Within What?

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mkcbunny

mkcbunny

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Is it proper to say the following:

Within moments, the cat came back.

That's a made-up sentence. I'm wondering about the use of the word "moments." One could say, "Within seconds," or "minutes," but something feels wrong about using the word "moments" this way. Maybe because it is not a set amount of time. This is a completely hypothetical situation. I've already cut it, but it's bugging me.

Thoughts?
 
maestrowork

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It does sound odd to me. I'd probably do "The cat came back moments later" or "moments later, the cat came back."
 
benbradley

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I dunno, seems too wordy... how about:

Within moments, the cat returned.

That says the same thing and it's over a 16 percent reduction in word count! Or, with a nod to "Mr. 23,252 Posts:"

The cat returned within moments.

But really, I don't see a problem with 'moments' not being a set amount of time - 'within minutes' or 'within seconds' doesn't give a set amount of time either.

One problem with your original sentence is it reminds me too much of this children's song which in the songbook "Rise Up Singing" and in this page, the last verse describes nuclear war (and it's supposed to be an amusing children's song...).

Hoping I haven't distracted you from your WIP...
 
mkcbunny

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The original sentence didn't have anything to do with cats, or returning. "Returned" is definitely a better, shorter choice, but it isn't really what I was asking about. Guess I should have made the shortest sentence possible! I didn't post the original simply because it's longer and structured to lead into the sentence after. I didn't want to get into a whole discussion about the rest of it.

Ray, thanks. I think I may have overused that option [e.g. "minutes later, seconds later, etc]. I've found a few too many time references, so I'm trying to weed some of them out. That's how I got hung up on the "moments" bit.
 
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mkcbunny

mkcbunny

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maestrowork said:
How about "the cat came back shortly"?

The cat came back shortly after I opened the can... ;)
Click to expand...

That could work somewhere. Thanks. The offending sentence in question has been rewritten entirely.

How is it that cats who have never eaten canned cat food still come running at the sound of a can opener? Must be hard-wired into their kitty brains.
 

Lance_in_Shanghai

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I always considered that one instance of a short time is "a moment" and separate instances are two or more moments. If you can't count the separate moments, it must be one moment. "Within a moment, the bandicoot returned to the scene of the crime." "I have had a few senior moments."
 
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