their troubles. good thought..

dolores haze said:
It would be a perfect example of a sex scene that moves the plot forward. (Wearing writer hat)

I don't believe in gratuitous sex...as in...all sex is fantastic. lol. j/k.

Elodie-Caroline · Oct 11, 2007

I have a story very similar to Choppersmom... I think, that so long as you can show your character overcome her obstacles and be a stronger person within herself, that the readers will feel satisfied with the story. They won't put it down during that scene, because they will want to see her come through the other side.

Elodie

Gillhoughly · Oct 11, 2007

I'm more Draconian.

My heroine killed the s.o.b. -- killed him ugly -- taking back the control he stole from her.

THAT helped a lot in her recovery.

I watched a lot of Xena.

DonnaDuck · Oct 11, 2007

Hi again Wtty! It's something I would definately read and considering I'm a complete sadist when it comes to writing my characters I would want to torment the protag to the nth degree and then drag her back out ofit, if at all. Personally I'm not one for happy endings. No one like a sad or flunked up ending but I think realism is key in anything. Nothing ends in butterflies farts. Regardless of how much she moves beyond that incident, it will never leave her. She will never forget and she will continue to flash back to it, however infrequently, as the most inopportune times. Even when all is well and good, a certain smell might trigger something, her own action, whathaveyou. Keep it real and you won't lose anyone.

Gillhoughly · Oct 11, 2007

One thing I did in a book where the MC had a terrible, life-changing trauma that thoroughly screwed things up:

I had another character remind the MC that the trauma lasted about half an hour--if that long. And while it was truly horrific, the MC had the choice of allowing that one half hour to screw up the rest of the MC's life or to move past it.

The MC finally listened and though changed, chose to make it for the better, turning horror into triumph. The MC had to go through a period of recovery, grief and mourning for what was lost was involved, but came out stronger and better.

What blew me away was when an old friend--who I knew had been raped some years ago--came over and told me how much that had helped her to put things into perspective about her own experience. She said her horror was thankfully brief, but since reading my book she realized how much power she'd given to that one event--and now it was going to stop. Her decision made, it felt like a huge weight had slipped off her head.

I felt humbled and blubbed about it later.

THAT'S the power of our words.

Manat · Oct 13, 2007

Even if you do it well, some people won't want to read it. Some folks pick up a romance to forget about the trouble and the darker side of life and they won't want to keep on reading. Others might find it just too close to home and some people are just more sensitive than others. That's not a reason not to write it though. My mc is a male who was sold into prostitution as a a child. He has no sense of his own self worth at the beginning and sees himself as a sexual object and not much else. The heroine helps him learn to accept himself and their sexual encounters are sometimes difficut, and always an important part of that journey. I had rave reviews from some people who loved it, and others told me it was too dark, too grim, and from an agent at writer's house, too jarring(ouch).

The point is I did find an agent and a publisher, though it's not in the stores for a while so I don't know how it will do with the public at large.You can write darker fare and be honest and realistic about it but not everyone will like it. I think that's true about any book that steps outside standard conventions, and when you're dealing with the topic of sexual trauma even more so. Some people will love it for dealing with complex issues and deep emotions and some will hate it, because you opened a door to something dark when they were expecting something light. I'm the type who would be more likely to read and remember it.You might want to check out Laura Kinsale if you haven't already. She does this very well. Write the book you want to write and good luck with it!

DonnaDuck · Oct 13, 2007

And with that, though, you can't please everyone so your only choice is to just write it and see where it takes you.

WittyandorIronic · Oct 13, 2007

thx Manat and Donna, and all the others that posted.
I think I was originally just a little surprised at myself, for how dark it was and how it kept reappearing in places I hadn't planned on. (dang writing..does what it wants!) I'm not worried about pleasing everybody, just not turning everyone off the book as well.
It is an interrupted rape, never consummated, but as it is set in the Regency era I am enjoying the challenge of societies considerations and writing the healing process for her, and for her male MC.

Elodie-Caroline · Oct 13, 2007

When my beta-readers read over my novel, I got two separate comments about the dark things included in it... One lady said that the scene, where the baddie gets what he deserves. was so intense, that it took her out of the love story for a little while. She also said she would have gladly paid to read it. And another lady commended me on how my heroine dealt with the abuse she had endured as a child.

I wrote the story to show that there is always hope in this life and that people can learn to trust others once more. We deal with the bad to show that you can overcome anything if you have someone to love and trust beside you.

Elodie

ZannaPerry · Oct 13, 2007

I read a book not that long ago where the MC was raped by her ex-husband when she tried to leave him. That happened a long time ago from the present, but the author of that book told the reader that the MC was raped, and how she was struggling to trust men, how she never really had any other experiences in the bedroom except from what her ex showed her. More like put on her. So, she was still technically a "virgin." Yet, when she meets the hero, she tells him this out of insecurity, and he looks at it, yeah, that sucks, but life goes on, and he learns that she never really experience and he takes it for granted to show her just how much sex can be wonderful, and worth-while. Of course, he doesn't encourage her to be with him, he just lets her take her time, slow, until she was ready.

