Oh, Not Good

NiennaC · Sep 9, 2007

So I had my dad read my current WIP a couple of months ago. He loved the prologue. Said great things about it. But then he said that it overshadowed the rest of the book for him, because he was more interested in the prologue characters than the story's characters -

For reference: The prologue is a single scene that takes place fourty-five years before the actual story, and seeing that scene, knowing what happens all those years ago, is integral to understanding the rest of the story.

I'm not sure what to do now.

He did say that his lack of interest in the rest of the MS might have been because it's YA, and the MS's first chapter starts off in a boarding school, with a lot of teen issues, etc. And the prologue was more adult. But he's not sure. And now I'm not sure.

Just venting a bit. I think once I get the MS edited further I'll head over to SYW...but if anyone has any advice, I'd wouldn't mind some...thanks!

zebedee · Sep 9, 2007

I guess the obvious one is try writing a story with the prologue characters.

But it's your story, if you like it, keep that one. He did say YA wasn't his thing.

Scrawler · Sep 9, 2007

My 2cents- keep editing and later if it still bothers you, cut the prologue and weave the scene in another way. And meanwhile, don't over-think it.

Danger Jane · Sep 9, 2007

Try writing a story with the prologue's characters.

And then try and get the prologue information in somewhere else.

veinglory · Sep 9, 2007

Try getting a second opinion, and a third?

JohnDavidPaxton · Sep 9, 2007

My heart goes out to you, but I also suggest you not wonder if you should change three books over one dissenting opinion.

Wolvel · Sep 9, 2007

NiennaC said:
So I had my dad read my current WIP a couple of months ago. He loved the prologue. Said great things about it. But then he said that it overshadowed the rest of the book for him, because he was more interested in the prologue characters than the story's characters -

For reference: The prologue is a single scene that takes place fourty-five years before the actual story, and seeing that scene, knowing what happens all those years ago, is integral to understanding the rest of the story.

I'm not sure what to do now.

He did say that his lack of interest in the rest of the MS might have been because it's YA, and the MS's first chapter starts off in a boarding school, with a lot of teen issues, etc. And the prologue was more adult. But he's not sure. And now I'm not sure.

Just venting a bit. I think once I get the MS edited further I'll head over to SYW...but if anyone has any advice, I'd wouldn't mind some...thanks!

Could you write the story without the prologue, but use a flashback in the early chapters to set up the story?

Or have a MC find a note or a newspaper clipping with the info in it?

Pila · Sep 9, 2007

Get more people to read what you have so far. Don't get discouraged by one review. Or maybe add in a few "flashbacks" with the prologue characters, so they're in the story a bit more? Either way, keep going.

ishtar'sgate · Sep 9, 2007

In my opinion you should leave the story the way it is. It's your story told your way. If it wasn't your dad who said this to you you probably wouldn't be so bummed. When you're ready, post some of it on Share Your Work. Never, never change what you write on the strength of one reader's opinion - unless it's your editor.
Linnea

Manat · Sep 9, 2007

The good news is you wrote a story that caught his interest and characters that he cared enough about to want to go on reading. So even if it turns out you decide you're writing the wrong story, at least you know you can write a good story. Congrats on that.

EriRae · Sep 9, 2007

Post the prologue and the first chapter in Show Your Work for more opinions. See what others say about the transition between the two time periods.

wee · Sep 9, 2007

Is your dad part of your target audience?

Then ....

johnzakour · Sep 9, 2007

Yeah, always take a parent (or a relatives) opinions with many many many grains of salt. They can't help but to be bias. (Even if they are in the publishing business.)

My parents still tell me to get a real job.

Listen to Erin post your stuff in the SYR area and get opinions from people who aren't on your friends and family calling plan.

Claudia Gray · Sep 9, 2007

I agree with wee. You're writing a YA novel; as such, you would expect your father not to relate to it as easily. I mean, I write vampire books, and I've given drafts to friends for their opinions. But I have one friend who, although a wonderful writer, just has not interest in/patience for anything supernatural or fantasy-driven. (He can't even watch musicals, because he just cannot make the leap to believing that people burst into song.) So I don't give my drafts to him. He won't enjoy them for reasons that have nothing to do with their quality, and the faults he'll see will all be about the fantasy elements -- not the stuff I need my beta readers to catch!

