Dairy of a madman.

Status
Not open for further replies.

SpookyWriter

Banned
Joined
Nov 14, 2005
Messages
9,697
Reaction score
3,458
Location
Dublin
I was wondering if anyone would consider reading the story of a mad dairy farmer? I had thought about putting together an outline for this story about Emmit who had issues with strangers who kept coming onto his farm to buy fresh milk. And other things...

See Emmit didn't sell fresh milk and had a sign at the front of his farm that said "We don't sell fresh milk".

But people kept coming by asking to buy fresh milk. At first Emmit didn't mind so much. He would explain that his farm sold to producers. But people didn't understand what he meant by "producers" and just thought he was being silly.

As the years went by Emmit began to lose his cows to issues. He still tried to keep up the farm even though the "producers" required more milk than he could produce.

And people kept bothering him for fresh milk.

His wife left him for a pig farmer. The kids moved to the city and stopped coming by to help with the farm. His crop of corn was eaten by crows. The country music station changed to rock.

Life wasn't going so good for Emmit.

So one day, Emmit snapped. He had enough and shot some poor fool who was stupid enough to as "Do you have any fresh milk?"

Now this story goes on a bit about Emmit hiding the bodies and such. But my question is "Can the dairy of a madman" be considered a memoir?
 

Felicia Beasley

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Aug 9, 2007
Messages
70
Reaction score
17
Location
Brooklyn Park MN
Sounds like a cool idea but I'm pretty sure a memoir is based on the author's personal experience...

so even if you have bodies hidden somewhere, you probably still don't want to draw attention to it by calling this a memoir :D
 

Tracy

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Feb 9, 2006
Messages
348
Reaction score
107
Location
Ireland
That sounds brilliant! I'd buy it. Maybe you could subtitle it: A Million Little Faeces.
 
Last edited:

PeeDee

Where's my tea, please...?
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Aug 16, 2005
Messages
11,724
Reaction score
2,085
Website
peterdamien.com
I figured it was just a Spooky-gag, but...actually...it's cool. I would read it. Like a deeply macabre Terry Pratchett sort of thing. Write it, son! Write it!
 

PeeDee

Where's my tea, please...?
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Aug 16, 2005
Messages
11,724
Reaction score
2,085
Website
peterdamien.com
I dunno. I have a novel on my shelf called The Memoirs of Many In One by Patrick White. Then there's Memoirs of A Geisha.

So long as you don't go asshole-ish like James Frey and you own up that it's a novel, you'll be fine.
 

MidnightMuse

Midnight Reading
Kind Benefactor
Super Member
Registered
Joined
May 23, 2006
Messages
8,424
Reaction score
2,555
Location
In the toidy.
Do it, just don't let Oprah interview you and you'll be solid.
 

Cranky

Kind Benefactor
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Aug 26, 2007
Messages
14,945
Reaction score
8,145
I think it sounds pretty cool, too. I'd read it.
 

Tasmin21

They will come from below...
Super Member
Registered
Joined
May 16, 2007
Messages
4,558
Reaction score
3,859
Location
Elysia
I came to the thread, expecting a typo, and instead find a story I'd actually read!

Get cracking!
 

SpookyWriter

Banned
Joined
Nov 14, 2005
Messages
9,697
Reaction score
3,458
Location
Dublin
I got out my spiral notebook and am busy writing out the outline. This will be my next to next project or a filler between wips. Thanks! Hope everyone has a great weekend.
 

SpookyWriter

Banned
Joined
Nov 14, 2005
Messages
9,697
Reaction score
3,458
Location
Dublin
All farmers have daughters. I can tell you that her situation is quite different from most farm girls.
 

Soccer Mom

Crypto-fascist
Kind Benefactor
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jul 5, 2006
Messages
18,604
Reaction score
8,039
Location
Under your couch
A mooving tail of love and loss and farmer's daughters. It made me laugh. It made me cry. It made me want cereal.
 

SpookyWriter

Banned
Joined
Nov 14, 2005
Messages
9,697
Reaction score
3,458
Location
Dublin
July 28th, 1999.

Uncle Mike came by today and check on the kids. He promised to help clean the horse stalls and do a few choirs for me. I wasn't feeling so good lately since the wife ran off. But I hadn't expected him to show up at mid-day though, and so my choirs were running a couple hours behind.

I set the fly buckets out last night and by morning they were completely full. I was hoping Uncle Mike would help me haul them away.

I don't think he's ever see a bucket of dead flies before. I know my first time made me sick. I was surprised he didn't throw up. I did.

I couldn't help but laugh at his expression when he saw what was in the buckets. He made me laugh for the first time in months. I was glad he came by to keep me and the kids company.

I was lonely. And begining to get mad all the time for no good reason.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.