Dialogue

ACEnders · Oct 2, 2007

For me, formatting dialogue is tricky. Take this example (assume that there is some back and forth without an action):

"I'm not ready." Tristan rolled his eyes.
"Why not?"

Even reading that, even if you had background, the way it's set up you can't tell if it's Tristan talking, or the second person, right? So do you do it this way:

"I'm not ready."
Tristan rolled his eyes, then asked, "Why not?"

or this way:

"I'm not ready."
Tristan rolled his eyes.
"Why not?"

Do you need to start a new paragraph for the dialogue if the action preceding it is from the person speaking?

Does this question make sense?

Help!

Esopha · Oct 2, 2007

"I'm not ready."
Tristan rolled his eyes. "Why not?"

That's how I do it. But I'm probably wrong.

reenkam · Oct 2, 2007

Esopha said:
"I'm not ready."
Tristan rolled his eyes. "Why not?"

That's how I do it. But I'm probably wrong.

I do this, too, and I'm fairly sure this is how it is in published books, but I could be wrong.

Azraelsbane · Oct 2, 2007

Esopha said:
"I'm not ready."
Tristan rolled his eyes. "Why not?"

That's how I do it. But I'm probably wrong.

That's the way to do it.

maestrowork · Oct 2, 2007

Esopha said:
"I'm not ready."
Tristan rolled his eyes. "Why not?"

That's how I do it. But I'm probably wrong.

This is correct. With the second action, you don't need a tag and we know it's Tristan speaking.

Generally speaking, if you have only two people going back and forth, you don't need tags at all, and the action would go with the one who speaks. In cases where splitting off the action makes more sense (say, a long paragraph of observation/action), then you can add a tag in the following dialogue to clarify who is talking:

"I'm not ready."
Tristan rolled his eyes. He hadn't eaten for a long time and he was ready to go, but Isabelle was taking an awfully long time. They were on deadlines. Tristan also hated when Isabelle became contentious whenever he told her to hurry up; she had a short temper, not to mention an insane array of cosmetics. This time, Tristan wasn't going to just tolerate it without a fight.
"Why not?" Tristan said.

FennelGiraffe · Oct 2, 2007

ACEnders said:
"I'm not ready." Tristan rolled his eyes.
"Why not?"

Even reading that, even if you had background, the way it's set up you can't tell if it's Tristan talking, or the second person, right?

Just to clarify, breaking the paragraphs this way this way is not ambiguous -- it definitely indicates that it's Tristan who says "I'm not ready" and someone else who says "Why not?"

I suspect, however, that isn't what you intend. (Although I can imagine scenarios that would make the eye-rolling work with it being that way around.)

If it's the other char saying "I'm not ready" and Tristan saying "Why not?", then you need to do as other posters have indicated:

Esopha said:
"I'm not ready."
Tristan rolled his eyes. "Why not?"

Dialogue

ACEnders

Self-Banned

Esopha

bam pow zap.

reenkam

aka cupcake

Azraelsbane

Agony is defeat

maestrowork

Fear the Death Ray

FennelGiraffe

It's green they say