Your dad is probably just not the best person to judge a YA novel. That doesn't make his judgment automatically invalid, but it shouldn't upset you too much, either.

JoniBGoode · Sep 9, 2007

NiennaC said:
So I had my dad read my current WIP a couple of months ago. He loved the prologue. Said great things about it. But then he said that it overshadowed the rest of the book for him, because he was more interested in the prologue characters than the story's characters

First of all, I agree that you need to test a few more readers rather than just rely on one person's comments, especially when that person is not in your targeted market.

If others agree, here's a different perspective on the problem: I've encountered this situation as a reader. And I realize that what happened is, I developed a strong empathy with the characters in the prologue, but not enough empathy for the characters in the novel itself.

It's fine to have readers who are drawn into the prologue. You WANT the reader to care about those characters and seeing the end of the story. But, you also want the reader to care about the characters in Chapter 1.

I think what your dad is trying to say is that he didn't develop enough empathy for, or interest in, the characters in Chapter 1. And that's a problem that you can fix, much more easily than writing a whole new novel on the prologue characters.

NiennaC · Sep 9, 2007

This is such great advice! Thanks everyone!

lkp · Sep 9, 2007

I thin this thread is a great illustration of the reason some people suggest avoiding using prologues. When I read a book, I come to it willing to have empathy for the first set of characters I meet. If I immediately abandon those characters and am asked to connect to a new set in different circumstances, I can feel cheated. I don't think this is a genre issue --- i suspect a YA reader would feel no differently. Perhaps you could cut the prologue, and use the information within it as backstory somewhere deeper into the novel.

DocBrown · Sep 10, 2007

It is so hard for family to remain unbiased, that when I give them anything to look over I let their comments go in one ear and out the other. Good or bad. (Not that I don't appreciate the nice comments, but most of my family has no interest in Sci-fi.)

Take heart that there are some aspects that your father does like about the book so far.

Also, my 2 cents: I tend to not care for prologues unless they are short. Agreeing with others comments, I don't like to invest a lot into characters that leave the story rather quickly.

allenparker · Sep 10, 2007

Characters

Aren't the characters in the prologue the same as your main characters?

The reason for revealing MC's early is so the audience can begin. from the start, to sympathize with them. You are imprinting your readers. Once they imprint, you lose the chance to bring on another main character.

It sounds like you Dad imprinted with the first characters he found, and they were not the characters of the story.

just a thought...

Julie Worth · Sep 10, 2007

NiennaC said:
And the prologue was more adult.

The prologue should be of the same genre and appeal to the same age group. If it isn't, it will annoy readers when they hit chapter one, and put off readers who might otherwise enjoy it.

Dave.C.Robinson · Sep 10, 2007

I wrote a prologue. My betas really liked one of the characters. Unfortunately he didn't make it out of the prologue. It was a problem, which I eventually sidestepped by chopping off the prologue. Some of it's very good. It just doesn't help draw the reader in to the real story. I need to keep people reading, and that didn't do it.

Dreamer3702 · Sep 10, 2007

I've been told (and live by) that if a prologue is the same length as the other chapters and is jam-packed with info then the novel is not begining in the right spot. For example, David Farland was going to start the Runelord series with the children of a King. Yet, there was so much history and important things about the children's father that he started the series before the children were born when the Father was just a prince.

Anyway, my point is edit and edit again. Try the flashback thing etc. that everyone suggested, but if you find its still not working and your spending most of your time usuing flashbacks and referring to the past... then you have a series on your hands and you need to start sooner in the timeline and work up to your current novel.

GOODLUCK!!

ps sorry for any spelling mistakes... spellchecker isn't working :-(

BigRed · Sep 10, 2007

Never let family critique your work. Ever.

Oh, Not Good

NiennaC

zebedee

Scrawler

Bored fanatic

Danger Jane

veinglory

volitare nequeo

JohnDavidPaxton

Wolvel

Write the Damn Book!

Pila

ishtar'sgate

living in the past

Manat

EriRae

:P

wee

just a little

johnzakour

Dangerous with a Keyboard

Claudia Gray

JoniBGoode

NiennaC

lkp

DocBrown

Hopes to one day write for food.

allenparker

Naked Futon Guy

Julie Worth

What? I have a title?

Dave.C.Robinson

... with the High Command

Dreamer3702

a real life cupcake

BigRed

Write to live; live to write!