I don't know if that is really what you want to hear, but maybe you can have the hero understand but take it as a learning-experience. He wants to be able to give her everything she doesn't know about sexually. But on her time, of course. You could have the MC try to turn him down, and the hero understands but do something as she turns him down, but not really fighting him off.

My two cents....

I am also having trouble with this myself. One of my characters in my current WIP was raped by her father-in-law. As the years pass without her telling anyone about it, she starts to cut off everyone around her. She's more like a hermit than anything else, and when she dies "by suicide" the entire town looks at anyone who might have caused her to end her life.

Cathy C · Oct 13, 2007

While not "per se" a romance, one series where it was done really well was the Children of Earth series by Jean Auel. In Clan of the Cave Bear, Ayla was repeatedly raped by the son of the chief. She winds up pregnant and bears a deformed son. In the second book, Valley of Horses, she meets the hero, Jondular and he spends a great deal of time making her "first time" memorable. It was really a very touching scene.

Gillhoughly · Oct 13, 2007

Jondular and he spends a great deal of time making her "first time" memorable. It was really a very touching scene.

We must have read different books!

I recall that bit of writing as being the first time a nookie-fest ever put me to sleep. Her pages and pages of Tab A into Slot B turned me off like a Tom Clancy data dump.

Later that week I read a single line in a Dick Francis novel that melted me down to my toes, and next thing you know I was jumping my (then) spouse's bones like there was no tomorrow.

As for the girl getting raped in a setting where it's not even considered a crime, I kept thinking, "What IS it with this wussy heroine? The bad guy keeps raping her and she can make it stop. She's the clan's herbalist, after all. How hard can it be to slip him a henbane salad?"

The wimp.

This was pre-Xena for me, BTW. I was bloody minded even back then.

Blame Raymond Chandler and Dashiell Hammett.

And these guys: :e2stooges

WittyandorIronic · Oct 13, 2007

Sweet reference Cathy C, and I am sorry Gill, but we are no longer friends.

Auel's series is one of my all time favorites, and I reread the entire thing once every 2 years or so.
I have no clue why, but I totally never made that connection. A little too deep into my WIP I guess. I might have to reread, with a writer's eye rather than a readers.
I will admit after awhile some of her scenes can feel....extended. lol. But I was probably 13 when i first picked them up and as a hormonally charged teenager I thought they were great primers, lol.
I actually disliked her love scenes with Ranec in the Mammoth Hunters. They bothered me because I was so VERY in love with Jondalar, that I could not understand what her problem was. I will admit that I much preferred her Valley of Horses and the Plains of Passage to the Clan or Mammoth. And....I won't even talk about Shelter of Stone.
Anyways. Gil sucks. No cookies for you.

Marian Perera · Oct 13, 2007

Gillhoughly said:
As for the girl getting raped in a setting where it's not even considered a crime, I kept thinking, "What IS it with this wussy heroine? The bad guy keeps raping her and she can make it stop. She's the clan's herbalist, after all. How hard can it be to slip him a henbane salad?"

I love that idea! After I read the books, I wondered if all the rapes had left Ayla with a super-long and super-flexible "passage" able to accomodate Jondalar, since we're told that not every woman could take his entire length.

WittyandorIronic · Oct 13, 2007

/sniffle. that's it. I'm taking my cookies and going home!

Marian Perera · Oct 13, 2007

Just don't ever read the reviews of the Earth's Children series on my website.

I mean it.

Gillhoughly · Oct 13, 2007

we're told that not every woman could take his entire length.

That's the kind of stuff that caused me to consider if the writer was still a virgin.

When Auel became a hot seller in the 80's I was just starting to get seriously serious about my own writing, so I was reading everything to study what others were doing and why. After reading her books it finally dawned on me that "best-seller" does not always mean "well-written."

Da Vinci Code is a fairly current example of a poorly-written book that somehow got popular. I reckon Dan Brown sold his soul to Old Nick to make that happen. It's the only logical explanation!

What's interesting to me are lists like the following that show what the best-seller was for any given year and if we still read them today.

http://home.comcast.net/~netaylor1/bestsellersfiction.html

But--I've gone off the topic thread with this. It's what I do.

Mea culpa!

P.S. Queen of Swords -- I am seriously jealous that you're in Toronto. I love that city! It's been too long since my last visit.

Oh. Damn. Off topic AGAIN.

Damaged characters and abuse

WittyandorIronic

choppersmom

---

Cathy C

Ooo! Shiny new cover!

Sassee

Momma Wolf

dolores haze

international guttersnipe

jodiodi

Reflections of Reality

WittyandorIronic

Elodie-Caroline

Gillhoughly

Grumpy writer and editor

DonnaDuck

My Worlds Are Building

Gillhoughly

Grumpy writer and editor

Manat

DonnaDuck

My Worlds Are Building

WittyandorIronic

Elodie-Caroline

ZannaPerry

^ Just Me & a Sharpie

Cathy C

Ooo! Shiny new cover!

Gillhoughly

Grumpy writer and editor

WittyandorIronic

Marian Perera

starting over

WittyandorIronic

Marian Perera

starting over

Gillhoughly

Grumpy writer and editor